To ask for experiences giving birth after a bad tear?

[SnackSizeRaisin]

I had a grade 3c tear with first baby. I recovered well but am left with some permanent damage. I am now pregnant again, and wondering whether to go for caesarean or vaginal birth. There will be a 2 year gap between the two and I'm 38.
Obviously I don't want to make things worse down there and end up with incontinence or sexual problems. I think I was really lucky to recover as well as I have following the first.
I don't really fancy a caesarean (being a bit squeamish) but I know if I go for another VB I will have a 5% chance of another bad tear and if that happens there's a chance of worse damage. (I have been told I can choose ELCS if I want).
Has anyone else had a second vaginal delivery after a bad tear and what were your experiences?

@meadowhay, yes that's a good point. Although from what I've read (peer reviewed papers) it looks as though having a second pregnancy is pretty bad for the pelvic floor of those with previous 3td or 4th deg tears, independent of the type of delivery. In another study, age was a bigger risk factor for incontinence than previous pregnancy. Best keep doing those pelvic floor exercises!

I had a 3b and episiotomy with forceps. I’ve got a prolapse now too. We’re planning a second baby and have found these responses useful. Thanks OP.

I like the suggestion of a VB but rather then intervene with forceps have an ECS.

I think my tear was caused by forceps, baby was coming out at an angle.