Wibu to do this?

[Lemononachair]

I have a close friend who is a professional photographer and just before lockdown she finally managed to get a new studio space to work in which she was very excited about as she’s wanted one for ages. Has now got more room for her props/lighting set up etc. She does ‘boudoir’ type glamour shoots mostly, illusion nudes sometimes but nothing pornographic or too racy.

She has asked in the past if I would let her photograph me so she can try out some of her new set up. I have always said no as I am quite shy and not confident in my body at all although secretly I would really love to do it because her work is amazing and I know the pictures would come out really nice.

Being in lockdown has given me a lot to think about recently, I have a milestone birthday coming up and I’m 99% certain I won’t be able to do anything to celebrate it which is really sad as I love doing something special for my birthday. I decided that this is probably my best shot at getting some beautiful pictures of myself in which I will look my best and be something nice to look back on, especially since I’m not getting any younger. I feel sure it would give my confidence and self esteem a real boost to see myself looking as good as I know she can make me look and it would coincide nicely with my birthday.

Only thing is, being as she is struggling for clients at the moment, she has said that I can have the shoot for free but only if she can use the photos in her website/social media/portfolio, which is totally fair enough as she has had this arrangement with other models in the past. I don’t have a problem with this. I’m just wondering if I would regret it if I go ahead. It’s one thing to have private pictures but another to have them on social media. Would I be humiliating myself?

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace
Fine but I don't think stockings, suspenders and basque are a good look when you're commenting on the school's PTA group page about your child's homework.

Each to their own.

In the past I would have but I think it would be frowned upon in the profession I'm joining next year if clients or employers found out.

To the people saying ask her to obscure your face

That's not going to make a great example of the photographers work.

Plus, if she put an ad in the newspaper/on SM, most people would bight her hand off for free professional photos without having faces obscured.

Can you pay and then retain the privacy?

If she's struggling for clients at the moment then the decent thing is to pay her?

@Sameold2020

Fine but I don't think stockings, suspenders and basque are a good look when you're commenting on the school's PTA group page about your child's homework.

OK. But personally I'd be more interested in what contribution she was making to the homework discussion

Each to their own.

Always. Tis what makes the world go round

But personally I'd be more interested in what contribution she was making to the homework discussion

Hell no, I'd be judging her on her "look at meeeee" public picture!!!!

I wouldn't want photos like that of me on social media. As you are friends and it's a big birthday would she do them at mates rates? That way she gets more experience and you get the photos for yourself.
Or perhaps you could wear one of those beautiful venetian masks for the publicity shots.

She may be the OP's friend, but she's also a business woman. If she's gone to all the time and effort to take photos that she as a photographer feels best represents her work, will she care about what the OP thinks?

Good question. I would hope that if OP hates them because they're actually bad photos and not at all what she would have expected, the friend would not charge her. If they were perfectly acceptable and OP bottled out of publicising them for personal reasons then of course the decent thing would be to pay her friend for her work.

Hell no, I'd be judging her on her "look at meeeee" public picture!!!!

Unfortunately I wasn't put on earth with the power of judgement. My judgement will be dished out by someone much more important when I knock on heaven's door

Pay her / ask for a mates rate deal but there is no way on Earth would I agree to have them in the public domain.

To be honest, I couldn't judge her anyway. I compete in an event which revolves around "look at MEEE" (for ten minutes a year); I'd be ever so slightly hypocritical to diss someone else for it.

Tbh I’ve never seen a bad picture she’s taken, they are all amazing. She also has a very good eye for styling etc which I why I believe she has the best chance of anyone of making me look half decent. She herself would only want to put up the best examples of her work online so anything that makes the cut I can be confident would look ok.

I wouldn’t be fully nude, maybe in underwear or ‘illusion’ nudes but I like them because they look artistic and classy rather than porny. Like a PP said, she did some shots fully in the dark with UV lighting and paint that almost looked like abstract art and were beautiful.

I really don’t care what my work collegues think, I don’t have most of them on social media anyway and it’s a very relaxed workplace. I don’t work in a customer facing role, with children etc. I probably wouldn’t have the pics as my profile pictures, if I ask my friend not to tag me in them they wouldn’t even show up unless you searched her actual business page.

I’m more concerned about looking sad and tragic as if I’m trying desperately to cling to my youth at my advanced age.

The obvious way around it is to pay for them, as many have suggested. Unfortunately I really can’t afford to do this, I was on NMW anyway and the 20% drop in salary due to furlough has put me even more below the poverty line. I would feel like I’m taking advantage of all the work and effort she puts in to ask for freebies/reduced rates. So it’s really a case of either she can use the pics or I just don’t do it.