I hate my baby's name

[WatchingFriendsOnRepeat]

I didn't know where to put this post and I need as much advice as possible because I'm so torn!

I'm a single mum to 2 boys - 5yrs old (next month) and 8 weeks.

My eldest was named while I was 19wks pregnant and when he was born he fitted the name perfectly - i never had any doubt of his name and still love it! He is Teddy.

I couldn't find a name I loved during my pregnancy with my youngest, but I did have a list of names I liked. I still like those names but none of them fit. I went in for my planned c section with the name Charlie pretty much on top, but he has never suited it in my mind. I mentioned it to my mum the other day and she sheepishly agreed. We all call him "baby!" My dad keeps calling him Chuck or Chaz... I really hate when people immediately say "cheeky Charlie" when I tell them his name.

My eldest loves the name Charlie and said he will still call him Charlie even if I change it, which is fine. I think if I change it and stick to it anyway, he will eventually forget his original name.

I like Louis. He suits a Louis. My mum isn't too keen but that's partly because she thinks he is a Billy/William. I kind of do too, but my dad is Billy and my 3 siblings and I are extremely screwed up thanks to my dad, who is old and wobbly now but still a mean man and I see him everyday as I live next door to both my parents. I don't want to call him Billy and end up regretting it more than I do Charlie!

The baby's dad is not around at all so I can't ask his opinion. I feel embarrassed that my baby, in my view, has no name!

Did anyone else here have name regret? Did you change it or did the baby just "become" the name?

Please help...

All my children have three names each and not one of them has ever used any of the their middle names. I gave my girls 'non traditional' first names, then two other more established second and third names in case they didn't like their given names. Half the time they can't even remember what their other names are.

The boys too have never resorted to their middle names. Middle names are only brought out when speaking severely and needing to 'wheel out the big guns', when the whole name is used!

Do many people go by their middle or other names?

@Laiste you're right - it's not about the name. I'm not asking for opinions on the names. Just experiences on this kind of situation; changing a name weeks after announcing it to friends and family x

You will be calling him this for the rest of your life. Go with what feels right.

You don't have to stick with Charlie as a name. It's lovely, but if it doesn't feel right, then don't go with it.

You are not changing his name, you are changing the order of names and so what will be his first name. Then thankfully, most people won't have met him as Charlie yet so will meet Louis Charles. (People care a lot less than you think, and you being happy is the most important thing here!)

Do change it, I chose my eldest son's name, DH wasn't keen but it grew on him. DD2 came along and we couldn't agree on a name and he said I chose the first so it was his choice. So it is 45 years later and I still don't like it, if I am talking to people I don't know I refer to my other 3 kids by name but I will refer to 2nd son as 2nd son. I can't help it, I don't think about it I just don't like saying it.

You have the opportunity to change it with little fuss, Louis Charles is lovely and it means it doesn't matter if your eldest calls him Charlie as lots of people use a 2nd name.

Congratulations.

@Lynda07 yours is kind of proving a lot of people's posts about other people's opinions. Yes, Charlie (if he keeps that name) is Charles. Teddy is not Edward. He is Theodore. Sorry to dash your "hopes"

I had my second choice name for DD. I wanted Madeleine, but ex-h insisted everyone would always associate it with Madeleine McCann forever (DD was born years after Madeleine McCann had disappeared and was not in the headlines anymore other than an occasional update, so I disagreed that it was going to be a long-term association, it's not a name like Adolf or something which is only linked to one person).

I do really like her name now, but I feel like I also would have liked Madeleine. I always liked the name we went with, but it wasn't my first choice. She has a middle name which I have always hated (it was ex-h's choice, in return for me choosing the first name), so I just never use it.

I'm not sure I understand about someone 'suiting' a name. I've heard it before from a couple of people, but I just don't understand the concept so can't really help there.

There aren't many advantages to lockdown WatchingFriendsonRepeat so take advantage of not having had to register the birth yet and use the names you want.

Families can be awful about names if there is a tradition of certain names which the parents don't want to use. However, as children grow, it is harder for them to make comments. I only know one person who uses her middle name rather than her first but I think it does give children an extra option. I definitely agree that calling your baby Billy/William would not be right in your circumstances.

Ultimately it's your choice for the moment and then your baby's as he grows older. Go for what you want now.

Teddy or Ted is short for Edward, not Theodore!. There's always one who jumps in with some wrong information.

All your names are lovely. Louis Charles is fabulous.

I understand about a name not suiting. Names are not neutral strings of letters - they are overlaid for each of us with our unique mix of associations, acquired over a lifetime. Subconsciously we can expect a person with a certain name to look a certain way or have particular characteristics. Babies don’t all look the same, at least to their mothers!

Good luck with whatever you decide, and I hope you can get some good RL support after all you have been through.

My God that's a terrible few months. You're doing brilliantly to be still on your feet! I think both names are lovely and either one will be a great choice. Go with your gut.

A different perspective here OP. It’s easy for posters to tell you to just go ahead and change it and no-one will comment or care and you’ll all live happily ever after.

