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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To miss my nan so much?

2 replies

rainbowcat11 · 07/05/2020 01:26

My Nan died last year. She was my favourite person in the world. We bonded from the start of my life as my parents couldn't look after me, so she stepped in and looked after me for the first few months. Obviously I can't remember that but we were close until she died. She stuck up for me when no one else did, listened to me, and gave me the attention and love I didn't get from parents.

Since her death many have acted as if I can't feel the same as her children and miss her like they do, because she was my grandmother and not my mother. As if the value of our relationships are graded on how close we are genetically more than anything else. I find my feelings and pain very confusing and hard to reconcile myself with. Sometimes I do wonder if she meant more to me than I meant to her which is very hard because I loved her more than anyone in my family due to the kindness she always showed towards me. Without her around I would have felt very unloved and lost Sad

OP posts:
DustyMaiden · 07/05/2020 01:29

So sorry for your loss. I’m sure she loved you the same. I love my Granddaughters as much as my Daughters.

MayDayFightsBack · 07/05/2020 01:35

I'm so very sorry for your loss. YANBU. I felt like you do about my Nan, she brought me up for years and I loved her much more than my mother, who is abusive and unkind.

There is no way people should feel you shouldn't be as upset as your Nan's daughters. There are no rules about this sort of things, all families and relationships are different. I suspect your Nan loved you as much as her children because she played such an important part in your life and you had a special bond anyway.

Grieve as much as you want and need to. I'm sure your Nan loved you more than words can say. Flowers

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