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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think it's impossible to do most things with a baby in a sling?!

95 replies

Aberforthsgoat · 09/05/2020 11:23

Everyone I know with babies says they just pop baby in a sling and crack on as normal
Am I the only one who doesn't seem to be able to manage this?
I can't easily bend down with him attached to me, can't move normally due to having to protect his little head from getting whacked or bumped, can't really spray cleaning products around as they'll be all around his head...the only.thing I manage to do is a quick tidy and hoover...
Also now he's a bit bigger at nearly five months my back is killing me. How people do it when they're even older I have no idea!
He's in a jersey stretch sling at the moment, we have an ergo which is better for my back and protecting his head but he hates it because he can't see out easily.

I'm having one of those days where I'm finding it hard to have a baby attached to me 24-7 can you tell?

OP posts:

CaramelWaferAndTea · 10/05/2020 09:59

Sling is for the fourth trimester primarily. I did everything bar chemical cleaning with baby attached until 4mo. Now he’s very heavy at 11mo we rarely use it, it’s all a transition. High chair plus wooden spoon good for this age!

myself2020 · 10/05/2020 10:01

@caramelwaferandtea slings work well beyond the 4th trimester! and you can’t leave a child in a highchair unsupervised, so its not a real alternative (except if you have one in each room)

60sPony · 10/05/2020 10:06

I’m 5”2 and had a chubby long baby and could never get along with a sling/ carrier! We were just the wrong proportions for it I think...

OverZoomed · 10/05/2020 10:07

A high back carry (I used a mei tai, couldn’t get on with wrapping) allows you to do most things, though you do need to bend from the knees rather than the back.

Bedroomdilemma · 10/05/2020 10:09

Yes, find sling fantastic for 4th trimester (can cook, carefully and tidy a bit but never the laundry), after that I’m able to leave babies for increasing amounts on playmat, bouncer, high-chair and cot for naps. If they’re always in the sling the latter in particular is hard to get them used to.

Hollywhiskey · 10/05/2020 10:12

I have an eight month old who has pretty much lived in her sling. She's even been around soft play; up climbing frames and down slides as my toddler was only 20m when she was born. She has never napped in a cot.
I have a baby Bjorn and ergo baby. I like carrying her on my back now she can sit up but like right now she's on my front.
You need to squat down rather than bending forward, from your knees not your hips. After that it's in the fit of the sling for you and yoyr baby.

Loopyloopy · 10/05/2020 10:12

At 5 months mine were too big and heavy for a stretchy. They went on the hip in a ring sling, and on the back shortly after. And yes, there's a lot of things you can't do - but it gets them out of the way, so you can do the other things when baby is asleep/ playing/ being held by someone else.

Babyboomtastic · 10/05/2020 10:16

I use them more than daily with a 1 year old and nearly 3 year old. Yes, as they get bigger doing chores with them on the front is harder, so back carrying (or side carrying) is definitely a better option. I limit bending with baby/toddler in my back because I have dodgy knees, but otherwise can do most things. I can certainly change my baby's nappy whilst back carrying my older child (or vice versa) do basic tidying, hoovering, cooking, craft with toddler etc. Sometimes I have one on the front and one in the back and that's manageable too for shortish periods for me, with a combined child weight if 23 kg, as you build up with time and don't notice it so much.
Definitely would suggest a sling library consultation to do some back carrying (not in your stretchy - they aren't safe for it)

PumpkinP · 10/05/2020 10:19

I hate slings. They seem so popular online but I just couldn’t get on with them and irl I rarely see anyone wearing one. I tried to have a sling and a single pram when I had two a year apart, but I quickly got a double buggy as I just found it really uncomfortable having a baby strapped to me and bending down to pick things off the bottom shelf etc.

ChristmasCarcass · 10/05/2020 10:28

Stretchy wraps don’t really work past 3-4 months IME. We struggled on to 6 months and really should have swapped earlier. I’m short and really didn’t get on with the Ergo - it hurt my back. Sling library is definitely the way forwards.

I ended up with a Manduca. I can still carry DS3 in it now when I need to - he was poorly a couple of weeks ago and really clingy, so I stuck him in it to take him to the doctor and he cuddled up to me and went to sleep like he did when he was a baby. I can carry him for hours on my back (hiking, holidays, cross country skiing etc), he weighs less than a camping backpack would.

I agree I never got any housework done with him! I think for short people your centre of gravity is all wrong, and if you are front carrying their head is right in your way. But I could go for a normal walk in the countryside (ie somewhere non-pushchair accessible), get on and off buses and trains and up and down stairs without any faff, browse in shops with my hands free, sit on the sofa and read a book, and make my lunch without waking him up by putting him down. In one place we lived, nursery was a tube ride away (near my work), and we would never have managed that trip with a pushchair. Also great for when they are 2-3 and walking but not reliable enough to risk a day out with no other means of transporting them. A sling fits in a bag, a pushchair not so much.