I’ve done it. Years ago. It still haunts me. It was a terrible, unsettled period in my life and I zoned in on my baby’s name as a focus for all that unhappiness. Unless you’ve given him a bad name - which you haven’t - I would advise sticking with it and getting used to it. Because what you gain by choosing a name you prefer, you will lose in embarrassment x1000. People will joke about it. They will remind you of it a decade later when you think surely no-one remembers now. They do. You will go years without anyone saying anything then one day a friend will say “remember when Louis was Charlie?” And laugh their heads off. And you will cringe inside. Because it will take you back to a very sad, unsettled time in your life.

Charlie is a nice name. Louis is a bit wet in my opinion. But it’s not about my opinion. It’s about which outcome you can live with: the status quo or the embarrassment of living with being “the one who changed her baby’s name when he was two months old”.

I did like Charlie until every person I said it to immediately went "awww, Cheeky Charlie!" I hate that. It makes me think of a class clown and an idiot.

My Charlie is now grown up and if anyone did say things like that they didn't register or continue through his life, so don't worry that he'll continue to be called that. Obviously, I don't know the people your son will encounter, but my son was one of 3 or 4 Charlies in his secondary school year group and as far as I know they never had any issues with it.
Some of them may have been registered as Charles, but have always been known as Charlie and continue to be, so I don't agree with the poster who commented about it not being an adult name - how many people do you meet who actually call themselves Charles?

However if you want to change to Louis go ahead, it is a lovely name, as long as it is pronounced properly and not as Lewis.

I had a friend change their DC name when they were a few weeks old. They just announced that they'd decided he wasn't really a Bob and he is now officially Gary - totally made up names here of course. Tbh while I remember the name as it is now and that they changed it, I can't really remember what it was before just that it was a nice name as is his name now. They did have to reregister but it wasn't a problem.

Teddy and Louis sound lovely. The fact you haven't got the birth certificate makes it an even easier decision to change his name.

Both Louis and Charles are lovely names. I'd keep Charles as a middle name, then if Teddy wants to keep calling him Charlie it’s not too strange, and it can be his own special name for him.

I wouldn't use Theodore as a middle name, though, he needs his own identity. I'd hate to have my sibling's name incorporated into mine.

Louis Charles is a brilliant name (does sound like he should be King of France though! ) It's really cool, elegant, classic but also fashionable.

I wouldn’t change it- it sounds as if you only changed it because of what people said? What if people say things about the name Louis? Like oh I hope he’s not mad like mad King Louis. People will always say stupid things just correct them or ignore them Otherwise where will it end? Will you change it if people say things about the next name and so on and so on?

Change it now whilst he’s young! My parents changed my name when I was 4 or 5 I still remember it and I’m still angry about it to this day. Telling me I’d be called something else from now on, and my friends and family to call me something else. It’s like your identity has been taken away. also loved my old name and really dislike this one . So yeah definitely get on to it asap if it’s what you want to do!

We changed our first born's name when he was about four months old - there is a special form for changing the names of children aged under 1.

The name just never suited him.

I've never been that keen on our second child's name tbh, it was his Dad's choice. When he was three I found his 'perfect name' but far too late to change it now, of course

Wow @quarantinevibes shocked your parents changed the name at that age, as I said in my above post - I found 'the' name for my three year but would never have changed it. I did say to him, what do you think of this name? and he said firmly, 'No, my name is (insert his birth name)'. Quite right of him too.

Change it. You are never ever going to like it, and 15 /30/60 years down the line you will still hate it. It will never grow on you.

Do it now, and you won't look back.

I slightly regret not sticking to my guns with DS1.. I wanted to name him Jesse, and dh wouldn't go with it . 27 years later, he's a somewhat hippyish musician and it would have suited him perfectly..his actual name is nice and slightly unusual (or was when he was born) but still.

My DS2 IS Charlie and no one has ever had any negative associations with it or called him cheeky, because he's not! He is Charles on his BC but has always been called Charlie. I do think names should be 'the proper one' on the BC not shortened versions.

He's your baby and if you want him to be Louis..then so he should be!

People will joke about it. They will remind you of it a decade later when you think surely no-one remembers now. They do. You will go years without anyone saying anything then one day a friend will say “remember when Louis was Charlie?” And laugh their heads off. And you will cringe inside. Because it will take you back to a very sad, unsettled time in your life

Sorry, but I disagree. This poster had a very particular experience.
We changed our child's name, and, seriously, it was nothing more than an interesting anecdote. People were interested, some surprised, but no-one laughed, and I wouldn't have minded if they did tbh. A couple of new mums also said they were unsure of their baby's names too. But literally, no-one cares, and until this post came up, I had actually forgotten he had a different name for the first few months. His new name is definitely HIS name. like you, we had just stopped calling him by his birth name, just calling him baby instead, as his birth name just never really fitted. That was a conclusive sign to us that we just had to change his name. So glad I did. He is seven now.

I know someone who changed their babies name when they were 3 months old. Changing names for discretionary but they went from something quite simple like Emma to something a bit more out there like Niamh (this was 8 years or so ago). Everyone was quite shocked when they announced on social media, text and phone calls they were doing this and everyone must call her Niamh. The shock lasted about a week and now I doubt anyone would remember she was once Emma unless prompted

I like the name Charlie. Giving a baby a good, solid name which they will grow into is better than giving them a cutsie name which they will grow out of. Saying that, I like Louis too!