I have never known my real dad as long story short he got locked away before o was born and we moved away for my mum's safety. My step dad met my mum when I was 3 and officially moved in together when I was 5. He has always been the "father figure" since then. I was a naughty child and he had a short temper which ended up in many arguments and we never really got on, he had a brain haemorrhage when I was around 10-12 and he ended up getting angry easier and sometimes came close to physical stuff.
I feel like I was always the one on the recieving end of his anger whilst my older brother (different dad) and my younger brother and sister (stepdads children) were never scolded or disciplined for their actions. I always felt like the target and grew up feeling like the target and was always put down by him, this made me avoid interactions where possible, stay up in my room, go down for dinner when he was out or in bed etc. Which in turn has affected my relationship with my mum also.
I'm expecting a child in October and would love to keep my family involved with its life, however I don't feel as though I want my child to have a relationship with him as a "grandad" because of what I've been through and the bad bond we have. So the difficult part is this will probably affect my family being able to get involved as much.
Am I in the wrong thinking that that's the path I would rather take? Part of me thinks this is how it should be, where as the other half of me says that I should give him a chance and see if he can be a better grandad than he was a stepdad.