To think that bad boys never change?

[Magicra84]

I posted yesterday about the man I've been dating not telling me he's got a son he doesn't see and also lying about him being single a year when he told me he'd been single three years. I had an uneasy feeling despite him being prince charming personified so did a bit of detective work. He has since bombarded me with promises he won't decieve me again and how much I can rely on him. He is a charmer and very good looking. While I was playing detective on FB I came across posts his ex had written when they were together basically saying he had stopped texting her and she hadn't heard from him for two days. Further messages from her friends were saying he was probably with other women which he denies he has ever cheated on anyone. I don't believe him. I don't think a leopard can change their spots. Does anyone have any stories of how their man changed for the better and mended their ways?

So sorry I didn't use paragraphs

Humans who are pieces of shit remain pieces of shit for their whole lives. Moral codes and core principles don't suddenly develop - either they're there or they're not.

You need to look at why your bar is set so low as to think that a piece of shit like this deserves a second of your time.

And YABU to use the phrase "bad boys". It plays into that age-old myth that men are an inherently different childlike tribe who need taming and changing with the love of a good woman. Men who aren't wankers don't need to be tamed.

You say he’s good looking and charming... he’s enjoying the chase, you’re a challenge at the moment- you’re his new pray 🦁
Once he’s got you, you’ll lose him how you find him. Mark my words.

He's not worth the trouble.
I had my fair share of bad boys before I met DH and they don't change.

I cringe when I think back of all the tears, time and negative energy that I wasted on them. Don't be past me OP and move on.
Life is soooo much better without bad boy drama in it.

I don't have any stories about men, but I can comment on myself.

Some of the decisions I made in my younger days were disgusting. I don't recognise the person I was and am very happy about that. My DH (boyfriend at the time) was a huge part of helping me to change.

I'd had a pretty rubbish upbringing and looking back all my behaviour was self-destructive. Ie. push them away before they get a chance to hurt me.

So I absolutely have changed my spots and believe that if there is an underlying reason that can explain the behaviour and be resolved then yes people can change. But they have to accept they have an issue in the first place and actually want to change.

I'm not suggesting you should or shouldn't trust/be with this person. But to answer your question, I do believe people can change if they want to.

It's possible though I call it more growing up then changing, but it will be of their own doing and not anyone elses. They can't be changed, fixed or captured. Just get to a point in their life when they decide that they want better and recognize that it starts with them.

Some very good looking men take advantage of the fact that there's always someone younger and prettier who'll give them a go. Others have principles and basic decency. You have clearly found the first type.

My ex was exactly like this. That's why he's my ex.

You mean change between yesterday and today? Not a hope in hell!

Or do you mean a hypothetical bloke changing eventually and you're just pondering humanity's strange ways?

Does it matter if he changes in the future? Are you considering getting back with him? On some vague hope? Or because a random mn's bad boy turned good?

Teenagers with a lot of growing up still to do can change quite drastically. I’ve know some real arseholes at school who now seem quite lovely.

Once they get into their 20s it is very unlikely they will change. If they do change, it’s not because you want them to, it’s because they themselves really want to follow a different path in life, or they’ve had some great epiphany.

I’d put money on this man not changing.