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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think kids can't save spaces in queues

52 replies

redwinefine · 14/05/2020 18:43

At the supermarket today, I parked beside a woman who let her child (about 5/6 years of age) run off while she was chatting on the phone by her car. I didn't think anything of it and was walking to join the queue when the child ran past me to the next quarantined box. She spun round and round on the spot then ran over to railings about 10 yards away and started swinging on them. The queue moved into a cordoned off part and I moved with it. The child (still at the railings) started screaming and her mother (still traipsing over from the car) shouted at her to go back in the queue. By the time the mother joined the queue she was 3 customers behind me (it was becoming quite busy) and started mouthing off that I had 'bunked' her and her daughter, that some people are just 'horrible' etc.....which I just ignored. So AIBU to not keep the space that child was meant to be saving in the queue....when she was not in the queue and that the mother was just being a CF??

OP posts:
PrimrosePeace · 14/05/2020 19:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

Original poster
redwinefine · 14/05/2020 19:35

Thank you! I would be interested in all those who are saying IABU - why?

OP posts:
SpookyNoise · 14/05/2020 19:39

It’s a bit cheeky to send the child, but even so, the child failed to save the space anyway. Yanbu.

SarahAndQuack · 14/05/2020 19:39

Yep, nothing to do with it being a child, everything to do with it being someone who moved out of the queue!

Rover83 · 14/05/2020 19:42

Clearly you knew what the child was trying to do, if you hadn't realised that would have been different. I dont see anything wrong with what happened and if you knew the child was trying to save a spot in the queue you could have gently reminded her that she wasnt in the queue or saved her space regardless.

You have no idea what is happening in other peoples lives and it wouldn't have cost you anything to just be nice

AnnaNimmity · 14/05/2020 19:45

I send my child to queue at the supermarket for me - the queue takes up to 2 hours to move, so we take it in turns (it's walking distance from our house).

LaurieFairyCake · 14/05/2020 19:48

Children can

That kid can't

Bridecilla · 14/05/2020 19:48

Yabu. The child is a person - she's learning so didn't get it quite right but a person got to the queue before you

Incontinencesucks · 14/05/2020 19:49

Yanbu. Kids can certainly save spaces but only if they are in them!

Original poster
redwinefine · 14/05/2020 19:49

@Rover83 I thought I knew what she was doing until she ran off. I may even be underestimating the 10 yards comment. Should I (and everyone behind me) have waited for her to finish doing laps of the car park railings? Grin She was too far away to be 'gently' reminded. I would have had to shout...

OP posts:
bellabasset · 14/05/2020 19:50

Well I think under these circumstances a mother should be in the queue making the call and not letting a child run round a car park when we are under social distancing rules.

LudaMusser · 14/05/2020 19:50

Leave a queue, lose your space

Notthetoothfairy · 14/05/2020 19:51

Yes a child can hold a space but that one didn’t (and she was a CF for running past you as you made your way to the queue). Absolutely not your problem that the child failed to stay put and you had no moral or other obligation to act as if she had done.

Original poster
redwinefine · 14/05/2020 19:53

@Bridecilla so if someone joins the queue, then goes back to their car to get their list and their bags, I should respect them as 'someone who got to the queue before me' rather than expect them to join the end of the queue? I'm surprised some people are that much of a pushover.

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 14/05/2020 20:01

so if someone joins the queue, then goes back to their car to get their list and their bags, I should respect them as 'someone who got to the queue before me' rather than expect them to join the end of the queue? I'm surprised some people are that much of a pushover.

Pushover? Really? Letting someone re-join a queue if they forgot something is basically decent. To not do so is really shitty. Is your life really so busy that one person less in front of you makes so much difference? I’m no pushover, but I couldn’t be that selfish.

Bridecilla · 14/05/2020 20:03

It's a kid, I'd probably joke "were you meant to be saving the place for Mammy?"

I'm not that desperate to get into Tesco 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
redwinefine · 14/05/2020 21:57

@MintyMabel Yes. I couldn't hold up the queue to let one CF in. That's not selfish. It's called 'not being a mug'.

@Bridecilla I really would have had to shout that across the car park for the child to hear...kind of defeats the point

OP posts:
singtanana · 14/05/2020 22:03

I’d have probably left a space to see if the child came back. If I was the mother I’d have quietly explained (If the child asked/was upset) that we have to stay in the queue to keep a place and not have mouthed off. You technically did nothing wrong. But leaving a space to see if they were coming back would have been a kind thing to do (it takes a village and all that) without making you a mug.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 14/05/2020 22:05

My dd queues for me as I’m a bit crippled. When she gets near the door I take over.

Hope you don’t mind.

Thisismytimetoshine · 14/05/2020 22:06

No, if she'd fecked off to play she wasn't in the queue.

Thisismytimetoshine · 14/05/2020 22:07

Nobody will mind if your dd is actually in the queue, Jay. Why would they?

Original poster
redwinefine · 14/05/2020 22:08

@singtanana i know what you mean, but by then the queue was in the cordoned bit (our supermarket has tape, etc up in lines and at different heights to stop people cutting in), so the child would not have been able to pass me at 2m. She would have had to run the length of the tape with other customers or I would have had to stand 2m from the end of the barricade to let her in (and hold the queue up in the meantime) once she'd finished running around

OP posts:
Original poster
redwinefine · 14/05/2020 22:09

@JayAlfredPrufrock not if she was actually IN the queue, wouldn't have minded at all. The mother was joining the queue after her chat at the car. Not because she was 'taking over'.

OP posts:
Daphnise · 14/05/2020 22:11

The child was not holding a place.

And the mother was lacking in intelligence.

notacooldad · 14/05/2020 22:15

Well you clearly have your own view so what does it matter what anyone else think?
its over and done with now and unlikely to happen again so no issue.🤷‍♀️