Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being unreasonable? (dating)

7 replies

askadvice96 · 14/05/2020 20:09

My ex & I are trying again. We was broken up for around 3 months and in our previous relationship he did cheat more than once and would send/receive inappropriate messages to other girls and would claim they were ‘just friends’.

Naturally, since we split, he has met new people. Now a lot of these are girls. I have trust issues as it is, but more so because of his previous deceit and lies. He recently told me none of these girls meant anything and that he just got to know them whilst we were separated but admitted some he had flirted with etc.

I asked if he would delete them from his phone/social media because why does he need them if he is back with me? He doesn’t need to be getting to know other girls if he’s in a relationship in my opinion - there’s nothing wrong with genuine friends who are girls. But these are just randoms that he has flirted with or start talking to since we broke up.

He even admitted he doesn’t need them in his life and wants to focus on us but then a week later when I mentioned it, admitted he hasn’t removed any and snapchats them all daily. He admitted he knew I’d have a problem with them too but states he didn’t want to delete them as they’re ‘just friends’ as usual.

Am I being unreasonable by asking him to delete them?

OP posts:
Amigoingmad29weeks · 14/05/2020 20:12

You are not being unreasonable. However i think you are not in a place to be 'trying again'. The trust is gone. If the trust is gone then what kind of relationship can you have?

RaininSummer · 14/05/2020 20:14

I don't know why you are bothering. Too much angst. Start again with somebody new.

PumpkinP · 14/05/2020 20:28

I had this with my ex. Told him I was comfortable with him being friends with women he had slept with whilst we weren’t together (when we had got back together) but he refused to stop being friends with them. I even found on his phone him inviting one round to his “not for a shag” Hmm needless to say it didn’t work out.

Zaphodsotherhead · 14/05/2020 20:32

You are not being unreasonable to ask him to delete them.

You are being unreasonable getting back together with him though.

thepeopleversuswork · 14/05/2020 20:36

Why on earth would you bother "trying again"? What on earth is the tradeoff for being with a congenital liar and cheat who you will never trust?

Cut your losses, life's too fucking short.

Notthetoothfairy · 14/05/2020 20:38

I didn’t make it beyond the first sentence and a half before concluding you should LTB!

Dieu · 14/05/2020 21:44

Why on earth are you trying again with this man?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page