To think the nursery dd is going to is HORRIBLE?

[Lentils]

We live in an area that is "up and coming" and dd just started at a nursery that is basically on an estate and gets surestart funding because the area is considered deprived. I always thought of myself as pretty open minded and liberal, but I really hate this nursery even though its only been a few days. It gets me down that at least a quarter of the class are already overweight, that the parents openly scream at their children, and are generally for lack of better word "chav-y" and the children themselves seem really rough already. Am I just being a snob? Will it get better?

the pre-school that my kid go to is in sure start / childrens centre area. I think it is irrelevant really. What you should be looking at is the staff and their interaction with the kids.
So some of the kids are overweight - a nursery should have a healthy eating plan in place and the kids will learn about this. If they have a lunch club check that they have rules on what can and can't be bought in.
Parents screaming - well it happens - and as long as it isn't in the nursery building then not much the nursery can do about it. Again, as long as the staff don't shout it shouldn't be a problem.

We have quite a few children and parents like this at our playgroup. However, our staff are brilliant and we give those children a caring, stimulating, fun environment. Whatever the standards of care and behaviour might be in their homes, ours are very high indeed.

Two of my own children went to this playgroup many years ago now. Even then there was a similar mix - a few children came from homes that would probably be dubbed 'professional' or 'middle-class'. Some children were definitely from the sort of families you have described, the rest were a average bunch from all sorts of backgrounds. I didn't see my children suffer in any way from being in the same room as the 'deprived' children. Some of those children, or similar, went on to the same primary school as my children, and yes even the same secondary school. That's life.

I would be more concerned about what the environment is like within the nursery. Yes, the parents might shout at their children, but are the staff professional and caring and do they provide the right sort of atmosphere for the children?

I would try not to judge a nursery by its pupils, really. What is the staff like? Do the staff scream at the children? What are the facilities? Chances are that - if the staff is good - those "rough" children will learn how to interact in that environment. Ds's primary school is quite mixed, but the school in the years has created a great atmosphere in collaboration with the majority of parents.

hard to tell if lentils is objecting solely to the paernts / fat children = unreasonable, in or whether there is another problem with the nursery itself = reasonable.

x posted with portonovo, who's much more articulate than me

olice oil - some kids don't know how to behave and can be violent -especially if they aren't from a loving home environment - not a 'class' issue though. Have seen kids from the whole spectrum of society with this.

I think you should pull her out and send her to a nursery where the mums all wear boden and pop off to the gym after they have dropped off little Oscar. You obviously don't want your children mixing with children whose circumstances are less favourable.

Mind you I have met children form a loving environment being quite violent. It's not an equation (imho)

I object to a child being called rough tbh

just my opinion

I think it's hard to make the case for withdrawing a child without coming across as perhaps a bit snobby. But I fully understand what OP is trying to explain.

I have been in almost exactly the same situation and I believe that if the parent feels uncommfortable in the situation, that will make the child wary too.

I sent Ds to a preschool on an estate, I hated it, I didn't feel I fitted in with the parents (having to alter my speaking voice so as not to come across as posh - and yes, I do think I was being judged) and the fact a lot of the kids were from unhappy, deprived families and not treated very well did mean that they took out their frustrations and anger on the other children. I would have thought this was obvious. I took him out and we tried a different one, again with a mix of kids but a much happier, calmer atmosphere and staff I trusted more. I was happier, he was happier.
I didn't send him to the equally (if not moreso) deprived school, either...even though it is 'up and coming'. The thing is, they can put money into a school like that till kingdom come, but it won't alter the fact that many of the kids are just miserable.
It seems a shame to say but I think often poverty and unhappiness go hand in hand. That's not being snobby but realistic.

I knew that my son had enough disadvantages at home, being part of a single parent family, with a sometimes very depressed mum, he needed all the help he could get, and I would rather he went to the more 'middle class' school where he is now and the kids are generally in the happier range, than the one where we used to pass every day and he would be teased and laughed at.
I realise that the parents at his current school may see him as one of the less desirable children from one of the less successful families, but I know several parents who sent their kids to the less middle class school to give them more 'life experience'! Very bizarre. It's probably a question of what you are happy with.

I know the school I didn't favour reminded me of my own school experience, being picked on etc. for being 'posh' - fgs we lived in a council house, but my parents were educated so we talked more clearly than most of the kids

Rant over, sorry...

You're not being a snob - you just want the best for your child. I realise it is convenient but is there no alternative nursery you might be happier with. My DD's nursery is 6 miles away and we think it is a much better set up. There are several closer playschools/creches but we are happy with the one shes in.