A good few years back, me and my girlfriend of the time went through a rough patch. No cheating or abuse, just we were snappy, both had family drama etc. She (I found later) had her head turned but what I suppose is a bad boy type. Things got to a point where we had to decide what to do about us. I went all in, invited her to move in with me, told her I was fully committed to making it work. She decided instead to go off with the other bloke. Sad trombone.
Years pass, then at the start of lockdown I get an email from her to my old email address, prob only contact details she has left. I didn't see it for a couple of weeks but once I noticed it I responded, we exchanged pleasantries. She asked for my new number but I kept it to myself.
After a few civil back and forths she sends me a long email about how the last few years of her life were terrible, she made a massive mistake and she has been left high and dry by the bad boy with a kid!
I'm no fool, I can see where this is going. She had already established in our back and forth I had bought a nice two bed house and had done well in my career, so had progressed from when she knew me renting a little studio place. She has no job and lives back home. I am 30, she is a couple of years younger.
Now, although I am single and did feel for her, I am no fool and will not be wading into this shitshow. I have no desire to be saddled bringing up some wasters kid as well as living with the nagging feeling of being second best. I dont want to be nasty though, for all her mistakes she is a nice person so I want to let her down as gently as possible? What do I say? I need a reason to rebuff that doesn't just sound like me saying her life sounds unappealing to me. Should I keep it on email or text her? Do I offer ongoing support, if so how do I do that whilst still ensuring she knows there is no hope of us getting together.