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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

'Social bubbles'

51 replies

Disneylover4321 · 07/05/2020 12:53

Aibu to think It's not so people can have a nice fun social life, it's to help people who need childcare from grandparents or friends or other family members because they are key workers or there employer wants them to come back to work.

OP posts:

SamSeabornforPresident · 07/05/2020 14:16

I suppose the idea is the limit big gatherings with friends of friends and similar. It's an incredibly problematic idea though. It's like when you allow 12 year olds to pick their own groups. What if you end up in no one else's bubble?

SporadicNamechange · 07/05/2020 14:28

Limiting gatherings to no more than X number of people would be far simpler and more sensible than some weird (and oddly divisive) ‘social bubbles’ plan.

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/05/2020 14:36

why do you assume grandparents are automatically considered vulnerable? My DM (Granny) is 59 and still going to work as a teacher? Not all grandparents are elderly and frail
Yes, this always gets me. I am 65 and grandmother to teenagers. How many people are actually using frail elderly people for childcare anyway?

onemouseplace · 07/05/2020 14:39

We won’t be in anyone’s bubble and the thought is already making me feel fairly sad and anxious. Family are all too far away and we’re not anyone’s closest friends locally.

pigsDOfly · 07/05/2020 14:43

If this whole bubble of 10 people is happening in people's houses then who exactly is going to police this: who you've seen, who they've seen. It's unworkable.

Obviously, rather like the idea of only exercising once a day, if people don't stick to it no one will know, unless of course, their neighbours report them.

I rather suspect that if we're told we can have a bubble of ten people, a huge percentage of the population will just ignore that ten limit and start meeting up with friends and family and will probably not keep the 2m distance either.

There's another thread running and one or two poster are completely convince that come Sunday Boris Johnson is going to announce that lockdown is to be scrapped; doubt they're be sticking to a 'bubble' of ten people.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/05/2020 14:44

why do you assume grandparents are automatically considered vulnerable? because statistically they are. The percentage of people who have died of corona world wide under 44years old is c.4%, then the next age bracket up is jumps to 23%- it’s not an attack on older people, just like it isn’t racist to say BAME people are greater affected

SodOffCovid · 07/05/2020 14:47

Absolutely no way bubbles could be policed. It's a stupid idea imo

fluffiphlox · 07/05/2020 14:48

I’m fully expecting not to be included in anyone’s social bubble. It’s just the way it goes. We’re a couple but my family live miles away and the other people we know have large families. So the opportunity to be in someone’s top 10 is limited. Never mind.

Echobelly · 07/05/2020 15:09

@BuffaloCauliflower - fair point, but certainly many will be. My parents and inlaws are neither 'elderly' nor 'frail', but they are nonetheless shielded as people by their age are more likely to have health conditions. I don't think anyone is assuming older people are all one foot in the grave, but they are much more likely to need shielding.

If restrictions are lifted, my initial inclination would be to only have someone over/see another household every fortnight, at least initially, as then the chance of passing anything on unknowingly is minimised but it's still a big improvement on now.

But as people have said, there are all kinds of variables, like shared custody etc that complicate matters for some households.

MaggieFS · 07/05/2020 15:28

I doubt we'll be in a bubble locally, but I'm happy to wait until we can go and see both our mum's, and as both are elderly with underlying conditions, I wouldn't want to see them once we've mixed with anyone else anyway. It'll be a great shame not to be able to be included in a group, but mum's need to be our priority which helps the decision, if that's how it's done.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 07/05/2020 15:52

Limiting gatherings to no more than X number of people would be far simpler and more sensible than some weird (and oddly divisive) ‘social bubbles’ plan.

Exactly. It would limit contact levels without involving an overly complex and impractical ‘approved person’ list. For example, two of my closest friends live about three miles away, and another just over a mile away. They’re all obvious people for me to socialise with - BUT, friends one and two have only met friend three a handful of times. Will they want to include her in their bubble just so that they can include me, and vice versa? Would it really make that much difference if the five of us had an open air picnic well away from other groups?

Mikki2019 · 07/05/2020 15:57

Yep classic dementor )

SeasonFinale · 07/05/2020 16:27

My family live abroad and DH's a long way away. I suspect therefore we wouldn't make anyone else's top 10 (once they add in parents or siblings) and this actually makes me feel worse than I do already.

MereDintofPandiculation · 07/05/2020 17:16

I could cope with a bubble. It would be my mum’s house, and my best friend’s house (assuming she was comfortable with that, we are both pregnant so equal risk) I don’t need much else Yeah, but your best friend would want to add her mum, who would want to add her other daughter, who would want to add her PILs...

