To be guilt ridden about walking out during lockdown

[Tbs12]

Long time lurker, please be kind. It's heartbreaking to write this, but feel like I'm at the end of the road in marriage. OH and I both in our mid-40s, 2 kids young kids. Made decision just before lockdown, have tried everything I can think of to fix our relationship. When OH holds arms straight down when you hug them, when she hasn't kissed you outside the bedroom in 5 years, when every time you try to talk about how you feel about your relationship she walks away... you have to accept its over? I feel like I'm making everyone unhappy at home because I'm so unhappy, and that leaving is the best thing. Guilt ridden by the timing and wondering if this wonderful group of MNs has any advice ... anything I might not have thought of ... before I pack up and move out?

I'm sorry to read this. Is it really not possible for you to stay until lockdown is over?

Ultimately if you're unhappy and your partner isnt willing to atleast try, then theres no future to try for.
If you were to leave, where will you go? Is there somewhere that's safe?

When you say you've tried everything to fix the relationship - can you be more specific? Apart from trying to be affectionate to your wife when she clearly doesn't want it and telling her how you feel about the relationship - what else have you tried? Genuine question?

Her witholding affection in the way you describe suggests she also isn't happy in the relationship but do you know why? Have you asked her how she feels?

What about your two young children? Do you have a good relationship with them? Wouldn't they be devastated if you left? You say you're making everyone unhappy because you are unhappy - can you not be happy around your kids or at least get some pleasure from doing things with them at least until lockdown is over.

I don't think it's a great thing to leave during lockdown.

You are not in any immediate danger, she is.not abusive so as long as you are not abusive then why the rush during a pandemic, wait till this is over and then address your relationship Imo when she will be able to get rl support etc.

End the relationship, sure, but don’t move out as you still need to perform your parenting responsibilities and agree on what happens with the DC, money, property etc, eg through mediation.

I think if you have kids then you should try marriage counselling.

Definitely end it if it’s not right, but see a counsellor to decide for sure.