3 month old bad sleeping habits?

[SchofeTee]

I have a nearly 3mo (11 weeks) and every night at bed he goes to sleep like a dream. He knows the routine of bath time, then into his gro bag and feed. But he always feeds to sleep and that’s how I put him down.
He used to sleep for like 5/6 hour stretches but in the last couple weeks I am getting 3 hours then back down for 2 hours then back down for 1 hour.

Is this a sleep regression or have I instilled bad sleep habits because he falls asleep on the boob? I am going to try and stop feeding him to sleep as of tonight, I’ll walk him round instead. But just wondered if any other BF babies are doing the same thing?

He also really fights sleep in the day time. If I get a good nap in in the morning then he will really fight a nap in the afternoon. No idea what is wrong with my child haha

Your child is a baby. He does not have a eating and sleeping pattern. There is nothing wrong with him.

Why are you trying to force a child under 2 into a ridge eating and sleeping pattern?

It sounds like the 4 month sleep regregression has come a bit early to me. I personally would not worry too much about bad habits at this stage and do want you need to do to get through it e.g co sleeping and feeding to sleep if necessary.

I worked on instilling better habits at the 6 month mark and breaking sleep associations.

At 3 months awake time should not be more than 2 hours so you may want to ensure your LO is not overtired during the day and putting him down for a nap earlier. Mine was having 4 short naps at that age.

I'm not trying to force anything? I'm just saying that his sleeping patterns have gotten worse recently. If it's a normal sleep regression then fine but if it is because he is relying on me to help him get back to sleep when he startles in the night then maybe I need to teach him how to self soothe?

Nothing is wrong with your child. He's just changing his sleeping habits over time. Growth spurt/developmental "leap"/just doing something different this week! Avoiding feeding to sleep at this age is just going to mean hours of walking and crying rather than a quick snuggle and back to sleep. You're both doing fine!

There are a lot of sleep regressions, it sounds like it could be that. They don't really understand routine etc at this age, and their sleep can change frequently so I wouldn't worry. And no, it's not a bad habit to feed to sleep at that age, and fighting naps etc isn't unusual!

@SockQueen @weepingwillow22 ok this is helpful. I thought it was the case but you just read so much online! I am just fearful of doing what is easiest for me but then making a rod for my own back in the long run you know?

I was like you OP and thought I was making a rod for my own back with everything I did for DS (especially feeding to sleep). However it was by far the quickest and easiest way to get him to go (or go back to) sleep and that’s what I needed when I was so tired myself. Pleased to say he slept through as soon as he was weaned and no longer wanted feeding anymore. You’ll get there and as the others have said, 3 months is really early still and they’ll change their sleeping habits as soon as you think you’ve got it nailed!

You haven't instilled any bad habits, many babies feed to sleep. They grow out of it. Mine always used to fall asleep on the bottle.

Babies sleep patterns change regularly, and they go through sleep regression at around 4 months. 3 months is such early days, don't worry, he will settle down in to sleeping again soon.

No advice to offer as my first baby is due in Aug 😊 however an app called wonder weeks has been highly recommended to me by quite a few people now. It’s supposed to help explain the baby’s cognitive development day by day and ‘fussy phases’. Haven’t downloaded it yet as it costs £4 but I’ll definitely be giving it a try! X

OP it is entirely normal so don't worry and feeding them to sleep is a huge plus of breastfeeding. Some kids sleep and some are awful and you spend so much time on the early days stressing about sleep - just enjoy your baby, you are doing a great job and your baby loves you.

I've always fed DD (5m) to sleep. She regressed horribly at 17 weeks, went from sleeping from 11pm til 7am to waking every hour. We used the regression as a chance to get her into a proper routine of naps and an 7pm bedtime (nothing left to lose) and she took to it really well. For a few weeks she was still up three times a night but for the last week she's only been waking up once. Absolute game changer (dreading the next regression though!)

He is only 3m old he doesn't have habits let alone bad ones. I fed my children to sleep until they were 3yrs + and that didn't mean they couldn't go to sleep with dad instead (or at nursery) or that they didn't sleep well at night. It's natural for a tiny baby to feed to sleep. Keep feeding on demand

Not sure why pp accused you of forcing something ?? I assume you are a first time mum asking for advice is all :s

Anyway as others have said don’t get too hung up on a routine - they change day by day. Just go with it, keep a semblance of a routine at night - best thing is to pick a time say 8 PM and after that point the house goes quiet no play time etc.

You are doing a great job

It could be due to the 3-months grow spur. Mine (ebf) has done the same recently. He has gone from waking up once to 4 times per night. After one week of hell he is now waking up twice.
Check also the room temperature. It might be getting too warm for him to sleep properly.

