For being fed up of the games console

[justtb]

I am now 25 and been in 4 relationships.. each boyfriend has had a beloved console! I used to think I was a reasonable girlfriend for letting them play away..

I don't know what's happened but the past few weeks I've just had enough. My DP now has a PC too and has no problem shouting away over the mic as I desperately try to hear what I'm watching. Im beyond fed up of scrolling through my phone, while he plays away. I've tried finding my own bits to do, but I like the evenings to be our time together... but this is somehow unreasonable.

Part of me thinks it's an age thing. He's 22 and men do take longer to mature than women, so I don't think that helps.

Am I horrible? I think I'd be even more annoyed if he had it in another room cos then we're really not spending time together. HELP!

I think it is an age thing (well I have found it to be)
When we were in our 20’s I remember my husband gaming a lot.
Now he’s in his 30’s and we have 3 kids he doesn’t have time to!
But i so remember at the time wondering what the fuss about gaming was, I just don’t get it 😂 why all the shouting at the tv!
Have you told him how you feel? Could you suggest he plays it during the day/time when you’re not spending together?

Fuck that.Dh was addicted to a game 2 yrs into our now 7 year relationship and it nearly broke us.Consoles are evil.

Not just a man thing, my DP gets mad at me for Xbox-ing too often.
Your DP (like me!) needs to be mindful of spending quality time with you, and you need to be mindful that this is something he enjoys so he should be 'allowed' to play guilt free sometimes.

Well, part of me thinks you actually need to find your own hobby. Why do you just sit there waiting for him?
He needs to stop shouting though!

I'm feeling the same. DP playing 7 Days to Die inducing soul destroying. I told her some things got to give and she has since realised that it was preventing her form being more productive and hasn't played in a while

My ex was a big gamer - he was in his 30s though and didn't show any signs of growing out of it. I hated it as we lived in a one bed flat and I couldn't get away from his shouting. It actually used to make me feel really anxious after a while. I never did manage to convince him to cut down on the amount of hours he would play. Not really the main reason he's an ex, but it didn't help as he was far too addicted to it and it always felt like a battle to tear him away.
Only thing I can suggest is you tell him how you feel. Is it worse because you're on lockdown? Is he more inclined to do more with you when things are normal?

I’ve threatened to cut the plug of the PS4 today. But that’s my 15yr old son, wouldn’t want to put up with it from a partner

@Cocacola12 I have told him and he got annoyed. He told me that now he feels bad for going on it and ignores his friends because of it - which I would never expect him to do. He's now said he'll sell it - which I haven't asked him to do either.
I don't think lockdown has helped one bit as I haven't been at work due to being pregnant. So I really look forward to him coming back from work. I'm sure once I feel more myself and go back it'll be different.

@00100001 I haven't been working due to lockdown and haven't felt myself as just come out of first trimester so I am a self confessed couch potato at the moment. Hoping my motivation and energy will pick up so I can do my own things

Hopefully :)

Find a good book to read, or maybe get a puzzle book or something.

I tend to find I have to put my phone/tablet upstairs to avoid gawking at it all afternoon

I have gamed for forty years and I’m not stopping.

It’s just if time is excessive and you are not doing anything together plus if you have nothing to do but watch tv that’s not good.

I gamed a lot yesterday but DH, DS and I also watched an hour of tv together and did a jigsaw puzzle all together for almost 2 hours and DH and I did the crossword as usual in the garden. So I did spend more hours gaming but he also did his own thing and we did etc together.

My partner is 30 and I'm 27 and we both love playing video games. We've been together 7 years and have a 13 week old daughter together. We used to play alot of video games together as well as our own games we liked individually. It's just a hobby we both like. Still manage to get some gaming time now when our daughter is napping or playing on her mat. We tag team lol.

I think you both should be aware of each others hobbies and respect that. You should respect that he has something he enjoys, and would like to take part in that hobby in his free time. However he also can't be ignoring you most evenings for video games. There needs to be a balance.

How about suggesting you play a game together, or you watch him play one for a bit? There's a lot of good games out there with fantastic stories, almost like watching a movie except you get to play it. That way he can do something he finds fun but you're still spending time together, having conversations, being invested in the same thing etc. Also suggest something fun that you enjoy that he can take part in so you're both invested in each others hobbies.
Hope things get sorted 😊

used to think I was a reasonable girlfriend for letting them play away

Its not up to you to "let" how another grown adult spends their leisure time. I'm not a gamer but at the end of the day its just another hobby.

Oh I love gaming, I'm the mario kart house champion. No one's ever beaten me.........I prefer the Sims / animal crossing type games and can lose the day to them. dp likes FIFA and need for speed. ( Car racing game ))

My dp has been gaming a lot recently but in fairness there's nothing else to do and I'd be a massive hypocrite if I moaned since I'm either skulking on here or on bookface.

My xh had a gaming problem. Yes they are evil and they make everyone around them evil if not managed properly. I'd not ever have a relationship with someone who had a gaming hobby ever again.

His response is really poor.
He's making you feel guilty so he doesn't have to compromise and carry on as before with no consideration to you.

I have to ignore my friends now - because of what you want.

I'll sell my beloved PC - because there's no point having it now.

Wow what a prat.

How about he could have answered.

Oh I can see I'm on it a lot. How about I do it for x amount of time between a and b. Then we can have time together.

Or

I'll arrange certain times , not every day to play with my mates.

But no let's make you feel awful instead. Nice.

Gaming isn’t the issue, excessive time spent on any hobby is the problem.

You’re not unreasonable to have a discussion around that.

Of course you’ll get the usual “games are evil” and “only children play games”.

What you need is an adult discussion around time allocated to hobbies.

If gaming isn't a large part of your life but is to your partners then why are they your partner? You could find someone who isn't I to gaming to date and then this wouldn't be an issue.

You could suggest playing two player games with him, getting involved and closer through trying to share his hobbies, co-op games like little big planet, diablo 3, unravelled, undercooked, Mario kart, even on pc there's lots of free multilayer games you two can play together.

But I'm biased as me and my partner are both gamers, it's a shared hobby as finding a partner who I could play games with was important to me, we play for atleast 4 hours most days split over pc and PlayStation.