I mean Covid-19 has probably put this on hold seriously but it has given me time to think. I need to independent help opinions on where me and my family should live.
I have a 19-month DC who was hard fought for (5 yrs. worth of miscarriages and IVF) so hard that I never really thought about what happens afterward.
Now he’s that little bit older we’re thinking what next. We moved back to my hometown 7 years ago to be near my parents for when we finally had children. It’s been fine in some respects but I’m not sure this is where I want to bring up DC.
Hometown is an industrial town but with lots of lovely greenbelt and semi-rural villages outlying (we live in one of those) and excellent rail and road connections.
The town is pretty much a dump and unfortunately, it only seems to get worse - actually quite sad. We’re a short train ride from 2 big cities though so that’s something.
The village I don’t like at it’s very waggy, all fur coat and no knickers, so many nasty cliquey a-holes - wish I’d have known (one set of neighbours is a perfect example of this). And what would be our local school is terrible. It’s OFSTED Good which I know is ‘is good’ but there’s so many other things that make it not a good school outside of how OFSTED. We have two sets of friends who’ve moved their DC’s out into Private - I don’t want to have to do this but DC is a late summer boy so feel he’s already at a big enough disadvantage. I want to give him the best that I possibly can.
Friendship circle wise we did have a really nice group of friends all of us close by, but by 4 years ago half the circle had moved away then there was a terrible argument so we don’t really have any close friends very locally now. This has been a massive sadness to me and 7 months into Mat leave I met a small group of local women via a baby class and we have formed a lovely friendship group, it’s obviously a new friendship though and I feel Covid has put it on a bit of precipice of whether it will last or not.
Because of the above we’ve been thinking about moving to where my husband is from for some time. It’s a beautiful coastal town with excellent state schools both at primary and secondary, it’s not In England so DC being a summer baby would have less of an impact. It’s just a nicer pace of life. We visit up to 4 times a year and I just feel so relaxed and at home there and there would be so much of a more outside healthier lifestyle for DC – I do worry about the pollution here we have a serious A road which bisects the village. My DH loved growing up there, whereas I’m not sure I can say the same about growing up here.
Two real sticking points are my parents and to a lesser extent my DH’s job.
We have a complex relationship with my parents. We are close but they have not been great in a few serious instances over the last few years and I don’t think we will ever come back from that and be as close as we were and we don’t see them all that much socially - they have a very wonderful social life and are always off here there and everywhere. They are amazing with my DC though. And I feel it would break their hearts if we moved. And I would miss them.
DH has his own business with most of his clients in the North West (that’s not where we live but easily commutable). He obviously does a lot of home working as well. He’s unsure whether he would be able to pick-up the same level of clients in this new location and worries that he’d spend a lot of nights away - probably staying at my DP’s keeping his current clients base! Although current restrictions have shown a lot can be done via Teams and Zoom. Going back into industry is not an option the commute would make him miserable.
There’s also the friendship issue, I never realised how much I missed having a group of good friends close by but then in 6 months’ time this group may not have stood the test of time.
Anyone else been in a similar position - thoughts? I know we can 't stay exaclty where we are but it's how far we go.