Posting her for traffic really and don’t exactly know what I expect anyone to say but I don’t know how much longer I can do this for.
I suffer with anxiety and bipolar 2 and in particular health anxiety. This whole pandemic is therefore terrifying to me. On top of that my colposcopy has been cancelled with no date for when it will go ahead. My GP has assured me multiple times that the wait will be fine as the cell changes are so minor but all I can think of is getting cancer between now and being seen.
I work as a manager in an educational setting as well as having a union role so you can imagine the volume of questions/requests for support we have right now given the situation. I try to pretend like everything is fine and we’ll get through it all for the sake of my staff and members so put on a brave face but I’m seriously not coping.
My gran lives up the road and she’s 87 soon. While she’s excellent for her age I’m used to seeing her all the time and now worry about all the time lost and how many more years I’ll have with her; she’s the only grandparent I’ve got left.
Besides all that I know I’m really lucky in that I’m on full pay, my job is stable and I’m in a situation where I’ll never lose my home so it makes me feel selfish to feel this way, but in all honesty I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I wake up every morning now just wishing the hours away so I can go back to bed. 