I have just started mat leave. Have a very active three year old who is normally in full time nursery so used to a lot of activity/interaction. DH and I have both been working full time from home with DC around for the last two months. DH continues to work full time from home.
Now that I'm on mat leave I'm doing 100% of the childcare during the day. Absolutely fair as DH is working. However his life is easier now than it would have been without lockdown- he's not having to get DC up and ready and to nursery (he always did drops and I did picks), his hour-each-way commute is gone. He's laying in til 8 and starting work in his PJ's an hour and half earlier than he normally would. I'm doing breakfast, lunch and dinner for all three of us (DC eats early so DH is still working over dinner prep time). Also whenever I do DC and me a snack/drink I do one for DH and take it to him in the study. We all eat together in the evening and I clean up while DH does bath/bed (which will be good prep for the newborn days when LO is likely to cluster feed in the evening so elder DC is used to DH doing bedtime routine). DH will often do several hours more work in the evening as he's especially busy right now, so it's not like he's lazy, he's just a bit work obsessed.
DHs life is easier whereas mine is significantly harder than we had planned/anticipated -without covid DC would be in nursery three days and I would have those days to complete baby prep/batch cool/rest, and then we'd have had a couple days together to do fun stuff, see friends etc. Instead we're stuck in the house. It's been quite a difficult pregnancy and I am suffering with terrible heartburn/general third trimester inability to sleep so am KNACKERED.
I'm also keen not to set the expectation that DH has no responsibility for the DC/house as I'll want some greater participation once the newborn is here.
I am fine with all this- it's not what we planned but covid is making a mess of everyone's lives right now and obviously my ability to chill/enjoy mat leave/take DC out to see friends/softplay etc is bottom of the list... My only requirement is DH takes an hour for lunch each day. He can play with DC for half hour and I can have a fifteen min chill and fifteen mins to make us all lunch before we eat together. We're on day 2 and I've had to nag DH both days to do this. To me this is a bit of a pisstake.
I know others have it harder so don't really need a lecture on that but AIBU to tell DH that taking a break each day is not too much to ask when he's already working way more hours than normal and this is being facilitated by me.