Hi everyone.
I have MH issues, BPD etc. I am married and have 1 son aged 11 yrs.
I fell pregnant with my son by accident, wasn't sure whether to proceed, but thought it might be my only chance to have a baby.
I had a nervous breakdown when he was 3 yrs old. I got him into a local childminder, whose children went to the nursery/school. She wasn't just a random woman. He had a great 3.5 yrs there. Lots of kids, activities, made best friends, she was a lifesaver. When he left, I got him an XBOX and he started to play with boys from school etc, which is great. He has a good group of friends and an extended family through my husband. He has 3 cousins who are the same as siblings. I've always done my best for him, love him and put him first. I'm proud I have accomplished this.
He has been accepted into the secondary school his friends are going to, so it's perfect really.
I have severe anxiety. At the moment I am struggling with thoughts of cancer and death. At the end of 2018 I missed a couple of periods. In 2019 I had a couple of months where I had strange mucous at ovulation. My cycles getting slightly shorter, lighter.
Had a scan a couple of weeks ago, which showed nothing. I've started bleeding a lot, been given Cerazette to calm down bleeding. Sonographer, said no obvious cause for bleeding. 3 GPs have said they dont think I have cancer, it's just perimenopause. A GP has emailed a gynae to ask his opinion to put my mind at rest, no other reason. Convinced I've got womb cancer, missed it and will die.Worried scan was done wrong.
My son triggers me terribly, not his fault. I just want to leave and go to my dads house to get away. My husband is working from home, so my son will be looked after. I just want some peace. My dads house is a 5 min drive.
I dont want my behaviour to impact my son.
I'm on medication etc.
Just needed to get that off my chest, sorry.