To send the children to my mum's

[Bambini12]

Before you slate me hear me out,
I am struggling immensely with two children in the house and severe depression. It is a struggle to make it through the day. I have a very demanding 2yo and an older who is having to do her school work on her own because I am in no mental state to help her and my 2yo demands so much attention. I am on my own 7 days a week, they were originally going to their dads every weekend which was like a life line but he hasn't stepped up and let's me and them down every weekend and not having them.

My mother's household is isolated, it's a massive house with big gardens so she has room she had offered to have the children and with my grown up siblings who will be on hand to help with childcare and give my eldest the support they need with school work. I feel it would be a vast improvement for my children, we are shut up in a tiny house and I am unable to give them what they need right now as my depression is bad and getting worse. The children would be there 2-3 days a week.

I know it's against the rules but the reality is that they aren't seeing their dad anyway so it would be swapping his household for my mothers. I can't carry on as I am. I feel like I am no use to my children in the state I am in and their quality of life would vastly be improved

In your situation I’d send them, as you say they could be going to their dads but instead are going to your mums.

Yes it’s technically against the rules but sometimes you have to prioritise everyone’s mental well-being.

Can’t you all move in to your mums?

I think you should OP. Are you able to contact your GP and get help with your depression?

I think there MAY be scope to meet up with a limited number of family members, following the PM speech on Sunday.

It sounds as if you are struggling. In your circumstances I would be tempted tbh.

Nicola Sturgeon is on TV now. Scotland are not easing lockdown at the moment. Drakeford for Wales hasn’t made any recommendations as yet. I don’t think Wales will be easing lockdown either tbh.

I think you should all move in with your mum. You need some looking after too OP. X

Agree with PPs can you move in too?

Thank you everyone for being understanding of my circumstances ❤️
Moving us all in with my mum is an option I am also considering but would be a lot more hassle and my siblings live there and we do clash sometimes.
I am in contact with my GP and doing what I can for my depression including medication but I am still really struggling

I wouldn't feel guilty doing this

I would think this is ok

I think this is fine and would probably be allowed under providing care for a vulnerable person / medical reasons re your mental health. I hope things get better for you xxxx

I think it's a good idea in terms of helping you practically and giving you a break but I do agree with the idea of you going too as if that was me I would get worse on my own as when i'm struggling with my mental health, my child is the only reason I get out of bed, the only reason I bother eating well (to set an example) etc etc

On my own I would sink even lower

I know everyone is different though.

Hope things improve and you find the right solution for you and your family

I think it sounds like a good idea. You can get some proper rest and recharge and it sounds like the kids will be well looked after. Hope you’re feeling better soon

Sounds an excellent idea.

No reason the kids can't go for a few days a week so you get a proper break and then you can make a decision later about joining them at your parents'.

My next door neighbour looks after her two grandchildren. She says they have become joined households. Her husband died years ago.

I think it's fine. It's not really that different from separated parents.

As long as you treat it as you are one family unit then it's still in the spirit of things.