Disagreement when to tell people...

[Popcat120]

Me and OH having a bit of an argument tonight about when to tell people I'm pregnant.
Im 5 weeks, (second baby) but want to tell my mum.
She works in health care and may have to start looking after covid positive patients in the next few days...
Which means I won't be able to see her for weeks.
Maybe a month or more, in which I'll be 9 weeks, and that feels too late to tell her.

Also if anything terrible 3ae to happen, id want my mum, so why just tell her bad news, why not celebrate the good news too?

OH wants to wait til I've at least had a scan at 8 weeks, that I can still tell her, just post a card through the door, and stand 10 foot away...
How impersonal!
Then I get, do what you want... Again how bad will that look if I turn up on my own to tell the news.
AIBU to be upset with him, whys it his choice when I tell my mum?
(I realise probably hormones playing a part too!)

We haven't had 12 week scan yet but closest family and friends know. I told my mum the day I found out. We've had 3 losses so we're quite comfortable with those closest to us knowing as we'd need to lean on them for support (and emergency wine deliveries) if it were to go wrong. It's hard when you can't agree though. But if you do tell her, it shouldn't be f2f anyway (because, lockdown - I'm trying to gloss over the fact you've decided not to follow the guidelines to suit you as it boils my piss, quite frankly) but over facetime or the phone.

We told both sets of parents at 6 weeks, but asked them to wait to tell others until the 12 week mark/scan. They were really good about it.

If you've had one healthy baby, it's likely you're carrying another.

And, also, you seem pretty dead set on it ....Good luck!

FFS. This isn't an area to compromise on. Your body, you get to decide. Tell your mum whenever you want.

I think you should tell her whenever you like, but it should be over the phone (or if you must, at a 2m distance). Visits to other households aren’t allowed at the moment, you don’t get to break lockdown just because you’re pregnant.

I’m pregnant too (13 weeks) and I told my mum and parents in law at 6 weeks but that’s it. Waiting for blood results from scan before telling anyone else.

I didn't say I was going to break lockdown...
I said I'd tell her standing at the end of her drive.
I won't be telling her over the phone end of.

Oh right. It’s just when you said this:

• OH wants to wait til I've at least had a scan at 8 weeks, that I can still tell her, just post a card through the door, and stand 10 foot away... How impersonal!*

It really seemed like you were disagreeing with the idea of telling her at a distance.

Just tell her? She's your mother. My mother is my best friend and I couldn't imagine not telling f her straight away

I think maybe you’re overthinking- just a phone call in enough. The news is wonderful In its self it doesn’t need any dressing up!

Are your parents together?
I think its unreasonable of so to tell your mum and expect her not to tell your dad

No they aren't together.

Not before 20 weeks for any of mine, in case something went wrong, with one exception - booked a place at nursery for each one as soon as I had a positive test.