Eemamc · 07/05/2020 17:27

I understand they would have to draw the line somewhere, and it’s completely fine for my side of the family, my parents, my one brother, his wife their kids. What’s going to be tricky is my ILs. They have six children, 5 live in their own homes, each with a spouse and 1-2 children, and their very elderly parents. 2 of us have babies they are yet to meet. Who do they pick? If social bubbles are going to be a thing, then hopefully we can get through it without some people getting too upset, some are going to be excluded. I would say that we’d be the most resilient out of the other siblings, and would volunteer to take a step back for the sake of the others, but I’m due to give birth any day. I know they’ll desperately want to meet their new grandchild. It’s going to be tricky to navigate for larger families I think.

LastTrainEast · 07/05/2020 17:50

It's not going to work very well, but I suppose the argument would be that if it worked a bit that would be enough to slow the spread down. If it just makes people hesitate to visit every single person they know that will have to do.

If someone objects to not being on your top 10 tell them you picked those you considered most expendable in case you had it. You considered them too valuable to risk.

Ponoka7 · 07/05/2020 18:10

"Aibu to think It's not so people can have a nice fun social life"

YABU that's exactly what it is for. It's why one of the posters for this shows a picnic taking place.

We need to get back to life, slowly and carefully. This is one way of doing it. People shouldn't be going to hug elderly people, but they can meet up but maintain distance. We'll understand transmission rates better.

I've had to continue providing childcare for my grandchildren, as is allowed. My 'bubble' is four people. I'd like to spend some time with children who i am close with, so my bubble will add in two more, it won't involve the parent. So that will stay at six, until at least three weeks and we see what's happening with the figures.

If other people want to fill up the hospitals, they are welcome to do that. Children are regressing, people's mental health is dropping, why this is going on. We need to see a way out.

Pipandmum · 07/05/2020 18:21

My social bubble would look different from my kids and I don't even have living parents or near any siblings! My son would of course want his girlfriend and best mate, his girlfriend would want her dad, her best friend and my son as well as her mum and grandparents. So is my bubble now limited because of my sons bubble, plus me and my daughter is up to 10, even though I wouldn't chose any of those people? I bet the bubbles will all start looking more like venn diagrams ....

Spodge · 07/05/2020 18:28

I can't see it working for many people when everyone thinks through their own practicalities.

nonamehere · 07/05/2020 18:42

The 'closed bubble of 10' idea is clearly unworkable. But it would be a help if we all tried to limit the number of people we meet every week. Every person may or may not be infectious, and we have no way of knowing. But if I only meet say 6 (or 10 or12...) different people over the course of a week, the chance of catching (or passing on) the virus is much lower than if I go to group meetings, birthday parties, etc... Even if the 10 people I meet have each met 10 others this week, it's better than me meeting all 100 people.

Of course this won't work for anyone working in a busy environment like a supermarket, but it's doable for many of us.

cardibach · 07/05/2020 18:46

As I’ve said before, it just throws up impossible decisions. I live alone, so I could do with this. My daughter handily lives a few miles away. Hooray! But she lives with her partner who I’m sure want to see his mum and dad. And he has a sister, who also would. She has a husband...who are we going to deny seeing who?

Anniesnotmydaddy · 07/05/2020 19:01

I'm not sure it will happen. It's something that's been mentioned but not definite. As a family I think we're heading in that direction anyway - at some point we'll meet but it will just be our family group. And if it helps people get back to work then surely that's a good thing? We need to get as back to normal as possible.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 07/05/2020 19:05

Aibu to think It's not so people can have a nice fun social life

God forbid anyone have fun in this new police state.

What about the poor buggers who live alone and haven't seen anyone for weeks?

Or the people who live apart from their partners who again haven't seen them for weeks?

Or the parents of adult children who haven't seen them for weeks?

♟

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 07/05/2020 19:06

unless people are literally taking photos of a variety of people turning up at their neighbours' houses and reporting them for seeing too many!

You do know that a) people are actually going to do that and b) post about it on MN

MindyStClaire · 07/05/2020 19:10

If you live a storybook life with your 2.4 kids and only works outside the home etc then perhaps social bubbles work but for those of us who don't it just is a crazy idea!

Even with 2.4 children and non separated parents it doesn't work. PIL have two children. They have two and three children each. So PIL's bubble is eleven people just out of their children, children in law and grandchildren - three households.

You could live with going one over the fictional limit of ten, especially since it's just three households and one of the DC isn't born yet (but imminent).

But of course that only works if SIL and I are happy not to see our families.

It's not a feasible plan. I think Ireland are allowing socially distanced groups of 4 to meet outside soon, and then small gatherings in homes in the next phase. That makes more sense than defining bubbles that will only work for a tiny minority of people.

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