To ask you all to help me here.

[topazdiamondsandemeralds]

I need advice.
I was raised in the UK by a white mother, though my dad is Arabic, Syrian, Turkish etc, thus making me mixed.
I have most of my father's features apart from having green eyes.
I remember I went on holiday to Turkey last year and I felt so out of place yet in at the same time, it's so weird. Just today I saw an appreciation type post for middle eastern women and I feel so whitewashed, yet like I don't belong in the UK if that makes sense.
I just wish I had brown eyes and the long wavy hair that they all have, nobody born middle eastern has green eyes, do they?
No other race has them naturally. I have so much hatred inside.
I feel too different and it's so confusing for me.
I don't know who I am.
Does anybody else feel like this?

No other race has them naturally.

I think this is untrue. Some races don't have them naturally, but I don't think non-brown eyes are a Caucasian only biological fact.

Why don't you feel you 'fit in' the UK? Did you grow up in a very rural area?

PP i grew up in a fairly middle class area in the north west. Nobody there looked like me.

I just wish I had brown eyes and the long wavy hair that they all have, nobody born middle eastern has green eyes, do they?
I think your problem is that you have a very stereotypical and not really true image of how all middle eastern women look like in your head.
I have plenty of light skinned, light hair and blue eyed, even couple of greenish eyed, family members from Middle East.

I’m not Arab but I understand that people with coloured eyes are regarded as very beautiful in the Arab world - lots of women wear coloured contacts (google it!). There are definitely Arab women with blue and green eyes naturally. Idk about Turkey. In any case, perhaps you could see it as a positive that you are a unique mix of your mum and dad. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. How old are you if you don’t mind my asking?

Women of Eastern origin definitely don't all have brown eyes. My husband's mother, aunt and sister all have green eyes.
I find it odd that the colour of your eyes made you feel so uncomfortable in Turkey. What were you hoping to feel when you were there? People of all different genetic make-ups visit Turkey in their thousands every year so I'm not sure why you felt you stood out.
I think you might need to talk this through with someone to get to the bottom of why you feel your features mean you don't fit in anywhere. What do you need to look like to fit in anyway? All my friends and I all look very, very different but all feel that we fit in where we were brought up.

My husband is Iranian and has grey/green eyes. They're lovely.

I think you're struggling with your identity and focusing on eye colour.

Actually there are a lot of Greek people with green eyes. In particular Crete is very known for a high percentage of the population having green eyes.

Sharbat Gula has green eyes. They made her famous en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afghan_Girl

A friend of mine is Egyptian and has incredible bright blue eyes.

I'm 29 PP.
I understand the PP who said that I have a stereotypical view but on the middle eastern side of my family they all have dark brown, almost jet black eyes. When I visited they said I was beautiful but that was because I was different to them. I want to fit in with my family.

Coloured contact lenses.

But having the same could eyes doesn't mean you will automatically fit in. In my family there are hazel, green, blue and very dark brown eyes. Mine are almost jet black and I'm white. My eastern husband's are hazel. It means nothing. You really seem to be focussing on looks rather than a family connection/things in common/shared fondness, etc.

I am one the only one in my immediate family that has blue eyes - I like that I am different x

There is a famous National Geographic cover of an Afghan lady with gorgeous green eyes, it was very highly commented on in a very complimentary way when it was published. Try to enjoy your looks but remember people love you for you...

Feeling like you don't fit in is usually understandable, but this huge focus on eyes is just a bit odd. It's really not that peculiar that you have green eyes, just as it's not peculiar that I have the 'dark, nearly black' eyes that your family has, despite being white. In fact, I think it's more typical to have green eyes in the Greece/Turkey area of the world than anywhere else, if I remember correctly. Is there more to this, op?

But being part of a family isn't about what you look like, it's about who you are! Your fixation on your eye colour is not going to help you feel better about any of this.

I always thought the Turkish singer, Tarkan, had lovely eyes - they’re certainly not brown. The plus I’ve seen a lot of images of Syrians with beautiful blue eyes.

Omg Tarkan.. ohh lalala there

Somewhere on your fathers side there will be non brown eyed genes
www.news-medical.net/health/Genetics-of-Eye-Color.aspx
However I really do believe that humans would benefit on focusing on non physical traits. We are all human animals. We may all look different but that’s part of humanity’s beauty. Foremost we are all that. Human animals. Our tribe is just a banner.

Is it because people make such a big deal of nothing?

I don’t look how people perceive someone of my background should look.

Then I get told I’m not English because I’m not white.

It’s all very depressing but you just have to ignore wankers.

I'm so sorry you feel this way but I suspect your eye colour is a red herring. Family members in general don't all have identical features and when someone pays you a compliment about your appearance, it's generally just to be taken at face value.

If I say to a family member, "you have beautiful eyes", I just mean "I have noticed you have beautiful eyes and thought it might be nice for you to know that someone thinks so" not "you stick it like a sore thumb from the rest of the family, you outsider"!

I'm so sorry that you feel like you don't 'belong' to either side of your family or to either place (when in reality you belong to both). I don't have the same experience but I have some understanding of feeling like you fall down the cracks between two worlds. It's tough but you can reconcile them with time and confidence in who you are.

Is there something deeper going on that you could address? Perhaps working on building a closer bond with some of your family or your current community? I doubt that they view you the way you seem to view yourself. It may also be useful to seek out others who have similar dual heritage (there will be loads!) for their experience and guidance - which I guess is what you're staying to do here!

I really wish you well.

My parents are both Middle Eastern. Many of my cousins (full Middle Eastern) have green eyes. The odd one or two are blonde. It's not that uncommon. That's the things with the Middle East it is such a mix. My Dad for example practically has an Afro but my mum looks like Julie Andrews. Both are from the same country. Try not to overthink it.

*thing

Do you know that Boris Johnson has Turkish roots?
www.bbc.co.uk/whodoyouthinkyouare/past-stories/boris-how-we-did-it_1.shtml