Oh yes, as a PP already said, the Wonder Weeks app is quite helpful for new parents. I didn't know anything about growing spurs if it weren't for the app or MN.

Honestly do not worry, you are doing everything right and not in anyway forming bad sleep habits or associations.

Firstly as others have said. This is the start of the first big ‘sleep regression’. My first went into it at 11wks (four months just an approximation) and to warn you. The many night wakings lasted for another 11wks.

This is the age they start to biologically change and their development rapidly increases. As their brains do a lot of processing at night, they practice in their sleep and it wakes them up.
Be prepared for them to crawl around their cot and start pulling themselves up then waking up distressed because they don’t know what’s going on.

As for feeding to sleep. Carry on and don’t worry, they will wean off doing that when they’re ready.
My eldest fed to sleep every night and nap time. I couldn’t understand how anyone got a baby to sleep otherwise or how it would ever change but it did.

I was given good advice to never try to change patterns or routines in a difficult phase. You both need the consistency and quickness to get back to sleep so expect extra night feeds and just go with it until you come out of the storm.

Two things which really helped me are the schedules on the baby sleep site. I didn’t follow the routines exactly but following the timings of awake / nap helped me ensure that my eldest was getting the sleep they needed
www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-feeding-schedules/
And also this graph. It shows that babys sleep isn’t something you can really control or influence to an extent

I think you’re getting slightly ahead of yourself here - you were never going to have established any kind of sleeping pattern or habits by now. It will mostly likely be up and down for another six months if not more, especially with breastfeeding as this is ideally done on demand. Baby’s needs are constantly changing.

I’d just go with the flow, you are not making any bad habits. Sleep changes so much in the first couple of years (you will have good times and not so good times).

To me feeding to sleep is easy and natural and importantly it actually works. I wouldn’t replace feeding to sleep with walking round, that will get a lot harder to do when baby gets heavier and you could say is just replacing one habit for another.

My boy slept for 8 hours a night from 6 weeks, it was utter bliss. I remember the day he turned 16 weeks lying in bed saying to DH "this isnt too bad I would even consider another soon" that night be woke up every hour and did so for a few weeks. Gradually he slept for longer stretches but it went on for a long time! Its likely a sleep regression! Like all things in parenting it is a phase and will pass. My advoce would be do what you need to get through. If feeding to sleep gets you a few hours do it! Make this too will pass yout mantra! Good luck!

Honestly I don’t know of a breast fed baby who slept for 5 hours at that age. My 9 month old only occasional manages it.

We switched the routine to help, we started waking then feeding, playing and finally sleep.
This stopped DD feeding to sleep, took a little while to get the routine established but it did make life a lot easier
DD was bottle fed though so that might make a difference, expecting again and really want to BF so time will tell!

Selfsettling3 my 12 week old did until quite recently (he's quite chubby looking so I guess he can fit lots of milk in in one go) But now he's decided night time is practise rolling over time and constantly wakes up.

OP personally I would just do whatever is easiest until they are at least 1 because every little thing can unsettle them at this age eg, rolling, teething, sitting, weaning.

My DS was BF to sleep till he was 16 months, after that he was rocked/cuddled to sleep and tended to every time he woke up. he’s now 3.5 and consistently sleeps through the night and goes down pretty easily.
My DD is 13 months and is still BF to sleep and sleeps through 50% of the week (though that’s a very welcome recent change from nightly waking).
Both DC were/are able to be put to sleep by DH and childminders etc, but for me it’s quickest and easiest to feed them.
I hate the phrase making a rod for your own back (not a dig OP, I’ve said it to myself) but it’s basically just yet another stick to beat ourselves with and being a parent is hard enough, we don’t need to punish ourselves for every decision we make.
Also In my experience just when you think you’ve cracked something (mainly sleep) something changes; sleep regression, teething, starting childcare etc, and fucks it all up! Just got to ride the storm, hope it improves and wait for the next wave

As a general rule with babies, as soon as you get them into a "routine" things change and you wonder what on earth has happened! I guarantee this won't be the last time this happens.

A 3 month old can't have habits yet, it's going to keep changing until they're 4 or 5 years old (some kids change more wildly and noticeably than others though).
I've had 2 terrible sleepers, and I dealt with in in all the ways the "rod for your own back" people wail over. They fed to sleep, I never let them cry, they slept in my bed - all the stuff said to form bad habits. Once they'd cracked the sleeping stuff they slept just fine, I dont think it makes a blind bit of difference what you do - babies need to learn to sleep same as everything else and they'll change as they grow.