I took on their pet, they now want to get another?!

[beelieve]

2 months ago I 'adopted' a small breed pet (very low maintenance) after a friend put a plea out on Facebook as they could no longer care for the animal. We have several other animals too (inc. dogs) all animals have insurance and regular vet checkups etc. I'm wfh and we very rarely holiday or stay away from home, so animal care isn't really an issue for us.

This isn't a judgement post, I understand that situations change and rehoming is sometimes is the only option.
But the friend has announced their plan to get a puppy after lockdown, (again, via Facebook) and asking for breed recommendations. Considering the 'adopted' animal is so much easier to care for than a dog, and one of the friends reasons was work commitments, I'm a bit pissed off - and also feeling a bit sad for the potential new puppy!

DH thinks I need to say something? And that I ABU if I don't.

Whereas, I feel I'm being a busybody and I'd come across patronising to speak to them, but I also don't really want to silently seethe when I get the invite to meet the new addition. Should I just stay out of it and hope for the best?

Why don't you add to her post a comment like:

"We're happy to give you back (insert name of pet) now you can look after him/her again. I'm glad we were able to give you respite when you needed it, let me know when you can pick him/her up."

You've done them a favour, but don't let them take the piss &/or make another pet homeless in a month or so when they can no longer be bothered to look after it.

Send a message saying you can always return the previous pet to them if they think they can now cope with a pet. Let them read and squirm.

Irresponsible twats!! I couldn’t help but write on their wall “oh how exciting! When did your working hours change? Glad you don’t want X back - we’ve totally fallen in love with him!”

Have their work commitments changed?

@DoesJeffKnow Yes op...Exactly this!

I think I’d be more public. I’d post “Are you sure? You couldn’t cope with your hamster last year, and dogs are a lot harder work..”

Work commitments are very much the same, there were a lot of other reasons too when I took on the pet. Just the work commitments reason stood out for me, as this small animal does not need someone there in the day, you could easily have a few days away with someone popping in to check on them.

As an animal lover, I'm reconsidering the friendship, so maybe I should just write something a bit squirm-worthy.
I would definitely feel partially responsible if the hypothetical pup ends up as a Facebook plea in 6 months.

We're happy to give you back (insert name of pet) now you can look after him/her again. I'm glad we were able to give you respite when you needed it, let me know when you can pick him/her up

Please post this, very good.

Yes definitely post one of the comments suggested! People like this boil my blood.

I'm guessing it's a snake??

My brother bought a dog after harping on to my dad how much he really wanted one for a long time. Back then my brother still lived at home

Eventually my dad agreed and low and behold my brother got bored of the dog so my dad looks after it now and has done for many years

My brother moved out a few years ago and guess what? He bought another dog, same breed as the one he abandoned. The worst thing about it is that this dog too is more often than not at my dad's house as my brother needs "time off"

It really annoys me as I feel my dad is being taken for a ride. Not only that, both dogs are large and badly behaved

My dad is too nice and I feel he gets taken advantage of by my brother. One of my friend's asked my brother if he was going to abandon this dog too, it didn't go down too well but he said what we were all thinking

No, not a snake - I've always wanted reptiles etc. But DH is terrified of them

"I cannot think of any dog breed that is less work than your hamster was, sorry. Do you want the hamster back instead?"

obs replace hamster with whatever the animal really was

I wonder if the first pet was one they decided they didn't really enjoy, so they used lack of time/work commitments as a somewhat more socially acceptable excuse for getting rid of it-- nicer-sounding than "hamsters are boring; I want a dog".

If it's a matter of the pet not matching the lifestyle and expectations of the owner, it's possible that they could still turn out to be decent dog-owners (though they should have done more research and serious thinking before getting the first pet).

I don't have a problem with someone rehoming a pet (particularly if it's the type of pet that doesn't form obvious emotional attachments to people), so long as they find someone who will take good care of the pet.

At the same time, I can see how it must frustrate and worry you... I'd be annoyed, but I'm not sure how much I'd say. It would affect the friendship, though, and I might start phasing them out of my life.

I know a couple of people who have recently gots dogs / pups because they are home but they are such a huge commitment. I am not sure everyone realises this. I would call your mate out.

Definitely post & shame them. It sounds like they didn't really like that type of pet but gave those reasons to get someone bail them out of a poor decision without looking bad.

They'll likely be spouting some crap excuses again in a few months why the puppy hasn't worked out in another woe is me FB post.

I know two people who got kittens, and within a very short space of time decided they should be ‘outdoor’ cats.

They clearly got bored of them, and now the poor things live in sheds and get fed when their owners remember. There is no love or compassion towards the animals, which are now an inconvenience.

People can be selfish twats. I think a lot less of these people now, and did ask during a party why the bothered to get pets of they clearly don’t care for them. They laughed and said the cats were fine outside😡.

Awful. I mean I could sort of understand if they'd rehomed a dog and were now getting a budgie or something but that's really poor. I'd have to say as others have suggested that you're willing to return their pet seeing as their circumstances have improved. They won't take you up on it

As tempting as it would be to post something like this

I think I’d be more public. I’d post “Are you sure? You couldn’t cope with your hamster last year, and dogs are a lot harder work

On Facebook I wouldn't. Not because of the embarrassment or friendship, but because it's more likely just to make her defensive.

I'd give her a call and say (basically) 'Hi, I've seen your post about getting a puppy. I was wondering if you've thought about (all the reasons she rehomed the 'hamster') plus how much training/exercising/holiday care etc a puppy needs as it would be so sad to rehome it after --5minutes- a few months'

It might not go down too well but 🤷🏻‍♀️ It might stop a puppy ending up having several homes

I couldn't help but comment similarly to previous suggestions.

I wouldn't put your response on general FB chat. There's no way she'll go " Yes you're absolutely right, it is a big commitment and we haven't thought it through". Plus you will likely get other people adding their thoughts which may or may not be helpful.

I'd message her privately and pitch it as you're concerned they would be overcommitting themselves by getting the pet and what's needed to look after it. Say that it's obviously their decision but as you've ended up looking after their African Pet Snails you feel you have to mention it.

@Itwasntme1
Really? What horrid people. The cats won't be happy outside, it will be wet and damp most of the time and then being hungry on top? If you are anywhere near me (South East - Middlesex/Surrey) I will be more than happy to forward these details onto a couple of lovely cat rehoming people I know. These types of people bloody annoy me.

Commenting sounds so, so tempting but I'm inclined to agree with the pp who thinks it'll make her go on the defensive. You'll probably get blocked and she'll plough on with her dog plans. If the objective is to make her reconsider getting a dog because her circumstances aren't appropriate then a personal conversation is more likely to achieve that. If the aim is to make her squirm then I guess facebook is good for that, but I'm not sure what it would help with.

Of course the issue may be not that her work hours are awkward, but she sold you that as a sob story because she just didn't want the hamster (or whatever it is). In which case maybe getting a dog is fine and she's a rubbish friend who's happy to lie to you to get you to help her out.

Reply via Facebook so it's public that you're delighted they're ready to have a dog again and when would they like (insert name) back?