My DS was born a few months ago and prior to this I’ve had no issues with my MIL. Since we told her me and DP were expecting she became a bit overbearing (constantly referring to DS as “her” baby, talking about how she was going to have him visit her without us for weeks at a time and how she was going to stay with us as soon as he was born etc) my DP has been very good at letting her know when she was being too much and did so without me asking him too as he felt the same way as me.
Generally I have put this down to her being very excited for her first grandchild and that all the comment are very harmless however there is one thing she keeps saying that is making me quite upset. PIL live several hours away from us and so obviously see DS less than my father and step mother due to not being as close. My MIL keeps saying “it’s so hard for me to not see him all the time and he won’t know I’m his grandmother as I won’t get to spend any time with him or see him grow up.” I’m finding this very hard as my Mum passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly when I was pregnant and so obviously never got to meet DS. I had a strained relationship with her due to some issues she had but obviously she was my mum and i would’ve loved for her to see DS grow up.
Logically I know that MIL just isn’t thinking when she says these comments and she’s just sad we live so far away and the first couple of times I brushed them off as me being overly sensitive but she keeps saying them and every time she does it just makes me think that my mum will never see DS and it’s making me upset and honestly a little bit angry.
My DP has never actually heard her say this and I’ve never told him thinking it was just me being sensitive. My question is would I be unreasonable to ask him to have a quiet word with her and gently tell her to stop saying that to me? I don’t really want to ask her myself because I don’t want to jeopardise a pretty good relationship by upsetting her