Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for your tips for building kids self esteem

5 replies

littleblackdress04 · 04/05/2020 14:36

My lovely 12 year old DS has very low self esteem at the moment & has been saying it hate myself’ and ‘i don’t like’ myself a lot lately. I think hormones/lockdown etc aren’t helping & he’s quite negative.
I have been getting him to think of one thing every day that he likes about himself & listing every day all the things I like about him but any other ideas?

I am worried about him- he’s pretty anxious at the moment about schoolwork & being cooped up isn’t helping

Aibu to ask for other ideas/ thoughts? Is this part of puberty do you think? He suddenly seems to have the weight of the world on his shoulders 😢

OP posts:
Dragonsanddinosaurs · 09/05/2020 11:18

I don't have any useful ideas but bumping for you in the hope someone else does.

insideoutsider · 09/05/2020 15:14

To build self esteem in kids, you could help him see himself the way you see him by communicating it to him. So, when he's talking, be interested and LOOK calmly interested, with facial expression that shows that what he is saying is interesting, laughing, questioning, whatever. This will help make him feel interesting.

When you like something about him, instead of maybe just thinking it, say it e.g. 'ooh, nice top... where did you get that?' Then he'll say you bought it, and then you say, 'really? it looks really nice on you'. Or, hmm, you smell nice, while pulling him in for a sniff. He might then pull away jokingly, saying you're weird, then you'll laugh too. Just little things that show that he is likeable and liked, special, cute, smart, quirky or whatever.

Even if they have something off about them, turn it into something admirable. My daughter has a large scar on her arm that she used to hate. When my eye catches the scar, I would say, 'Arr! Warrior princess', making a pirate like face and reaching for her like an attack, which would make her squeal into a play fight. She loves that arm now, always taking selfies with it proudly in full view.
I regularly tell her how odd I was in school and how she reminds me of this smart girl I used to follow around.

You do all this without drawing attention to him saying he doesn't like himself. I think that's how you could help in building their self esteem.

PsQsAndFs · 09/05/2020 16:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

Persiaclementine · 09/05/2020 16:31

Positive reinforcement
Finding something he is good at and can grow at
allow him to give his opinions and make him feel his values and his input counts

Atomsaway · 09/05/2020 16:34

I read praise the character not the competence. This was a bit of a light bulb moment for me.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread