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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not join in with the social distancing street party tomorrow.

131 replies

GJAK9729 · 07/05/2020 20:07

Our local village are doing a social distancing street party tomorrow and everyone on the community website is quite excited about it.

Me and dc have learnt about VE Day and why it happens this week. We have made some bunting to put up.

But I really don’t want to join in with the street party. We generally keep ourselves to ourselves. We know our neighbours but not really friends with any of them. Our neighbours are quite a sociable bunch and we are not.

Plus our eldest child has additional needs. I can’t fully trust him to remember to socially distance and I would be a nervous wreck about him being out the front. He has no sense of danger plus he’ll get over excited which often turns him into a bit of a nightmare.

Aibu not to join in?

OP posts:
SnowsInWater · 07/05/2020 22:13

As someone who lives in another country I’m afraid my first thought is “it will be interesting to see the stats around new cases in the UK after the VE Day celebration”. I’m all for make your own choices but the whole street party thing is nuts and the mind boggles at people who think sharing home prepared food is a good idea right now.

covetingthepreciousthings · 07/05/2020 22:14

How the heck do you do a socially distanced buffet?!
That sounds absolutely ridiculous, how does that work out lol?!

I'm going to be peering at it from behind the curtains tomorrow to see!

BackforGood · 07/05/2020 22:15

Where has this idea of a buffet table come from ?

The invitation is for people to have a 'picnic on their porch' - ie, you all bring your own tea and cakes (or whatever you want) out from your own house. Sit out front, and shouts across to your neighbours if you want to. Of course lots won't want to, and that is equally okay as those that do.

Whattheduck · 07/05/2020 22:22

We are but no buffet just our own food and plenty of alcohol
It will be interesting to see if our next door neighbours join in as they had a visit from our local community police officer on Tuesday regarding the visitors they’ve been having every weekend since lockdown and the bbq’s they have been having with 2 different families visiting.I think it was the neighborhood watch leader that may have reported them or the people across the road they’ll probably think it was us though as we live next door

GlummyMcGlummerson · 07/05/2020 22:23

Don't do it if you don't want to!

I'm fully expecting just me and my NDN to be out on the front and really it's just an excuse for us to get phased Grin

Peggysgettingcrazy · 07/05/2020 22:24

The invitation is for people to have a 'picnic on their porch' - ie, you all bring your own tea and cakes (or whatever you want) out from your own house.

Who created the invitation?

Quarantimespringclean · 07/05/2020 22:24

If you don’t want to join in then just don’t. Do your own thing.

I have a feeling a lot of these social distancing parties are going to descend into chaos. After the isolation and tension of the last few weeks people will have a few drinks and think there’s no harm in standing closer to a few close friends and the social distancing will disappear. We will see a bank holiday spike in confirmed cases in a few weeks time.

SpockPaperScissorsLizardRock · 07/05/2020 22:26

My next door neighbour lost her husband at the weekend so it doesn't feel appropriate really.
The other side is separated by a massive hedge and the houses over the road don't have front gardens.

Might have a tea party in the back garden though.

whattodo2019 · 07/05/2020 22:27

A buffet and street games?? How are you managing that with social distancing and avoid the risk of infection?

Cherrysherbet · 07/05/2020 22:31

We’re joining in tomorrow. I want to do something to mark the day. We will sit out on the grass verge, 2m apart, enjoy the sunshine, and each other’s company for a couple of hrs. A nice cream tea, and a glass or three of pimms after work....what’s not to like?

So many miserable gits around.

ChickenyChick · 07/05/2020 22:39

well, if meeting in groups is ok now, I'll go and meet my parents/friends etc...

instead of doing this with my street

But it's not ok, is it?

Have the ruels changed?

I thought we should not mee tup with people (even if we keep 2 metres apart)

Have I been misunderstanding all along? fucketyfuck Sad

Could I have had a cup of tea with my best friend in her garden???? Wish I'd known! Did I misunderstand the whole thing?!

It's actually bloody confusing to be called "miserable" for not joining in a street party. genuinely confusing

Is lockdown over? Or is it not.

I have not heard it's over Confused

Sparklesocks · 07/05/2020 22:39

@Cherrysherbet that’s great you’ve made a day of it. But someone choosing not to participate in the same way isn’t a ‘miserable git’ - someone choosing or not choosing to do join in isn’t a comment on either side.

eleventy3isthemagicnumber · 07/05/2020 22:40

it seems a bit odd to have involved your dc in preparing for it, and then not to 'go'

The point of tomorrow is remembering VE day, 75 years on, not a party. There are many ways to do that. We're going to do it by taking part in the silence and watching some thing relevant (not sure what yet). Also talking about the war and what it meant for people. We're going to get the DC to call both grandmothers and ask if they remember VE day, and people celebrating and talking about the end of the war more generally.

We're not going to do anything out the front of the house, and certainly not and red white and blue crap as I feel it's being employed by the government in an attempt to get us feeling all patriotic so we let them off lightly with killing our loved ones and front line key workers with their incompetence and cronyism, so I want no part of it.

Having said that, if our street was going for it in a big way, I'd let the DC take part if they wanted to while explaining clearly why I'm not taking part.

