To wonder how often you have sex

[Needtosleep4days]

I don't mean this in a weirdo way. Me and oh have been through months now without it. We actually love eachother and get on really well. But the kids are poor sleepers. We were starting to get them into a routine and then this happened. Now they seem to wake up in the night. Take forever to sleep. I'm always worried one will walk in on us. It's just hard to relax.

I'm not asking for any advice on bedtime. I'm asking you how you find the time for passion. I'm aware we need to "get back into it" I just have forgotten how

Once a week, sometimes twice.

It was much more frequent previously but now we have a toddler and my fiancé has a very demanding job.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have only done it twice since finding out. I don't feel great and am exhausted.
Prior to that several times a week due to ttc.
Prior to that around once a week since our 3yo was born. A bit more than that prior to having dc.

Honestly, I don't think comparisons are helpful. If you're happy and your partner is happy, that's what matters.

DH and I were 5-7 times a weekers (more driven by me than him, his sex drive is lower than mine was) until we had DD - that plus me being on medication for PND means it's more like once or twice a month. But we've talked about it, we make time for physical intimacy in other ways and we're both happy and contented for now. We check in with each other regularly to make sure that's still the case.

Uh, so what if small children walk in? It's no big deal. Either they don't notice, or they ask what you're doing.

1-2 times a week, more now we’re in lockdown and we don’t constantly have colds!

I use the habit tracker app and have sex- once a week as one of my habits just to give me a little nudge.

15:262bazookas

Really??

@2bazookas As much as I know you're right, I do fully empathise with the OP. I'm the same, the idea of little ones walking in on me would put a complete dampener on the mood and I wouldn't be able to relax.

I was the same when we had the baby sleeping in our room. Something about knowing he could wake up/we could be disturbed and have to stop stressed me out and put me off the idea completely. Although I couldn't tell you exactly why it bothered me.

wow you people are impressive! Me and dp only managed it this weekend for the first time since lockdown. The kids are ALWAYS THERE!!!! I have pre-teens.......I swear they stay up late on purpose or just won't sleep so we can't get any.

I am half tempted to just have it out with them and say....."look you need to get to sleep. Mum is alot nicer when she's had some!"

Once or twice a day. 4 kids between us who sleep well (and a lock on the door for extra security!).

Thanks for the replies. I do need to put effort in soon. In my head I'm going to aim for saturday. Oh will be off work and we have more chance of tiring the kids out and making a plan to relax and watch a film.

I think it's just strange trying to get turned on when you are thinking about the kod being in the next room. I couldn't do it with a baby. They will never know your humping next to the Moses basket but personally I can't do it lol. I know it's silly.

It's refreshing to see such a mixture of situations and comments. I feel less alone now.

Nowhere near as much as pre-kids - probably only 2-3 times a week nowadays.

We haven't had it for months and neither of us are bothered. We've discussed it. It might be nice if we were both in the mood, but I feel like there's a lot more to us than the sexual side and we're ok.

Twice a week. Harder now we are in lockdown.

I think it is normal for sex to go on the wayside when you have young kids. For us scheduling it in helps.

1/2 a week for us since having our son. Wish I wanted sex more. Enjoy it when we do it. Just rather have extra time asleep or read book.