To send DS to his grandparents with ExDP

[LatenightSleeper]

I’m posting here as I really don’t know what’s best right now.

Ex and I have been living together during lockdown, but the constant arguments and shouting is no longer sustainable. Due to this, we’ve agreed he will go and live with his parents. They live 2 hours away.

I have no intention of exDP losing contact with DS - he is a good dad. DS is almost 3. We are considering that exDP takes DS with him when he moves down there, and I’ll pick him back up in a week. I’m feeling really sad about being completely alone without DS but on the other hand I need a couple of days space to get my head together. I can’t do a 4 hour return trip every couple of days, especially as I’m still WFH, so it would have to be for week.
Ex doesn’t have a car so his dad will pick him up from here initially.

On the other hand ex goes alone and DS stays with me, but if ex is living with GPs anyway, he will end up staying with them at some point soon. But selfishly, I really could use the headspace as I’ve been finding things tough and it gives me a chance to sort things out in the home.

Should I send him down for a week or is that a really bad idea?

Anyone?

Sounds like a good plan OP.

Having other people to play with will also benefit your son.

Thank you. I think he’ll enjoy himself. MiL used to look after DS 2 days a week (she stayed with us for those days) and he is missing her.

I feel so weird about it. The longest I’ve been away from him is 2 nights so it feels a lot, but I suppose I’ll need to get used to this at some point anyway.

Kids from separated families are allowed to go to the other parent, and as you say he will go at some point. You may as well have it be a time that's helpful to you too. I hope it's easier when you are not stuck together with your ex, OP.

How do your in-laws feel about it? Have they been asked?
Don't get much of a mention in yr post?
Is ExP working - are GPs supposed to provide child care?

Ex GPs are really keen - they asked if he would bring DS down. They desperately miss DS. Ex is working, but he self-certified today on sick with stress this week so they shouldn’t be doing the bulk of the childcare.

I feel guilty and sad, but I do need the time to have a bit of a cry and then get myself together. And I know DS will have a lovely time. He’ll be spoilt rotten and will love the attention. But I will miss him

OP my daughter started having sleepovers at her GPs at 3. I was a bit beside myself at first but it was her who asked to stay with them
You deserve a break and a week at his GPs will also allow him to spend time with your ex without seeing either of his parents upset.

ambereeree

Thank you so much! I don’t want to feel like I’m failing DS, but I know he will be fine and have a lovely week. We’ve decided now that ex will take DS down on Weds and I will pick him back up on Mon and we’ll just from there. It’s so daunting but I think it’s probably the best choice for all 3 of us.