AIBU for traffic :)
Last year I failed a very important exam.
Over the course of the last 10 years I have done hundreds of exams. I rarely fail, in fact I usually do well in comparison with my peers. This exam is the last hurdle to get me where I want to be. The exam also only happens once a year and there is no appeal process. I've sacrificed so much on it that the thought of screwing it up fills me with so much dread. A couple of days ago they published a date for this year's exam. When I saw the date and tried to look at the information my heart rate increased 4 fold, I am shaking and I can feel the adrenaline pumping. It was the same last year, which could explain why I failed; I just started operating at 1 million miles per hour and I don't think I even read the questions properly, I was just so concerned about finishing on time in a panic. It was months of operating like this, in my personal life as well - I was impatient and rushing everything. Waking up at 5 am, thinking about my next task, rather than focussing on what was in front of me at that moment constant fear and anxiety.
I need to break this cycle. I can't even look at the timeline or information nevermind proper studying without this awful dread.
How can can I help myself ? Free myself from that panic when it sets in ? Slow down?
Has anyone else had a simular experience that I could draw from?