What age do DC stop wanting affection?!

[User68953378975]

My older DC (9,12 & 14) don’t like being touched or cuddled anymore. My youngest two (18 months & 3) want cuddles and affection all the time. Am I doing something wrong or is this normal for older DC?

My teens went through a stage around 11-13 when any kind of physical affection made them uncomfortable but now a few years on I'm finding they crave affection & a bit of coddling more than my younger ones.

My 21 year old still likes a cuddle as does my 18 year old

My DD1 aged 16 has gradually wanted less over the last 6m or so, my DD2 at nearly 14 still loves a cuddle. My DH is still very cuddly with his DM, me not so with my DM.

My 16 year old son has just come in for a hug,its strange now ashe towers over me,he has always been very huggy.My 18 year old would be less huggy,but shes always been that way.

I have never wanted cuddles from anyone, even as a small child my parents tell me I hated being touched. DS is more cuddly but respects my space - he has always been aware that I will hug him and comfort him, but the physical comfort has a time limit before I become uncomfortable myself. I have never rejected him though, I tolerate it. It could be that your older children are just not huggy people and feel more able to express that now. My parents and sister are all much more touchy feely than me!

My 9 year old would sit on me half the day if I let her.

I always hated being cuddled, even as a child. I’m similar to previous posters in that it completely made me cringe. I don’t ever hug my family. My mom and sister in particular are quite huggy and sometimes feel sad that I don’t want to hug them. Mom says I was like it as soon as I could express myself! I’m not like it with my own children though, I hug my four year old as much as I possibly can and he’s very affectionate towards me. My twelve year old has never been very affectionate but quite clingy in other ways. I’ll only really hug him if he’s upset over something but it doesn’t last very long because he never sits still.

My dd is almost 12. She is still cuddly but far less so than a couple of years ago. Perhaps your 9 yo is copying the older two. Doesn’t it depend on the family and child?

DS14 still gets tucked in at night. No idea why its not stopped yet, probably because he's still ok with it.

DS9 is still the type who'd sleep in my bed every night given chance, so I think he'll be cuddly a while longer.

DS14 stopped wanting 'public' fuss and hugs a while ago - it's pretty normal, but I can't imagine ever not hugging my parents so hope that our DC will always hug us.

It depends on the child.
One of mine only really wanted cuddles as a young one if they were hurt, ill or me picking them up meant they could get to something they otherwise couldn't reach.
My nearly 13yo is still very huggy as long as friends aren't around.

I was never an affectionate child. Even as a toddler I (according to my mum) wouldn’t cuddle for long.

My eldest boys are 11 and still very cuddly. I had one of them snuggled up to me until just now when I sent him upstairs to clean his teeth. Even my 19 year old stepson will snuggle up occasionally.

So it’s the individual child IMO!

I think what shifts as they become teens is that it is on their terms.

Small children are dogs. Teenagers are cats.

My almost 11 year old son still wants hugs and kisses.

My just turned 13 year old daughter sort of backs off, this started about 1.5 years ago. But she’ll give hugs when she’s thankful for snacks, or deeply upset about something. She was the most tactile,child imaginable once !

Ds 12 still wants a hug most days - but now always at his instigation, not mine. Definitely only when we are alone as it’s not cool.

My.3 (11,9&4) all love a cuddle , my husband isn't massively cuddly with.the.children.he's just.not.that.kind of.person and never has.been , I think some people don't like to be hugged all the time and that's ok .. I'm a hugger.though , I hug everyone .. Just not at the moment ! X

Your kids are all at an age when they don't need "Mummy" treating them like a toddler - even lots of toddlers don't like being kissed, cuddled, hair-ruffled - learn to respect your children's private space - the best "cuddle" is when you know you can go to someone who will give it without a valuation.