To not tell my dh?

[greatponderings]

I'll keep it short, I'm married and very happy. Married just under 10 years (in late 30's) with 2dc
I had a guy who I knew (not romantically) as a teenager contact me, as he has done in the past. (Like maybe once every 3/4 years) We have had conversations about how we are, family updates etc etc all very platonic. Anyway...recently he contacted me (messenger) we had a chat and in this chat he declared his love for me. I didn't really react I kind of brushed it off as such and answered a previous question. My question is should I tell dh...I don't know why but it's bugging me as I don't keep secrets from him so for my benefits want to say it to him? But what use would it be to him as such? He's not the jealous type at all...he'll probably say "ah well, I knew you were great that's why I asked you to marry me" or something similar.

This guy also does not live in the same country as us so he wouldn't be someone we would bump into...

What would you do? Tell DH or not??

I think you should tell him because if he finds out somehow in the future it could be damaging. You've nothing to hide and you wouldn't want him to doubt that by finding out himself.

I probably would tell my DH, yes.

But obviously I'd cut contact with the guy.

I'm another who would tell. I can't see any way that it coming out later could be better than you being up front now

Thank you, yes this is what I'm thinking!

I would tell DH but in the kind of way he knows you have no feeling for this guy ,
" ooh xxx messaged me the other day and told me he had a crush on me , silly bugger "

I’d tell, especially if he’s not the jealous type, it’s clearly very innocent so there’s nothing to hide. I think if he somehow found out at a later date it could cause damage to the trust in your relationship.

ooh xxx messaged me the other day and told me he had a crush on me , silly bugger

He didn't though. He told her he's in love with her.

If she's going to tell the truth, there's no point in half-truths or making things up, especially if he asks to see the message.

I would, my DH would answer much the same as yours. I've had other men try it on before and I've always told him to keep him on his toes as we trust each other. Better to say now than something comes out later as surely it looks worse if you haven't mentioned it?.

Tbh, I'd probably not tell DH (he doesn't know half the stuff I chat to friends about cos it's private) but I would reply to friend saying you can no longer continue chatting as you feel it would be inappropriate.

I would tell him but I wouldn't try and clumsy minimising - 'silly bugger!' - as I think that hits the wrong note. Especially now that the reasonable and dignified thing to do is to cut contact.

'DH a weird thing happened the other day. You know X? He messaged out of the blue like he always does, we were catching up and then he basically said he had feelings for me. Really awkward and weird, I didn't know what to say so changed the subject. I'm not going to answer next time though, I think that friendship's done with.'

This happened to me. I cut contact, unfriended him on fb and told my husband. It could bite you on the bum if you don’t tell your husband.

It is not really necessary to tell your Husband,unless you have this urge to do so, and you already know how your Husband would react.It's something and nothing really, only you can decide what to do.

If it won’t bother your husband, I’d tell him. If he’s likely to get irritated by it, I wouldn’t bother mentioning it but just block the guy.

It's something.... typo.

What @FizzyGreenWater said

I would tell DP, can't see a reason why you wouldn't.

I'd tell him. Very, very much so. I had a similar situation recently, and thankfully I am constitutionally incapable of keeping anything from DH, and had told him, because something's just kicked off where potentially it could have become an issue if I had not.

I’ve had a guy do that, and several guys ask me out, start getting dirty etc, I always tell me partner- he finds it funny. If I didn’t tell him and he found out his reaction would be totally different. He just jokes now where would I put them in the list if we broke up (I don’t have a list). He would be really upset if he found out and I’d kept quiet. Because there is only one reason you keep quiet isn’t it?

Definitely tell him! My EX tried calling me a bunch of times in the night a few years back, I answered on the 4/5th ring as I was concerned something may actually be wrong and he was pissed up and reminiscing so I told him to go home and hung up. I told my husband the next morning so that he knew it had happened. I felt that if I didn’t tell him, and he found out, it could look like more than it was!

Yes tell DH and then stop contact with this person. For all your sakes.

I'd tell him, and drop the contact.

I’d tell my DH, but not drop contact over a declaration of love. I’d firmly let the other man know he is permanently friend zoned.
Now, if he didn’t take no for an answer and tried sexting me or in any way completely ruined the friendship, then I would cut contact.
But it’s not something I’d automatically do.

I’d tell DH and stop all contact with him.