AIBU to tell a new intern they talk too much?

[suspiciouscowboy]

I am a very busy person and I have taken on my second ever intern/employee. They are really sweet and greatful for the opportunity and we pay them above living wage. Their placement is online and we communicate over zoom.

They had their first day on Friday, just a half day to get them started and they just talked so much. I ask a quick yes and no question and they give me a three minute answer. I have tried to tell them that we have alot to get through and don't have alot of time and they just don't get the hint.

I asked them if they were happy taking their break from 12.30-1.30 and I got a life story about their lunch breaks. They are very chatty and I just don't have the time. I tried to interupt them saying we have to move on, but they carried on anyway. I tried to not respond to their descriptions and it was just too much. It was meant to be a training session but I didn't even get time to start the training session because my introduction and admin session that should have taken 20m somehow ate up 2h.

They start conversations which lead in a direction which is off focus to my plan but I feel rude if I don't answer. They are just curious.

My blood is starting to boil and I feel incredibly drained after every conversation. I have two days of training on Monday and Tuesday full of me asking them questions and I dread it. My previous intern just asked a normal amount of questions and we got on wonderfully. How would you deal with this. I would say I was inpatient but not to an extreme level. I always answer questions in a condensed way to make sure I don't bore the other person, so I am aware when others don't.

How do I deal with this, AIBU to tell them that they talk too much and how would I do this?

Is there anyone else who can talk to the intern and explain that you're a really to the point person and don't like waffle and chit chat? That way the other person looks like they're giving the intern a heads up and you're not being rude.

Is it not possible that it's lockdown related due to being deprived of other company?

Just say at the start of the day you’ve a lot to get through, so you’ll have to keep chat to a minimum? Repeat at the start of further seasons if necessary.

*sessions not seasons!

Yanbu say it early before it gets under your skin. It might be nerves but someone will say it at some stage, best coming from their mentor.

“I’m going to cut you off there, name, and move onto the next item.”

Rinse and repeat.

You need to learn how to manage and direct the conversation. Do you not normally lead meetings? The best tip I heard for moving stuff on was to say "can you keep that in mind for Q&A at the end" and point at the next step on the agenda.

Sounds like a nightmare. I am sure people with actual advice will be along but I would say that you should tell them, in a nice but clear/firm way, that they talk too much - if you don't they will just continue. Once you have told them, If they continue to talk excessively you will just have to interrupt bluntly in the middle of them speaking 'stop talking now, you have gone off topic and we are short on time'.

If they’re an intern I’m guessing they’re quite young/junior in their career so the babbling might stem from nerves, or a misguided desire to impress and show they’re listening and learning. I think it’s fine to cut in and kindly but firmly say we don’t have the time to go into that topic/area right now. Maybe you could try reiterating at the start of your time together that you’ve got a lot to get through so maybe you could do questions at the end as it may be answered in the next section anyway.

If you do give that feedback, maybe frame it a bit more constructively than just ‘you talk too much’ as they might take it personally, you could say something like ‘I’ve noticed you’re really enthusiastic and interested about the work we do which is great, but sometimes time is of the essence and it’s not possible for us to spend more time on x or y than I’ve allocated, so we need to condense any questions or comments. I don’t want to dissuade your interest and of course want you to ask when you don’t understand something fully, but we do need to balance that with the time available.

If this person is a genuine intern, i.e. they are very new to the workforce and still learning workplace norms, I’d give them the benefit of the doubt and treat it as a teaching opportunity. Have a chat about how important it is to take cues from the person they are speaking with, to actively listen, and adjust their communication style accordingly. If they respond well to this and change their approach - great! If not then you can start treating it as a performance issue, and deal with it as such.

But do bear in mind it might be either initial nerves, or lockdown related cabin fever leading to garrulousness. I’d be inclined to indulge it slightly more than I would in other circumstances.

Just firmly stop and redirect. 'Can I stop you there and get back on topic'. Could you give them a schedule of training before so you can keep reminding them to keep to point.

They sound too talkative and you sound taciturn to say the least- so it's never going to be a meeting of minds.

Tell them you have a lot to get through and need to focus.

“OK, we need to get back on track.”

“OK, what’s next on my list?”

etc. etc.

You’re in charge. Be in charge.

They may be just overly nervous/anxious with it being their first day in a new job, and they’re having to adjust also to communicating via video.

But I agree with PP who say you need to nip it in the bud - it’d drive me mad too.

Why not say at the start of the conversation that you only have x minutes available and then, half in jest but wholly in earnest, say something like “so I’ll just interrupt you if you prattle on too much! You have been warned 😁😁”

Give them a print out of the session broken into timed sections. Say 15 minutes each. Poor you they sound like a nightmare.

I am very young and they are actually a few years older than me, but have recently graduated from University.

I am usually a very chatty and talkative person, but not in this case. It feels like a very one sided conversation. Not alot of back and forth. I feel out of control so the conversation so don't want to encourage it and don't feel my usual chatty self

Thank you for all your tips its much appreciated.

@OldGranvilleHouse thank you I may do this!
@Sparklesocks
you give very tactful advice thank you! I will be using this.
@Pollypocket89

I expect it is lockdown related but still want to nip it in the bud