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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - fair access

1 reply

biggiebiggiebiggie · 10/05/2020 05:35

Ex and I have a court date coming up regarding access of our 9 month old DS. Access has been fairly non-existant and due to him turning up drunk, he hasn't seen him for 3 months.

CAFCASS have reported no concerns and they are happy with resuming access and have recommended that we start with a few hours (supervised by his parents) and build up to full days and over nights. So far so good.

Now, we both work the same three days during the week and ex has asked to have DS for 3 of our 4 days off. Obviously, I'm not pleased with the thought of putting him to bed and only seeing him properly once a week but understand he should be spending as much time as possible with his dad.

After a chat with my solicitor, I thought it could be an idea for him to have two set days during the week and alternate Sundays. Due to Corona our hearing is over the telephone and as we can't attend, what would be the usual one hour of mediation before the hearing, she advised me to email him my proposal so he had some time to mull it over and that she believed it to be fair. Brilliant.

Ex has gone off on one and pretty much sent me a load of the usual, keeping my son away, you're a shit mum abuse as a reply so I'm assuming he doesn't think my proposal is as fair as I did.

So Mumsnet, am I being the wanker or is he?

What do you think would be considered as fair and the best for our boy?

What would a judge see as fair?

I'm open to any suggestions people may have.

Apologies for another fair access post but I'm at a loss.

OP posts:
KellyHall · 10/05/2020 05:40

As your solicitor has said, your suggestion IS fair. Don't get sucked in by your ex being an arsehole, throwing his toys out of the pram to try and get his own way. You provided him with the information ahead of going to court which is all you needed to do, now just ignore him until you have to communicate at mediation.

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