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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to delete half my Facebook 'friends'?

32 replies

PoppyBluebells · 04/05/2020 11:57

I don't want to hurt their feelings, but 50% are not 'friends'. I have under 100 'friends'.

They are people I have never met and never will. They became 'friends' through my work as a freelancer when I got to know them remotely in a 'you help me and I'll help you'. And then they requested me as 'friend'. My work has changed and I don't really need them now as part of my network.

I am not interested in their lives, a lot seem to have big egos and only post about themselves to boast, or make political points.

One of the reasons I don't use FB much is I don't want these 'strangers' to read stuff that only my real friends would see.

But I don't want to hurt their feelings.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 04/05/2020 11:59

Huh? It’s your account, do what you want with it. I very doubt you’ll hurt their feelings and you don’t really like them anyway so why would you care.

Original poster
PoppyBluebells · 04/05/2020 12:01

It's not so much that I don't like them, it's that I don't know most of them, and a few- not all- do post in a way that is quite egotistical.

I don't want them to feel offended, that's all.

OP posts:
minettechatouette · 04/05/2020 12:01

I doubt they'll notice, and even if one or two do, they won't know if you've just gone off facebook. You don't get an announcement if someone unfriends you.

IFancyANamechange · 04/05/2020 12:02

Why do you think its unreasonable? I wouldnt notice if someone removed me as a friend, unless it was someone I regularly interact with.

GoddessOfGettingThereInTheEnd · 04/05/2020 12:02

Do it. I don't any more, but I used to feel too self-conscious to post in front of many of the people on my friends list, so I never posted anything. Which wasn't really who I was. I had a lot to contribute!
I'm over it now and I share what I want to share.

It can be hard to decide who to cull though! Because you might apply your rule and then think,no wait, I only met her once but she completely got me and we clicked and I'd never be embarrassed sharing my thoughts in front of her. And then, Uncle John, the most judgemental miserable fek ...... but, argh.

ChicChicChicChiclana · 04/05/2020 12:03

It's fine, don't worry. I can't understand why anyone would be FB friends with someone they've never met.

Original poster
PoppyBluebells · 04/05/2020 12:03

They would know though if they searched for my name and saw me still listed?

OP posts:
GoddessOfGettingThereInTheEnd · 04/05/2020 12:03

Do customised settings.

YgritteSnow · 04/05/2020 12:03

If the "friendship" is as tenuous and distant as you describe I am sure they won't care less.

Original poster
PoppyBluebells · 04/05/2020 12:05

I can't understand why anyone would be FB friends with someone they've never met.

I think it was a work thing- we were all beavering away freelancing and it was a way of making contact (I belong to a work-related FB support group too and most of them came from there.)

OP posts:
GoddessOfGettingThereInTheEnd · 04/05/2020 12:05

I deleted somebody a while ago because we passed each other on the street and neither of us said hi.

I think in your shoes I'd unfollow the people you find negative or boastful or shallow or idiotic. And then restrict your own settings so that only the people you feel comfortable sharing with can see your posts.

paperandfireworks · 04/05/2020 12:05

They will neither notice nor care. You're just a number making up the 100s that feed their ego/image.

GoddessOfGettingThereInTheEnd · 04/05/2020 12:06

I can't understand why anyone would be FB friends with someone they've never met.

I am friends with people from various exercise support groups, psychology groups. Not just any old person though.

InfiniteSheldon · 04/05/2020 12:06

Any one who put political posts up right or left wing gets unfollowed or deleted by me

EmbarrassedUser · 04/05/2020 12:06

I’m only friends with people who I would go up to in the street and chat with and also speak to regularly via phone/text. I had a clear out recently and am down to under 40. Before I looked ‘popular’ but actually I wouldn’t have actually gone out with most of those people. To have around 40 people who would spend time with me is pretty respectable I’d say.

GoatyGoatyMingeMinge · 04/05/2020 12:06

You know you can put them in a group where they don't see your stuff, you don't see theirs, but you nominally remain friends to save face and just in case you need to rekindle them as business contacts?

browzingss · 04/05/2020 12:07

They would know though if they searched for my name and saw me still listed?

Just going to be frank, I doubt 100 people are all interested in you enough to do that. They won’t even notice especially if you don’t post or interact with them.

minettechatouette · 04/05/2020 12:07

I think that it is very unlikely that these people you don't know well and never interact with would care even if they noticed.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 04/05/2020 12:08

I have rules that only close family and close friends are on my SM. If anyone is insulted or smth because I ignore their friend request, it's their problem, not mine. So delete away. It's your SM, you are in charge of it.

minettechatouette · 04/05/2020 12:08

Lots of people do a facebook cull every so often.

crazybutkind · 04/05/2020 12:09

I deleted Facebook and twitter and snap chat I have kept Instagram and I deleted everyone who I have no interaction with. I literally only follow 60 people and it's the best thing I have ever done

Hoohaahoo · 04/05/2020 12:10

Just unfollow them. I’ve done it with loads of people that my DH is friends with but I don’t want to be. Everyone else that I’m not fussed about has been deleted. You’ll feel much better for it!

Isawamagpie · 04/05/2020 12:11

Delete and don't think twice about it.

Those who care may re-add you and you decide what you'd like to do regarding certain individuals

Or be like me and delete the whole thing and have no regrets Grin

Pinot4me · 04/05/2020 12:11

Just restrict them so that they can only see your public posts (profile pic etc) but will still be listed as a friend..

Legoandloldolls · 04/05/2020 12:12

Just get rid. I have. A few people had clearly stopped me seeing their posts as I never see them, only when someone tags them into their own posts. So I got rid of those people. They was all people from another time on my life. I didnt spend 1;1 time with them so not really friends anyway.

I have family on their that I never see, that's fine but old work colleagues etc is pointless.

I had a pen pal for 20 years delete me without reason a few years back. That felt a bit off but hey ho, I wouldn't normally notice

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