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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A competitive mum

7 replies

PlinkiePlonk · 05/05/2020 00:30

Bit of backstory - I have had to limit social media exposure to this mother as she became a bit overbearing by essentially turning up where I was by following posts and using the information I had posted.

In the lockdown I understand things are stressful but she keeps trying to involve myself and DS in an activity that is of little interest to DS as he prefers actual conversation not shit competitive games. It’s also during the day which as a working mum isn’t ever going to fit. However, no matter how much I say the timing just isn’t right (because I don’t want to state that actually I’m not interested in some game where we are racing the kids - well actually more us parents cos the kids can’t do it alone), messages come through about how ‘all of the class’, or ‘the usual group’ are getting together to do this thing and how my child is therefore missing out. I know this isn’t the case as she has played a number of the parents off against each other to get us all involved. She has also implied that my DS would of course find it ‘challenging’ but yet seems to pursue his participation every single time (up to 4 times a week).

The class is small and so I don’t want to go out and shout ‘just stop it, crazy bint!’ But I am finding it hard regarding how to deal. What would you do to just get her to back off and aibu to feel a little put upon?

OP posts:
rvby · 05/05/2020 00:33

So she is messaging you? Either block her, or message back "Please stop contacting me about this. Thanks!" - copy and paste the same thing every single time she messages you.

Ninkanink · 05/05/2020 00:33

Just say he’s not interested and you are working and don’t ask again as it’s not going to change.

If she continues, block.

Jupiters · 05/05/2020 02:44

because I don’t want to state that actually I’m not interested in some game where we are racing the kids - well actually more us parents cos the kids can’t do it alone
Maybe you do actually need to state this... She doesn't seem to be getting the message otherwise.

Merryoldgoat · 05/05/2020 02:45

Why don’t you want to say you aren’t interested?

PoppyAnnie · 05/05/2020 04:22

I tend to be very polite, perhaps too much so! So I get it. Also small schools make for extra caution with stuff like this.

I'd say something like "very kind of you to be offering, I'm so glad your dc is enjoying it. With my work and dc's personal preferances he isn't interested. I doubt that will change but if it does I will let you know. In the meantime I'm sure you are very busy, don't feel you need to invite dc each time/week, as knowing my dc his opinion won't change. But thanks again, so nice of you to think of him". Usually that works and you haven't burned bridges!

HandfulOfFlowers · 05/05/2020 04:36

Just say "This isn't really DS's thing, but thank you for asking".

PlinkiePlonk · 05/05/2020 14:33

Thanks all - she got the hint :)

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