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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for wanting to report our awful neighbour?

28 replies

prettyflamingo4 · 06/05/2020 14:43

First of all hi, first time posting here๐Ÿ˜ second of all, I am terrible at getting to the point so bear with ๐Ÿ˜‚ third of all, hope everyone is staying safe and well โค๏ธ

So I finished uni last year and am back living at home with my mum and around the same time as me coming home, we got a new neighbour. About a month in we realised he had a partner and they had a new baby, my mum went to introduce herself and apologise for any noise as she has an 8 year old, and he just basically grunted and then shut the door on her... He also never says hello to any of us who live around here, so he is either rude and ignorant, or is riddled with social anxiety. I'm going to go with the former.
Both of our houses have the bedrooms downstairs and the kitchen/lounge upstairs, and we noticed that they had a pitbull/staffy type dog being kept in a cage in the bedroom that, no word of a lie, was not big enough for a large German shephard, let alone a smaller dog. We also have never seen them take the dog out for walks or even out to the communal courtyard that we and all the other neighbours in our area share... They live in squalor and still don't even have curtains up despite living there for nearly a year now, instead having towels and grubby rugs and blankets just hung up at all the windows. They also blocked the drain/sewage system that is shared between all the houses along our road because they were flushing nappies and baby wipes, and everyone who lives here had to pay towards having it sorted out... Right before Christmas๐Ÿ™„ And they never even apologised... We constantly hear him shouting and mocking his crying baby. We constantly hear him slamming doors, my mum's room is upstairs and she hears him slamming doors up until 3am most mornings. We thought they maybe didn't have their dog anymore until last night when we heard it barking incessantly, and because they obviously love their dog so much (sarcasm...), they decided to get a new kitten that is constantly sat on the downstairs windowsill mewing trying to get back in the house and is scared of anyone that goes near it. My mum is one of those who would rather mind we mind our own business and doesn't want to cause any issues as this guy does seem like he could get aggressive and the way our houses are set up, we are the only ones who his house is attached to so it would be obvious it was us who reported him, but between the mocking his crying baby and the keeping the dog in a cage and ignoring the kitten just wanting to get in from the rain, I am close to doing it.
I think the point of no return for me was last Thursday, we were out clapping and cheering for the NHS, as we do every week and a few of our other neighbours do too (we live opposite a surgery and A&E centre so the atmosphere is always lovelyโค๏ธ) and the nightmare neighbour comes out about a minute in and shouts in the loudest, most obnoxious and belligerent way possible "SHUT THE FCK UP YOU FCKNG BST*RDS", if that doesn't tell you what kind of lovely, thoughtful man he is I don't know what will!
So my question is: am I being unreasonable to even want to report him? I don't know how I'd go about it yet, but between the animal situation, the baby situation, the shouting, aggression and the constant door banging, we are losing the will to live. Any advice?

OP posts:
itsnotcakeitsbaby · 06/05/2020 14:49

I think I would report the dog situation (not sure who to - RSPCA or council?) and if they're still flushing nappies then report them to environmental health, but stay out of everything else.

He's probably sick of the 8pm clappers waking/keeping his baby up, and having no curtains isn't your business. He doesn't have to be best friends with his neighbours.

Alicemovedtothecity · 06/05/2020 15:22

Do you see the partner and baby go out?? Do they look clean and healthy?

The poor dog doesnโ€™t sound good I would report but can understand your worried as they would know it was you Sad

TheMandalorian · 06/05/2020 15:25

You sound very gossipy and nosy.
However, if you have concerns for baby or animals report to the relevant authorities.

Honeybee85 · 06/05/2020 15:29

I would normally say mind your own business but this sounds like a very unhealthy environment for the baby and the pets. They can't stand up for themselves so they need someone to do that for them.
I would report them but be aware of hostility and possible agressive response towards you and your mum OP.

BovaryX · 06/05/2020 15:29

Report them. The kitten will end up dead. I hope it runs away. He sounds like a thug.

Yerroblemom1923 · 06/05/2020 15:36

Report them. They sound like something on a CH5 documentary to me!

StarbucksSmarterSister · 06/05/2020 15:38

Report about the dog, it's totally unacceptable to keep it in those conditions.

