I need a new hand dealt!

[Ginpoodle]

Hi, first post in a very long time, but I feel that you chaps are the straight and narrow I need right now.

I Iove the man I married, we have 2 kids and been together nearly 20 years. We have an age gap just under 15 years and I am starting to reassess my life right now, verging on forty and the stress of lockdown is obviously not helping. But I’m starting to realise my hb lacks empathy and is belittling (not always been that way) but safe to say grumpy old man syndrome is making an appearance and it’s not all the time. I’m not going to leave him when the going is good it’s awesome and when it’s bad I can handle it not looking for fairy tales.

However classic situation where he’s holding the cards, and I’m holding the baby’s. I’m over weight, not working, struggling through a degree and basically blowing in the wind lacking purpose and forward motion.

So I’m going to aim for an almighty glo up, simple things to start drink more water, push myself to excercise and concentrate on school work. I have the distinct fee Ilona if I hadn’t let myself get in to such a dependant position this petulant brat behaviour wouldn’t be around.

So I ask if you have any tips or hacks for polishing ones cards they have been dealt? TIA

sorry op dyson is bullying you, i've reported.
sorry to hear things are a bitup in the air at the moment, ignore shitlike the first posting and start to make small changes to life that make you feel happy and positive about yourself.

Have you tried talking to him when things are calm?

Ignore Dyson

Secondly, it’s really hard to recommend suggestions, because I think what you are looking for is meaning and apart from family that is honestly found inside you. That’s where I think glowing comes from.

Are you interested in any sort of yoga, meditation, philosophy? You might have a look in the library and see if anything takes your fancy. The Power of Now book is always a winner and what I like to call the “gateway drug” for spirituality 🤗

Dyson is taking an opportunity to kick someone when they're down. Making mean anon internet comments speaks volumes

I'm not very good at that sort of thing myself, but I do find that if I can push myself to do one thing in the day, it's easier to do more. Set yourself tiny goals to begin with. Wishing you luck.

I think that little things can make you feel better. For me, doing my nails occasionally makes me feel "pretty" (& much easier than dieting!)

Have healthy snacks between meals. Make 10:30 the time every day for a piece of fruit or make 3pm carrot stick time. You'll soon feel the benefit.

For school work, set a timer so you work for 30 minutes then have a cuppa or whatever (& repeat) so that you aren't tempted to procrastinate by doing the chores or calling great auntie Mabel or planning a holiday or ordering the food shop etc. 30 minutes of solid work is more productive than 3 hours of dithering and distractions.

Maybe get dressed up and have a date night with your DH? Lots of online pub quizzes you could do or you could do a picnic in the garden - something where you are doing something nice. It's easy to get fed up with anyone after seeing them every day for weeks on end, so understandable you may both be getting grumpy with one another.

I know in your post you say that you aren't planning on leaving, but I would also suggest starting to stash a little bit of money aside just in case. If things deteriorate, you don't want to be stuck in an unpleasant situation because you can't afford to leave.

Good luck!