VerticalHorizon · 07/05/2020 22:43

Social distancing (or lack of it) is not the only way the virus spreads.

So a street party where folks stay 2m apart still transfers the virus on shoes (one of the most common ways due the virus falling to the floor), or on a wide variety of surfaces (clothing), lampposts, garden walls, paper plates....

I absolutely understand the need for community spirit, and a sense of resolute strength, or just a little light relief, but...

it's a bad idea.

Ladycoo1 · 07/05/2020 22:44

Completely understand. Maybe you could join at 11am at the doorway for the minute silence and afterwards give everyone a distant wave. Stay safe don't care what others think.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 07/05/2020 22:44

We’re joining in tomorrow. I want to do something to mark the day. We will sit out on the grass verge, 2m apart, enjoy the sunshine, and each other’s company for a couple of hrs.

That's mixing households though, that definitely still isn't allowed, why are people bending the rules as they go along to fit in with their wants?
It's nothing to do with being a miserable git.
Person upthread, who said they were all sitting in their front gardens, separately, with their own food and waving at each, nowt wrong with that.
How does your head go well that means we can all mix and sit on the grass verge together as long as we're 2 metres apart?!
WTF
no mixing of households. Why is it so hard to understand?
Are you all going to get the tape measure out? Genuinely curious. After a few drinks if there are any if you're being this lax and rule bendy to start with it'll all go out the window anyway.
mind boggles lol

Peggysgettingcrazy · 07/05/2020 22:44

Actually I changed my mind. I am going ti my mums garden party.

She is sitting in her large back garden tomorrow. Not different from me sitting 2 meters from a neighbour.

Great. New plans for tomorrow.

Roads will be busy once people realise its officially OK to socialise in groups.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 07/05/2020 22:49

Roads will be busy once people realise its officially OK to socialise in groups

It's not still OK though.
So because somebody else is being a twat about it, and ignoring lockdown, that means you will be too?
Why?
That argument is generally it's OK for me to break the law just because someone else is
WTF

covetingthepreciousthings · 07/05/2020 22:53

Where did this itinerary come from that's doing the rounds on Facebook etc about celebrating? It looks sort of official, but not sure who made it.

Someone up thread asked the same too.

Is it from the government? Or just an organisation?

To not join in with the social distancing street party tomorrow.
lilgreen · 07/05/2020 22:56

I don’t get the sitting out in shouting distance with people you barely know! I’ve been teaching children at school about VE Day this week and I will take part in a minute’s silence in my house. I will look at my DGF’s medals and thank him and his compatriots privately.

Peggysgettingcrazy · 07/05/2020 22:58

LemonadeAndDaisyChains but peolle here think it is.

Sitting 2 meters from your neighbours, is no different to sitting 2 meters from your friends.

People planning on drinking at a street party. Drink means more likely to forget social distancing. Street buffet tables?

And if you dont want to do it, you are a miserable git. What if you don't like your neighbours. Or don't have them. You will need to travel to not be a miserable git. Why should you miss out on the socialising tomorrow, cause you don't like your neighbours. So travel to someone you do like. Don't want to people think anyone is miserable.

So yes, its seems lots of people have been told that either lockdown is over, or covid is taking the day off.

I mean I am quite relaxed about lockdown.

I am doing fuck all tomorrow. I have been waiting for this weekend after working about 70 hours a week the last few weeks.

Bit it appears lots of people think its over.

Quite a refreshing change fro. 'Lockdown should be stricter. You only need to go shopping once every 28 days. Stay in and eat dust' threads we have had lately.

Its seems people are actively being told they must go out.

BackforGood · 07/05/2020 22:58

Who created the invitation?

I don't know, originally Peggysgettingcrazy, but it is something that has grown and grown across social media, and is being promoted by lots of community partnerships here in my City, and I should image Town Councils and things in less urban areas. Does it matter ? The point is, due to COVID 19, all the street parties and parties in Community halls won't be able to go ahead, and therefore some clever soul came up with an alternative way of getting together Smile

The point of tomorrow is remembering VE day, 75 years on, not a party

Yes, you are absolutely right. That is why the Bank Holiday was moved originally, before anybody knew anything about COVID 19

However circumstances are such that now roads up and down the Country have developed a new community spirit and friendliness which many - not all - but many people are enjoying. There are also a lot of people who are feeling very, very isolated - lonely even. This is a small way that those people can have a chat with people and know there will be other neighbours out at the same time as them.

In truth, in normal circumstances I personally probably wouldn't have been doing anything for the anniversary of VE day but I will be having a picnic on a porch tomorrow, for the social side of "being together with" my neighbours that I've got to know a lot better over the last few weeks - the VE Day festivities are just a hook to hang that on.

Holothane · 07/05/2020 22:59

We’re doing nothing not interested.

Peggysgettingcrazy · 07/05/2020 23:00

Is it from the government? Or just an organisation?

I asked. Because I think some idiot just made it up. Now people think there's an offcial invitation/permission slip to all socialise.

bombaychef · 07/05/2020 23:01

Do what you are comfortable with.