GeronimoDiego · 06/05/2020 15:43

I would definitely report anonymously to RSPCA and to social services

Want2beme · 06/05/2020 15:53

I'd call in to your local police station, if there is one nearby/open and tell them everything you've said here. Or call 101, police non emergency. www.askthe.police.uk/Content/Q101.htm

Tell them you're very concerned about what you're seeing next door. Hopefully, they'll be able to offer advice. I've reported plenty of people for animal cruelty, as this is something I cannot ignore. Fortunately, I haven't had to report child neglect, if that's what's actually happening here.

Are they renters or owners? Is there a landlord you can contact?

Notimeforaname · 06/05/2020 16:07

I used to live next to a family like this. I reported them for animal cruelty...
Couple days later someone came up to check the dog and just told the neighbour it was me who'd called?! I was told it would be anonymous Hmm

For the next year or so neighbour would throw sharp bones covered in bleach/jeyes fluid over the wall to harm my own dog.... Would dump all sorts of rubbish in our garden and shout at us whenever they saw us.

My point is, these people will never be decent.
Reporting them will not cause them to change their ways and almost never results in the animals or children being taken off them....
I would say just try to bite your lip and ignore it... Or at least be ready for some sort of retaliation..

Delbelleber · 06/05/2020 16:33

I've reported a neglected dog before. It wasn't removed from their care though. So disappointing. Don't know how people can keep animals like prisoners like that.
As for the other stuff I don't think you should get involved but I do sympathise with you.

Rahul88 · 06/05/2020 16:40

Are you certain theyโ€™re not walking the dog? If youโ€™ve only heard it barking the once, perhaps itโ€™s not as bad as it seems? My dog happily sleeps in his dog crate voluntarily, itโ€™s his favourite place.

FeelinFagin · 06/05/2020 16:45

Report for the dog and the flushing the unflushables.

Curtains is none of your business but I would think the landlord wouldn't be too happy to know he or she has such scruffy tenants in living in shit presumably not taking care of the house.

And as for the clapping? I'm with him.
It's not necessary, it's virtue signalling and it's disturbing children, pets and everyone else who doesn't want to hear it or take part.

mrsbyers · 06/05/2020 16:48

Lots of this is unacceptable but I high fived him in my mind there for the clapping outburst

Hingeandbracket · 06/05/2020 16:56

YABVU for this -

I am terrible at getting to the point so bear with

wineymummy · 06/05/2020 17:02

If drains are shared, unblocking them is the responsibility of the water board. You shouldn't be paying for this. Just phone the water board, not DynoRod or whoever next time.

pallasathena · 06/05/2020 17:06

What about the baby being shouted at? get onto NSPCC and ask for some help.

kazillionaire · 06/05/2020 17:12

When you say mocking the crying baby, what is he doing? That could be quite concerning

RingPiece · 06/05/2020 17:20

Can you feed the kitten? Poor thing. Maybe it can find its way into your garden for some food.

Itsnotalwaysme · 06/05/2020 18:35

My friend lived in a situation exactly like this, except they had multiple cats who attacked people and dogs.

They eventually moved but I think it was a choice - the council, environmental health and sspca were all contacted numerous times though.

They left everything behind and the doors unlocked and it was beyond rank!!

StarbucksSmarterSister · 06/05/2020 18:44

We constantly hear him shouting and mocking his crying baby.

I've just re read your post. He needs reporting asap.

CockCarousel · 06/05/2020 18:50

I'm usually a live and let live kind of person, but this sounds terrible.

Can you steal the kitten?

LonelyInLockdown · 06/05/2020 19:07

It sounds awful, OP.
I'm worried for the dog. If I lived around there I'd find a way to rescue it - I've done this before.
Animal cruelty is the worst.

VeganCow · 07/05/2020 09:57

My question is why have you not already reported him for the cruelty to the dog? Come on you don't sound stupid. How can you live next door knowing the life the dog has? Thats before we even get to the rest..

Kakorrhaphiophobia · 07/05/2020 13:36

How do they manage to flush a nappy down the bog? Wouldn't it block their bog u-bend before getting far enough to block anywhere else? Or maybe they're sticking their hands down to push it round the bend?