To wonder why the fuck I bother cleaning anything

[polexiaaphrodesia]

As above. DCs are 1 and 4. I cleaned the kitchen yesterday, washed the floors etc and within 2 mins it was back to the same state as before. Life feels like a never ending round of meals, clean up gigantic mess after meals while house gets trashed by the kids in a different room, cook next meal, clean up ad infinitum. And by cleaning up I mean putting stuff in the dishwasher and scraping food off the floor, highchair etc so not even making the house look presentable just trying to stop descent into squalor.

Oh yeah and don't forget actually try to work as well. DH is doing 50% of childcare so pulling his weight and is really happy and cheerful. I feel absolutely suffocated and would quite like to scream right now.

Would anyone else like to join me in a nice scream?

[rabbitheadlights]

@Fanciedachange1 it is my mission to ensure I do not inflict one of those on any future DIL my boys WILL NOT think that the fairies do the cleaning repeat to self they will not!! @Handsoffisback there is 11 months and 2 weeks between them and 24 months between the 3 and yr olds

[Maybelatte]

Yeah, I think I say this to DH at least once a week. It just feels never ending and I don’t particularly gain any joy from chores. When the DC are at school I can manage it because I obviously have time on my days off work to catch up and it stays tidy for a while until they return. Right now though I just feel like giving up most days.

[rabbitheadlights]

14 months not 24

[PlanDeRaccordement]

When ours were in high chairs, I got one of those plastic, felt backed picnic table cloths and put it under the high chair to catch food spills. It is easier to just fold & reuse all day and then clean each evening to hang dry overnight. Keeps the floor clean.

It is an endless cycle of cleaning. But with four, I did start them young on having jobs to do to help DH and I. We wouldn’t try to clean when they’re all in bed- that was my DHs and I time to ourselves. We’d just be like little army ants and go from room to room with everyone doing something. Say living room- kids pick up all the toys and put them away with DH organising and supervising, and then I’d hoover while they bounced on the sofa and “fluffed” pillows and checked behind cushions for missing socks, Lego pieces, biscuit bits, etc that were given to DH to sort. They loved to bounce from sofa to sofa to chair acting like my hoover was a monster they had to avoid. DustIng- give everyone a dusting cloth and we’d all dust. Big people up high, little ones down low. DH the lamps and electronics.
Kitchen- one to wipe table,counters, fridge and cabinet fronts, I’d sweep with one to hold dustpan, DH to do dishes with two with dishtowels to dry and put away.

[rabbitheadlights]

@Handsoffisback we honestly repaint the lounge once a months because of little Picasso's on the walls

[Atthebottomofthegarden]

Any recommendations for robot vacuums, anyone? There is a massive price variance between different brands.

I’ve been fantasising about getting one.

One DD12, she’s not too messy as such but she Just. Can’t. Put. Anything. Away. Ever. No matter how often I nag. Aaaargh.

[FromTheAllotment]

I’m in for a nice therapeutic scream.

Ages 7 and 4 here. They’re okay at tidying the main toys which have a specific place and a home to go to. It’s all the scraps of crap they create and accumulate during the day that get me down. DD writes pretend party invitations or makes herself a “hairband” or DS accessorises his train set with some random thing I didn’t throw away fast enough. And so at the end of the day there is a new random lot of stuff which doesn’t have a home but I’m not allowed to throw it away.

Oh and yes to socks, sand and crumbs everywhere. I never get as far as doing much cleaning other than washing up and vacuuming. I could teach DS to write his name in the dust I suppose...

[Mesomeplace]

I used to feed my twins in the garden. Used IKEA high chairs so easy to clean. And no mess in the house. Helped me with this problem as it used to drive me insane

[Handsoffisback]

Bloody hell rabbit how did you find those age gaps? Totally derailing the thread but honestly I’m in awe!

[Mesomeplace]

Feed them in the garden that's what I do with my 4

[rachael12345]

Me too me too. God im going insane with all the tidying and sweeping . 1 and 5 here. Serious filth. I'm afraid I just can't leave it there to build up - slipping on bits of pear yuck. Garden a building site too so all that's coming in as well - I have a vino at 4/ 4.30 most days and that really keeps the rage at bay. It builds over a few days at a time - basically until.i escape for several scheduled early morning walky runs. The schedule is my saviour - for an hour after lunch everyday dh helps with some sort of chore. Once a week I properly hoover and mop when dad does 'forest school' and I yet a livid if peace alongside all the chores - defo thinking again about robotic vacuum. ..
On Saturdays prior to lockdown I alwats made sandwiches evening in advance to ease weekend jobs and faciliate more easily getting out somewhere .i did this last night abd it defo helped in terms of mess and stress. Think we'll eat them outside too so pigeon can tidy up... may also use paper plates

Also pizza one night abd fish and chips another now that these have opened up- strictly no plates .

