to consider buying a house with a friend?

[GettingAntsy]

Have been close friends with this lady for 7 years. Both find ourselves unexpectedly single. Both want to be in London and both would struggle to buy a place independently. But if we pooled our savings we could afford a pretty nice 2 bed place.

However, I've heard lots of horror stories about how it can go wrong if one of you wants to sell/move, if you fall out, you can end up losing loads of money and an important relationship, etc.

Though it seems to me that all of those potential problems also apply to buying with a husband/boyfriend. Don't see why it should be different with a friend.

Obviously we would be careful about setting future plans down clearly in a contract.

Have any of you done this?
Do you know anyone who did?
Did it go well or badly?

One scenario where I can see difficulty immediately is that where one of you stops being single and wants to start a family somewhere else. Are you buying outright or with a mortgage?

My brother bought a house with his best friend for similar reasons. He had a larger deposit so they had a legal agreement drawn up. A few years later (4 or 5?) he wanted to move in with a girlfriend so my brother bought him out. It worked well for them.

Firstmentat - definitely with a mortgage!!! I'd sell my firstborn to be able to buy a London property outright lol.

Can you see yourself living with your friend forever and never wanting to meet a partner and live with them or have a family? I think with a partner, there's the expectation it will last, but with a friend it's unlikely to be permanent. But everyone's circumstances are different of course and it could be right for you.

From experience I can tell you relationships with friends no matter how close definitely change as you live together.
Not a good idea just because you're both single mortgages are years and years you both won't be single forever and would want your own place and privacy with partners later on.

Firstmentat - definitely with a mortgage!!!
Think then what is going to happen if one of you is unable to contribute their part of the mortgage anymore. With a spouse / partner there is usually an expectation of "for richer, for poorer". Are you prepared to pay the mortgage yourself for 20+ years if your friend cannot contribute due to ill health, for example?

Honestly, unless you envision yourself never wanting a partner or wanting to live somewhere else or make any significant changes to your lifestyle then I think it’s a bad idea. Even if you discuss considerations like that and reach theoretical agreement now, life is unpredictable. I know three sets of friends who’ve done this and it’s only been fully successful for one set.

My friend and I regret not doing this.

We each bought our own 1 bed flat in the end but we could have bought a 2 bed together at least 2 years earlier in a more central location. We would have made a similar agreement not to sell for at least three years.

We both have partners now and would have agreed no partners moving in without the others agreement.

I think it can work if you are good enough friends and have clear expectations.

Well I would wait six months because I’m sure the bottom is going to fall out of the housing market.

There are a lot of things you’d need to square up prior.
Perhaps things like:
What happens if:
One loses job and can’t pay their half
Length of time before you reassess the situation with a view to sale if one wants to
How you split the sale profit or loss.
Valid reasons for one forcing sale
What happens is bf or partner wants to stay over or move in
How bills are paid
Pets
Decorating communal areas
Use of communal spaces eg kitchen
Who cleans what when
One using something more than the other, eg she has the heating on full bung every day in summer and it costs a fortune. Or you get a communal phone to get broadband and the call charges are racking up.

Have you lived together before?

The difference between a friend and a boyfriend/partner is that with the boyfriend/partner you at least INTEND to be together long-term. Obviously you might not be, but at the point of buying the house you think you will be.
With a friend surely it’s the opposite, you must surely intend that you will both move on at some point? and it’s unlikely that that point will be at the same time for both of you.
I do understand that it’s a way onto the property ladder but you need to proceed very very carefully if you do go ahead...

It's ok. Just get good legal advice. Get legal documents drawn up about if one wants to sell etc. Be very clear about boundries - if meet someone how often do they stay over etc.

Could you rent together to see if it works before commuting to buy? I moved into a rental with a close friend, and she was such a nightmare to live with that the initial 6 month contract was hell just to get through.

I did with a friend (15 years ago when you could still buy a big house for not much in east London!).
The split was 1/3 and 2/3.
We took out insurance on each other.

Best thing we ever did as it massively increased in value!

I eventually moved out after 4 years and she still lives there.

I would definitely try living together first. And do all the legal stuff and 'what if' scenarios other people have mentioned. What are your personalities like? I think it's easier if you are both pretty easy going. I've bought with a friend in the past and it worked out well - but we also didn't overstretch ourselves financially and I was in a position to buy her out when she wanted to move in with her boyfriend, so I would keep the purchase within means as far as possible. We are both pretty chilled people with no fixed ideas about things, either decor or living wise, so it was quite easy to just rumble along nicely.

I have done this with a friend (also in London), but I have never lived in the property. His job means getting a mortgage is very hard, so I contributed to the deposit (not a huge amount) and I’m a part owner, on the mortgage etc.

When he sells it I get my initial percentage back, if he doesn’t sell it in my lifetime, no biggie, not the end of the world.

I rented with a friend. It was horrible. I lasted 6 months. We no longer speak.

It’s massively different than cohabiting with a with a partner.

I also have friends who’ve done it. Both regret it & no longer speak to the other party.

I wouldn’t

My husband did this and it worked out well. The most important thing is to make sure you have the same values around integrity and honesty. Otherwise don’t even think about it.

Thanks all for your comments. I think renting together first is a good idea.