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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

remember the "clap for the kids"? there's more...

179 replies

PineappleDanish · 05/05/2020 07:55

saw this posted on social media, not naming the author as it's just SO cringe from start to finish... Oh and the AIBU. AIBU to cringe myself outside in and feel a bit nauseous?

Dear parents in the U.K.,

Today marks six full weeks since our country went into lockdown.

You have had your children home for the same time now that you would if they were on summer holidays. People will say ‘but they are your responsibility’ and whilst that is true, no-one could be expected to have imagined this period before they chose to conceive.

You have protected, nourished, educated, supported and entertained your children during a period of national and international uncertainty and fear. You have experienced emotions for yourself and your family that you never knew existed, never mind experienced before.

Six weeks is a long time.

Think about how you feel at the end of the summer holidays, how ready you are for routine, how badly your house needs cleaned from children home, how much work you are ready to catch up on. Remember that exhausting feeling of having so little sleep, much less money and hearing ‘mummy/daddy’ every time you happen to sit down.

And you wonder why you are exhausted after six weeks of lockdown?

You are amazing! You have achieved something no other parent ever has during our time. You have faced six weeks unable to take your child or children anywhere, six weeks of no parks, holidays to break up the boredom, no day trips, no family to help. On top of that you have juggled work demands, loneliness on a level never experienced before, information overload from the internet and emotional turmoil of not being able to see people you hold dear. Even getting food to eat has been a major drama!

So it’s ok to feel drained. It’s ok to feel like you would sell your soul right now for five minutes alone. It’s ok to feel uninspired about another day of homeschooling, another day of never ending laundry and cooking.

It’s ok to be so very tired.

Six weeks is a long time.

But you have made it.

Be proud of yourself. Stand tall.

History will show you for your courage, your children will remember this period as a time knowing they were safe and loved and teachers everywhere are deeply grateful that you are there for your children when they should be but can’t be.

In short: you are awesome!

And so are your children.

OP posts:
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GoldenOmber · 05/05/2020 13:46

We all ARE ‘getting on with it’, Footywife. That’s what people are doing.

‘Getting on with it’ does not mean ‘pretend you never have any negative feelings about any of it and everything’s lovely’. People are allowed to think that hard things are hard sometimes, without being told they shouldn’t have bothered having children if they didn’t plan on a pandemic.

Footywife · 05/05/2020 13:49

@GoldenOmber Now then.....I didn't say people shouldn't have bothered having children if they didn't plan on a pandemic did I? Now put your toys back in the pram and pour yourself another gin mumma

GoldenOmber · 05/05/2020 13:53

I didn't say people shouldn't have bothered having children if they didn't plan on a pandemic did I?

“ I'm getting sick of parents whining about having to look after their own kids during lockdown. Yes, it's tiring, but if you choose to have children then you have to be prepared to take on all the responsibility that comes with it.” Is what you said.

But I’m sure what you MEANT to say was “I appreciate everyone’s in different circumstances and this is genuinely a bit shit for a lot of people,” and that was just a typo or something. Keys are right next to each other after all, “mumma” Hmm

Sometimenever100 · 05/05/2020 13:54

Agree with @purpleme12
I only get by without needing professional help during the summer holidays because I meet with friends and family most days and get adult conversation. I am able to take them to nice places and enjoy them playing. Now I can’t do any of those things. We still go out most days but to the same local walks which were find for the first 3 weeks and now, not so much. Plus no adult chat as DH works long hours.
It really does depend on what support you have at home, how many kids you have, their ages and temperaments. It’s most definitely not the same for everyone with kids!
Come back to me when you have had 3 under 3 including 2 newborns on your own for 12 hours a day, then we can talk

OchonAgusOchonO · 05/05/2020 13:55

*‘Getting on with it’ does not mean ‘pretend you never have any negative feelings about any of it and everything’s lovely’.

Yeah. It's shit. But it's shit, in lots of different ways, for most people. It's perfectly reasonable to whinge and complain. However, dealing with a tough situation to the best of your ability doesn't make a person a martyr. It's just life.

The main difference between the current situation and normal life is that it's shit for everyone now whereas normally, it's shit for some people all the time and shit for all people some of the time.

littlemeitslyn · 05/05/2020 14:02

Who asked you to have 3 under 3 children

Footywife · 05/05/2020 14:07

@Sometimenever100 Your choice. Your responsibility.