[SnugglySnerd]

I feel your pain! I have a 6 year old and 3 year old twins. Dh and I both wfh. Ds broke the TV today (threw a wooden toy which hit it). We are watching it with a big black and white rectangle across it.
That's still not as bad as 5l of olive oil though!

[Ilovethekittehs]

I just bought the cheapest roomba from Amazon (little vacuum thing) and it's honestly saved me so much time. If you have a spare £100, I would seriously recommend.

[rabbitheadlights]

@Handsoffisback just crack on to be honest good days and bad days wether you have 1 or 7 you just get on with it. When I had 3 was just as hard as having 7, cos when your in it so to speak it's just hard

[BogRollBOGOF]

DSs 9&7. The 9yo has dyspraxia and autism and I feel like we're still BLW 9 years on.

Yesterday we had a half an hour's stand off including panic attacks because I made the mistake of walking into the bathroom and insisting that the DCs remedy it with the Dettol spray and Toilet Duck. I only use my ensuite as the other toilets rapidly get too grim. The rule is that if I end up having to clean a crusty toilet seat, I confiscate it for a week and they can take their gross, prolonged dumps on cold, hard porcelin.

[Scbchl]

It is really hard when they are so young. I'd say it's likely just the last year my house is now always pretty tidy compared to when they were little. I do still need to tidy to keep on top of it each day but irs a once a day tidy and then just dishes and tidying kitchens and table after meals. Rather than endless all day. Mine are 15, 10 and 7. It must be really hard in lockdown with no let up or break from the monotony of it all.

[mathanxiety]

AudTheDeepMinded stop mopping up your boys' pee.

Go into the bathroom after each one has peed and make them clean it up themselves.

Or put each one on pee mopping duty for a week. Make them mop up after each other.

You will be surprised how quickly they learn to pee straight when they have to clean up their own or their brothers' pee.

If you're not happy with the results make them do it again.

The alternative is to insist they all sit to pee.

There is no excuse for getting pee everywhere.

[rabbitheadlights]

AudTheDeepMinded stop mopping up your boys' pee.

Go into the bathroom after each one has peed and make them clean it up themselves.

Or put each one on pee mopping duty for a week. Make them mop up after each other.

You will be surprised how quickly they learn to pee straight when they have to clean up their own or their brothers' pee.

If you're not happy with the results make them do it again.

The alternative is to insist they all sit to pee.

There is no excuse for getting pee everywhere.
^^This with knobs on!!

[LittleTopic]

I have a one year old and a husband who seemingly uses every pan in the house to cook one meal.

Today I came home from work to find one wall covered in carrot and half an orchard in the kitchen sink

[Bluewavescrashing]

My DCs are 9 and 6 now. It's easier in a way because they CAN clean up, but it's so painful trying to CONVINCE them to clean up that actually it's worse. Because I know they are capable.

[rabbitheadlights]

@Bluewavescrashing I had this with 11yr and 7yr ds's the other day and all of a sudden .. to the DP in earshot of the offender's "meh you know what I can't be bothered to pay the Xbox live membership this month, cos the boys can't be bothered to tidy up" .. worked a charm

[Sparrowlegs248]

3 and 4 yr old here, and single, and WFH (part time thank heavens). My house is an absolute mess.

As you say, food prep, cleaning up, walk into other room and WTAF has happened in here? 3 yr old can't be in a room without throwing cushions, throws etc all over the place. I tell him, make him put them back etc numerous times a day. Makes no difference. I wonder if I should lighten up about it but my god it just adds to the mess.

Set up a craft activity this afternoon. 3 yr old god fed up and wandered off after 10 minutes. 4 yr old saw it through. I then had 30 minutes of tidying away and hoovering bloody glitter up. Went into front room, 4 yr old had got sone rice cakes without me realising and crunched them into tiny bits while eating and spread rice crumbs so over the place. In between toys and the ever present cushions. So yeah, I need a scream.

[VaTeLaverLesMains]

When mine were little (4 under age 6) I threatened to get a wet room in the dining room so I could swill it out after meals.

They now clear up meals and bring dh and me a coffee after.

OP, you sound like you've got a sense of humour. You will get through this. Don't try too hard, don't beat yourself up. It's only squalor...

[Mixingitall]

Put the high chair outside and let the birds clean up for you! When mine were little from May- September they are outside when the sun was shining.