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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by dhs "little" habits?

14 replies

nurseyemma · 18/09/2007 09:47

I know I'm probably just being a bitch but I'm beginning to find the coughing/snorting/over dramatic sneezing/birping and bad table manners intolerable.

I find myself constantly biting my lip cos I know it's not fair to critisize but I feel like I'm seething inside sometimes. When he and MIL sit there eating off their knife chomping with their mouths open I feel like I'm going to explode and have to just leave the room! Is this fair or do I have to remond myself it's no big deal and learn to live with it?

OP posts:
Mossy · 18/09/2007 09:51

I think the latter, unfortunately! If his Mum does it too, I imagine he's grown up with it and it's too late to change an ingrained habit!

Why not develop some irritating habits of your own?

Budababe · 18/09/2007 09:51

Well presumably it is not something he has just started. Did you not notice when you started going out with him? If you did and married him anyway well then I'm afraid you have to live with it.

OrmIrian · 18/09/2007 09:52

I think that bad table manners are a big deal TBH. It's so easy to be considerate to others so why would you not be. Perhaps he doesn't know that it bothers you?

bossykate · 18/09/2007 09:52

you're not being a bitch, i couldn't bear this either. how utterly revolting! couldn't live with this.

Dropdeadfred · 18/09/2007 09:53

yuk yuk yuk

iwouldgoouttonight · 18/09/2007 09:54

Sadly I think its something you have to learn to live with. Infuriating though isn't it? My DP also sneezes and coughs really over-dramatically and sometimes doesn't cover his mouth, and he's also got a really annoying habit of sort of making a sort of hacking noise, as though he's trying to clear his throat but really loudly and that really irritates me! But in the grand scheme of things I've realised its best just to bite my tongue. Good idea to develop some annoying habits of your own to get him back!

Hurlyburly · 18/09/2007 09:55

There are habits that DH has that have made me grind my teeth for years. The only thing I would suggest is you can comment on things that truly wind you up and keep schtum about the others. You'll be doing the same to him, remember.

Original poster
nurseyemma · 18/09/2007 09:56

I'm sure some of it's a new thing although maybe i was too blinded by love 8 years ago to notice!! I am questionning why in the last few months I seem to find EVERYTHING so irritating.

I have commented on the table manners thing because of dd. I am v particular about them and I want her to have nice table manners to. Arghh! I just can't stand the chomping!!

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 18/09/2007 10:03

You are quite right to find your DH's bad manners annoying. It is a big deal. You need to find some way of explaining this to him. People get divorced over bad manners and generally inconsiderate behaviour.

Original poster
nurseyemma · 18/09/2007 10:18

A big part of the prob is MIL. We don't get on and we are from completely opposite ends of the spectrum, too much to go into here.

Her table manners and are appalling and her social skills are odd shall we say (now I am being a bitch). When he does something that reminds me of her I just have this inner rage! But it's nonsense of me to assume otherwise he is her son!

The worst is she's teaching my dd to say "ta" instead of "thankyou" (she's 1). The paranoid part of me thinks this is deliberate to wind me up but then I have to remind myself I really am being unreasonable>

OP posts:
joopie · 18/09/2007 11:00

I think there is only so much you can bear before you snap, my DH constantly sneezes through his mouth instead of his nose, after the 10th sneeze in a row im like a screeching banshee, screaming at him to sneeze through his bl**dy nose to get rid of the irritation.
try saying something to him before it sends your blood pressure through the roof.

also, just because the MIL has bad table manners there is no excuse for a grown man to still do it, tell him off and threaten no pudding

scattercushion · 18/09/2007 19:19

Sneeze through your nose? I've been doing it wrong all these years...

lou33 · 18/09/2007 19:23

Exh used to be a really messy eater, and his jaw clicked when he chewed, which was really loud. By the time we split i wanted to hit him in the face with a shovel at every meal time, it bugged me so much

blousy · 18/09/2007 19:41

when I first met my dh he used to do the most outrageous sneezes, with major horrors exploding from his nose so much so I couldn't risk looking at him afterwards. I have now verbally beaten this habit out of him, just have to work on trumpet nose blowing now -aargh!!
I am incredibly intolerant.

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