To feel completely lost

[bbn81]

To give you some back ground, I am a teacher in a secondary school, I have 2 DS aged 3 and 6 and my husband works in finance. Atm he is WFH full time and I am expected to set a mark work online. The boys have not been in school or nursery since lockdown. I cannot go on though. I am now desperate for schools to open. I know there are risks and watch the increase in numbers everyday. I think I have been pinning my hopes on the 1st June which is looking increasingly unlikely. I now just want to sit and cry.

What feels worse now is that yesterday there were hoards of people out on my estate partying as of there was nothing going on.

I know when schools open there will have to be changes but it feels like the discussions into what would work are not going to happen until the government set a date. But right now there is no way I can go on like this until September.

As the title says I just feel completely lost.

I could have written your post so you are not alone. My husband and I are both secondary teachers working from home with 3 DC (9, 3 and a baby). We are juggling WFH, hone schooling and caring for the younger ones as well as cleaning the house, washing etc... I have been struggling as well and was hoping 1st June at least the DC might be back at nursery and primary even if secondaries weren't back. I am the same as you, worried about the risk but also worried about all of our mental health if we carry on like this. My husband and I alternate working and looking after DC? Is that something you can do? Are doing? Are you getting a break at the weekend? We alternate a lie in at the weekend, DH will go for a run, I'll have a long bath etc... So we each get a break?

Sorry its been shit for YOU OP, its been shit for me too.

No useful advise but I'll join in with the moajing.my mental health pre-Corona was getting better after a horrific 2 years. Now I'm sliding backwards and can't see a way out.

I'm still going out to work a couple of days a week and juggling that with home schooling and trying to parent the most ridiculously clingy 2 year old. I just need a break and some time to myself. Not sure how I'm going to make it until lockdown ends to be honest, it just feels like there isn't a point to anything at the moment.

Sorry don't know why my phone capitalised the word you in my post, I don't sound like a shouty weirdo at all

I’m sorry op, having 2 young children and juggling work is shit.
We are not meant to live like this.

I hear you.

My kids are 2 and 4 and DH and I are both WFH. We're constantly arguing over whose work is more important while neglecting the children. I'm absolutely fucking sick of it. I am absolutely desperate for nursery to reopen and still dreaming of 1st June 🤞🤞🤞

I'm with you! Single parent teacher to 3 demanding (usually tolerable) boys. I'm losing my mind! I feel like the only teacher who is desperate for schools to open and am would be considered a pariah for daring to even think it.

Glad I found this post. Knowing others are holding onto the 1st June just makes me a little happier, even though I'm sure it will be all kinds of a new hell. Hope it helps knowing you're not alone OP 💐

Thank you for your responses. My husband does help out a lot and has altered his hours during the day to help. It doesn't help that my 3yo is super clingy to DH so will cry and scream if he leaves the room to go on a conference call. We do also manage a decent walk each day which I know is better than most. I think I just need some sort of end goal to aim for. I also know we are lucky in lots of ways. Doesn't stop the tear right now.

I was working from home, I locked down a bit earlier then everyone else due to Chronic Illness, i am lucky enough to not suffer from MH but I have been struggling with lockdown. I’ve stuck by the rules hoping it would all be over sooner if we comply, yet I’ve watched neighbours have visitors, meet up with friends for walks etc yet I’ve not not seen my friends and family since mid March. I took my lap top back to work the other day and decided I will work from my office just so I’m out and have some “normality” it’s close to home and it’s our own business so no one else in. I am at the point of thinking what’s the point in complying, making myself miserable while everyone else is blatantly doing what the hell they want

It's shit OP, I'm on maternity leave so luckily don't have to juggle work but that means I'm solely focused on the 2 kids (5yo and 6mo) all day every day while dh works 8-4 in his home office... which he set up in the playroom of all places!

The 5yo has been a nightmare all lockdown, behaviour is appalling and is refusing to do any schoolwork her teacher sends, while the baby is super clingy and won't be put down which makes the 5yo worse because I can't give her 100% attention. She's screaming and violent and nothing works.

I'm on a knife edge, I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with another adult without a child involving themselves or shouting/crying at me. DH is miserable and intolerable, it's all just shit. My maternity leave wasn't supposed to be battling 2 kids alone all day every day in a shithole of a house, that I can't tidy or clean because of the kids, with no escape.

The cats are so stressed by the 5yos loud and violent outbursts one has stopped eating and the other is pissing everywhere.

Tomorrow isn't going to bring any big changes, almost certainly we still won't be able to visit family and friends. Meanwhile there is a definite group of people going about as normal doing whatever they want and making sure the spread continues so the rest of us stay miserable.

We're also WFH ft with a 3 and 6yo and doing a crap job of both.

As you're a key worker, would you consider putting them back in school or nursery earlier? We both are (key workers) and we've got 1st of June in mind to do this whatever the decision is. Luckily the youngest's nursery has been open throughout.

A few people in my team have already sent their kids back or found different childcare because it's just unworkable.

I know it's hard me and DH are both self employed both non essential work so no income since lockdown we have 2 DS 15 & 16 we are struggling we are stressed but we have each other and we are alive.

This isn't forever and it will get better so stick at it OP ❤

You are ALL heroes. Little is discussed of the impact on families WFH. I think it will be children who will drive the nation out of lock down. The natural rhythm of ‘school holiday’ has concluded. I suspect teenagers especially will start to rebel.