Flippetydip · 05/05/2020 14:11

How lovely to see everyone so supportive on threads like these. Makes you glad to be part of such a wonderful online community.

GoldenOmber · 05/05/2020 14:11

People choose to have twins now?

Aridane · 05/05/2020 14:13

@Flippetydip - pandemic, it seems, beings supercilious cuntiness to the fore

Footywife · 05/05/2020 14:16

How lovely to see that so many exhausted mothers, who simply haven't got time for their children, can make time to post on a forum. Wink

GoldenOmber · 05/05/2020 14:18

Did somebody hurt you at a formative stage of your development Footywife? You don’t seem to like other humans very much.

Flippetydip · 05/05/2020 14:20

@Footywife - I'm sure you're not generally this obnoxious in real life. Perhaps stop being such a keyboard warrior and realise that people find things difficult that you don't. Obviously, you are doing a lot better than most people in managing with things and I'm delighted for you, but it would be lovely if you would take a little time to work on your empathy.

FiveEyes · 05/05/2020 14:30

Who asked you to have 3 under 3 children 😂 The level this thread has got to! 🤣

coco123456789 · 05/05/2020 14:33

Who are these people sitting in their pjs eating biscuits? If that’s you then that’s fine, but some of us are trying to do work, and homeschool and look after toddlers. The house is tiny so no space for DH or I to properly get any peace to try and work. DH will probably lose his job. My mental health has plummeted again. How can we be expected not to find that tricky?

Sometimenever100 · 05/05/2020 14:35

@Footywife my responsibility but I was not given the ‘choice’ to have twins. I was not given the choice that my MIL developed early dementia and was not able to help. Other people are not given the choice that their children are born with severe disabilities or learning needs. Yet we all take these risks when we decide to have a child. Everyone is self a different hand and some hands are much more difficult than others.
Learn some empathy and have a shred of kindness please

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/05/2020 15:51

I think we can all agree that the lockdown is is not easy. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for those struggling with children with additional needs. Maybe we can all give each other a break now.

The original post was cringy. It is possible to think that the way something is written is patronising and ridiculous whilst also thinking that The majority of parents are all doing their best. for most of us though, the situation could be a whole lot worse and we should be grateful for that.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/05/2020 15:52

Not sure where the random capital in the came from and why for didn’t have one. Hmm

3rdNamechange · 05/05/2020 16:45

People who cal themselves Mumma or use it in their Facebook bio make me want to vomit.
This is an absolute load of bollocks.
Ex single mother here , did a degree , no maintenance, domestic abuse,
Now I'm frontline can I have my medal please ?

When you have kids you bring them up , whether that's easy or a bit tougher.
You're lucky to have them , we aren't at war , we aren't starving, we won't get killed if we go out.

Get a fucking grip anonymous author.

Ohffs66 · 05/05/2020 17:18

Someone I know has just shared it on Facebook, I'm having to sit on my fingers not to comment! 😂

purpleme12 · 05/05/2020 17:25

This is a very nasty thread

PineappleDanish · 05/05/2020 17:53

it might have been prudent to mention it was written by a Mum of 2 disabled children, one a teenager with the mind of a toddler? Also with a disabled husband? Just worth a full picture.

And it's being widely shared by people who aren't. And it's fairly clear from the post that the writer isn't saying "Go me, I'm awesome, look at what I've got on my plate and I'm so super positive". she's calling lots of very ordinary parents "heroes". Which they aren't.

OP posts:
TeensArghhhh · 05/05/2020 17:57

@PurpleMeToo

Here’s a clap for you for looking after the children you chose to have - the same as all other parents at this time. Here you go (Slow clap) 👏 👏 👏 👏

Happy now? I hope so because that’s the only clap you’re likely to get.... unless it’s clap of the other sort of course

purpleme12 · 05/05/2020 18:04

The comment doesn't make me happy no but I also don't let comments on a forum make me unhappy so not sure what your comment was supposed to achieve really

TeensArghhhh · 05/05/2020 18:07

Umm... because the whole point of the thread is someone wanting a clap for looking after her children - no? 🥱