ChristmasCarcass · 10/05/2020 10:37

Pumpkin I guess it depends at lot on where you live/your lifestyle. My friends who drive everywhere couldn’t live without their travel system, whereas I practically never used mine (actually sold my car last year because I was using it less than once a month so made no financial sense). I live somewhere very walkable, with great public transport, so you see a lot of people using slings around here. Practically everybody in my baby groups had one. Not instead of pushchairs, as well.

hels71 · 10/05/2020 10:39

I used a didymos wrap then a mei tai. I managed to get most things done with dd attached to me....

IndecentFeminist · 10/05/2020 10:43

I could do most things tbh. I was pretty competent by #2 and had him on my back by about 8 days old so I could bath the toddler etc.

A woven wrap or decent buckles will be more supportive than a stretchy. And back carrying is a game changer. They can see more too.

Maybelatte · 10/05/2020 10:44

Totally agree with you. It’s hard to wash up with a big baby on your front and seems dangerous to bend down to do many chores such as laundry with a baby attached to your front. It’s also like being pregnant except with an even heavier baby unless they’re a newborn.

EastMidsMumOf1 · 10/05/2020 10:48

I don't understand either OP, I have friends who can make dinner, cut the grass, run a marathon all with baby in a sling, me on the other hand can just about eat a bag of crisps!

megletthesecond · 10/05/2020 10:52

Yanbu. I was always on the toilet with IBS too so a sling was impossible.
It was ok for peeling potatoes and putting the laundry out. But I found carrying got in the way.

Andpopwenttheweasle · 10/05/2020 11:01

I'm with those who have said a stretchy at this point isn't the best, I gave mine up about 3 months as he was just so heavy it sagged and I couldn't do much with him there. I use an ergo after sling library consulting, it's the only one that doesn't hurt my back but it does hurt my friends so I think we all need different slings.
Another month or 2 you can put him on your back, if he's rolling he will be able to keep his face clear. At 21 months I can do pretty much anything with the baby slung on my back! He will fall asleep there if tired enough. Removes worries about cleaning products etc too, also a god send at Toby carvery type places (not right now, obviously)

BubblesBuddy · 10/05/2020 11:07

It’s a fad really. My DDs are in their 20s and you never saw anyone with them back then. Then about 20 years ago never putting your baby into a cot or basket became the fashion. They seemed to be attached to
Mum all the time. That works for some but when they are older my DDs were very interested in all that was going on around them. From about 8 weeks. I think my DDs wouldn’t have wanted this. It seems a bit limiting for the baby.

Phineyj · 10/05/2020 11:09

It's not just to do with how they are supported. It's physics. Regularly carrying kilos of extra weight around has a similar effect to actually putting the weight on. I know of what I speak. The first time I saw chiropractor/physio they both said 'do you carry a weight on your left hip a lot'?

All I can think is that much of this discussion must be about rather petite babies. I am quite tall but I can see this sling thing would be problematic for short people because of where the centre of gravity is. So if you are short and have a long or chunky baby that's a challenge.

LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 10/05/2020 11:09

The sling is the only place my 12 week old will reliably nap so we do love it, but I agree that there a lot of things it's hard to do with him in it. I find that squatting with the extra weight of him is really tough on my pelvic floor and perineum. Also I have short arms and find it hard to reach things around him so even standing tasks like chopping veg or washing up are much trickier than I anticipated.

CaryStoppins · 10/05/2020 11:21

@Phineyj - I'm 5'1" and had 75th centile babies, so it's not too much of an issue. I can easily carry my 28 month old still. You just need a good sling.

Camomila · 10/05/2020 11:23

I like my sling for going for walks but I struggle to bend over/bend down in it. My 12 week old is quite long and I'm 5'3 with long legs but a really short body bit.

nestisflown · 10/05/2020 11:25

Agree with back carry. Millions of women around the world have carried babies that way for centuries- and it has allowed them to take their babies to work with them while doing manual labour.

Front carry the baby just gets in the way especially if you're short. And once they get good at grabbing things at ninja speed it's downright dangerous to try cooking and cleaning in the front carry.

nestisflown · 10/05/2020 11:26

Fyi I put my 1 year old on my back in my ergo360 when I need to cook and he's just going mental running around by the oven.

Duckchick · 10/05/2020 11:52

I agree there's some things you can't do with a baby in a sling, I find anything involving lots of bending down difficult. You also need a good sling, for me I need one with a structured waist band that takes the weight on my hips.

I also adjust what i do so I do the non bending things while DC is asleep - I can bake and chop vegetables. For hanging out and sorting laundry just put the laundry box up on a chair so you don't need to bend over.

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