Really messed up, and don’t know if I can rectify it.

[SillyMistake20]

Hi everyone, this may be a long one but I’ll try and keep it as brief as possible.

When I was 3 my mum and stepdad got married, my mum changed my name to my step dads name through a deed poll at the solicitor (no copy was ever kept, just the one that my mum was given was the only one). I didn’t find out my stepdad wasn’t my biological father till I was 15.

The surname given to me was the only name I had ever known.

Myself and my then partner had 2 children 18/16 years ago. On the birth certificate for mother’s name my name is recorded as the name on the deed poll (my stepdads name), as arguably it is my maiden name as I had not been married and I had had that name since I was 3.

My birth surname is not on their birth certificates at all, I just didn’t think when I registered them and I was young at the time. The issue is, I have lost the deed poll, and there is no other copy anywhere.

So My birth certificate and their birth certificates don’t match and there’s no deed poll to explain the name change. To complicate matters, I married a few years ago (not to their father, we were never married) so my name now is also different to what’s on my birth certificate and theirs.

I’m just worried in case they need to prove their British citizenship and won’t be able to due to my birth certificate name being different to the mothers details in their certificates.

I’ve looked at putting an amendment on their entries to say my birth name is different but I’m not sure the GRO will accept it as I don’t have this deed poll.

I’m suffering from anxiety as it is and I keep fretting about it.

Does anyone have any words of advice?

Ps, the kids do have passports, I’m thinking more in the future if they have children and my details are needed for citizenship reasons.

This lockdown has been really tough on my mental health and I’m starting to feel it now.

Try to take a breath and do something kind for yourself . Lockdown is really tough, try to look for the positives where you can and I hope everything evens out for you soon . And don't hesitate to call the GP if you feel things are getting out of your control.

Is their father British? I might be wrong but don't you only need one British parent to be eligible for citizenship.

Thank you everyone. My kids will be fine, they have British passports, it was just I’d read reports of the passport offices asking for maternal grandparent details when getting a child’s first passport. I’m sure it’ll all be fine though. Thank you again.

We all have far too much time to think these days

My mom had a similar situation as she was registered with a certain name at birth (her official name), but her mom then started using a different surname for her on everything and it was never questioned... until she applied for a passport. So her marriage certificate has her maiden name as a different surname to her birth certificate with no official name change ever taking place. She ended up having to do something like go to court and swear an oath that she really was the same person, obviously having provided all of her documents which show at a certain age during her childhood her name was recorded differently. It sorted the issue and she was given a passport. She didn’t use a solicitor, it just came up when she tried to apply for a passport and followed the advice she was given.

It seems as though you've been overthinking and panicking about future events. This lockdown is difficult for all people and more stressful for those with any mental health conditions.
I'll tell you about my situation. My son has my name on his birth certificate and his fathers name. I've remarried more than once since then. He's married now and has double barrelled his name and his wife's name. His two children both have passports and no one has ever asked to see any of my certificates or proof of who I am or who he is.
Take care of yourself in these scary times

Letter from the bank or GP confirming you have always used that name? My other half had to do that when he applied for his passport this year (and he has his deed poll!) The name change will be in your medical records and you can ask for them for free now. If you ask for all of them, then you should get a copy of them from birth.

Thank you all. As my name was changed when I was 3, 36 years ago I don’t really have anything in my birth name, but there must be some medical records somewhere from birth - 3 with my original name on.

My gcse certificates have my deed poll name on.

Look, op, worst case scenario - simply swear an affidavit that you are your children's mother. But I cannot imagine it will ever be necessary.

And I moved around a lot in early childhood apparently so not sure wether I’d be able to get anything record wise from my birth name.

But if your lost passport was in your deed poll name surely you would have had to provide proof to the passport office to show your birth certificate and the deed poll change. Did your Mum apply for that passport?

Could you contact the passport office to find out what records they keep?

Interesting. A different set of circumstances, but why you can get into issues:

I was born in East Africa of British parents; dad was in the British Crown Service.

I married an Antipodean (having already gained dual citizenship myself) and we had DC. We came (for me, back) to the UK when they were babies. I applied for British passports for them- then discovered that I needed to prove their right to them as I was born 'abroad'!

Thankfully, my mum had kept dad's contract of employment for East Africa! This sufficed. But had I been born over there while they'd been on holiday, I wouldn't have been able to register my Antipodean DC as British!

When I applied to get their GB passports renewed, initially, they asked for all the proof, all over again! Luckily, a very slightly terse letter on my part reminding them they had all the necessary proof on record already, also sufficed.

And yes, names matter. We have all heard of the error of booking honeymoons in maiden names and trying to travel to them on married name passports!

People can call themselves what they want, as long as they are not doing so for criminal purposes. There are no legal implications to your loss of the original deed poll. Though I am surprised to hear about it being normal not to register them. I wonder whether it was not registered for some other reason and consequently you had hate paperwork but not a formal certificate stating that your name had been changed. That is in some ways irrelevant though. None of this will ever affect your kids citizenship.

if your children have their children in the UK this wont be a problem and it would only be a problem if you were not UK born.
you're really worrying about something that might not even happen, and could be quite a few years down the track anyway.

You just need to be able to show and explain the trail. If and when this matters, you can show your birth certificate with your birth name. You can show your mother (with your birth surname) married Mr X (with a marriage certificate), and that shows that your name changed to his.

When I changed my name back to my maiden name after a long marriage I printed a deed poll form from the internet, and my neighbour and a friend signed it. That was good enough for the passport office - I went in person.

I'm sure you'll be ok, don't worry.

Solicitor wouldn’t have a copy - too far down the line and they only keep files for a certain period of time. You may just need to swear an affidavit if it comes up ever.

Why will you need to prove British citizenship? If they were born in Britain and you have the birth certs your name being different won’t mean anything...

OP I applied for British citizenship via my grandmother / mother I had a similar situation - my mother’s name was also changed, her father died when she was under 10 - and then she was given / took on stepfathers name. (So her birth certificate and marriage certificate names don’t march) When I applied and had to show all birth certificates and marriage certificates for my mother, grandmother and myself and I I wrote a letter and just explained this discrepancy - I found the records office very helpful in searching for documents.

I had no problem, and I was applying via this ancestral route which is much stricter.

Would it help phoning & making a telephone appointment to chat with a registrar? They’re usually pretty knowledgeable about this sort of thing & whether it would cause problems & how to resolve them.

There are worse things though, I had a relative who didn’t discover until they went for their first passport that their birth hadn’t been registered and no birth certificate! Now that caused some problems!

I know this is an old thread but I just wondered what you decided to do in the end as I could have written this post word for word

Are you white (sorry I haven't read the whole thread) and born here/British?

I think the government are only concerned about black or non-white people who haven't got all the original paperwork, they get treated completely differently so I could understand your (valid) concern then.

If you are white then you'll be fine.

Sorry - I don't realise it was a zombie!

If either parent has British citizenship prior to birth of child, the child will be eligible for British citizenship so your citizenship doesn’t matter. Ex, I am a dual US/UK citizen, my parents are American only. When we registered DC birth there was no question that she was British. They might ask for grand parents details when applying for a passport but a passport is not citizenship, it is a travel document you use to show you are a citizen. Grandparents don’t matter in the UK unless child was trying to claim Uk citizenship and THEIR parent was not a citizen. Your children are acknowledged citizens already.