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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I make a police complaint? - beyond anxious

5 replies

nightsoutasap · 04/05/2020 08:21

Hi,

I have asked about this before on here, several months ago, but so much time has passed that I’m not sure the advice I received would still be correct. I am going to try to give as much detail as I can, without outing myself or my daughter.
Basically, just over two years ago my sixteen year old daughter was raped by her boyfriend at the time. He was controlling and abusive, and things got to a massive head and dd went to stay with her grandparents in order to put some distance between them (she did this willingly). On a visit back to our home town, she voluntarily got in his car (he was threatening to kill himself, and had recently been hospitalised with a failed attempt), where he drove to a car park and raped her. She reported it about 6 weeks later as she was worried about her family’s reaction to the fact that she volunteered to get in his car.
The police have known about this case for just about two years. There is a lot of evidence which they need to go through, and I completely understand that these allegations need to be scrutinised so thoroughly. As the mum of two boys, I actually find reassurance in this. However, I am so frustrated at the lack of progress. I was contacted yesterday by a very helpful police officer who was involved in the case near the start, and has now just taken over. She was clearly surprised at why things havent progressed. I was asked about if dd still had her phone, as that will need to be checked (she doesnt, it died a few months ago and was replaced), she was asking for her councellor’s details and friends who witnessed his controlling behaviour (which is a whole other thread). When I asked why this was not asked for months ago, she couldn’t answer me. I actually asked the police if they needed the phone soon after the rape, was told no.
I want to make it clear that I do understand this process. The police need to establish if there is enough evidence to present to the CPS, who will ultimately make a decision whether to prosecute. After posting last time, I think that I assumed that the police had pursued all lines of enquiry, there was not enough evidence, so the case was remaining open in case anything new came up. This is not the case. His phone records have still not been analysed and the police have had them for over a year. Is this normal? I am astonished that they want to take statements two years later?
When I have asked the police about the lack of progress, I am told that two years to make a charge is not unusual. However, this includes the several months that it takes CPS to make a decision whether to prosecute. I think they are still a fair way from being able to do this.
DD moved to another country to attend boarding school to get away from him. We have close family out there. Thankfully, she has thrived. Before all this happened, dd was a straight A student and had never even had a detention. She was also a national level athlete. Shes had to give up her sport, but she has completed her IB with flying colours and will be off to her uni of first choice (back in the UK) in Sept. I’m so incredibly proud of her, but want nothing more than for this to be dealt with properly.
What do I do?

OP posts:
Mummy103 · 04/05/2020 09:40

Im so sorry this happened to your daughter, she is a very brave girl. I would absolutely be complaining to the police on the basis they failed to gather sufficient and required evidence to pursue the case further. Its simply been sat on.
I fully appreciate they are a busy and overwhelmed service, prehaps if things got sorted immediately and not left to pile up like this it wouldnt be an overwhelming service.
Speak with your daughter and see if she would like to persue a complaint and take it further, encourage it. He doesnt deserve to get away with this, or maybe do it again he clearly isn't right minded.
Sorry once again OP. I hope you get some sort of justice.

Bluntness100 · 04/05/2020 09:45

I also think this one warrants a formal police complaint. I’m sorry about what your daughter has gone though but I think the time has come to formally escalate this now and act on her behalf.

As said, you need to formally raise a complaint. I’d also say it’s not fair on the Male either to have this hanging over him for such a long time. I don’t mean your daughters rapist, I mean any Male, because false allegations happen. These things need to be dealt with promptly.

mynameiscalypso · 04/05/2020 09:55

I complained to the police about the length of time it took them to investigate my rape (plus a number of other things) and it wasn't really very productive. Do you have the details of the senior officer in charge? They should be your first port of call - I spoke to the DCI several times and he carried out an investigation. He agreed that some parts of the investigation were very badly handled and I had an apology from one of the officers involved but ultimately that was that and there didn't seem to be much merit in taking it any further. I also waited until after a CPS decision to complain as I didn't want to rock the boat until then. Ultimately I came away thinking that the individual officers were, generally, trying to do their best but were incredibly overworked and under resources and complaining wasn't going to improve that. My time and energy was much better spent getting the right psychological support. I'm so sorry for what your daughter went through and I'm so glad she is doing so well now.

VeniceQueen2004 · 04/05/2020 10:03

One thing I'd say is you have given a lot of details about your daughter's case and life that could be personally identifying here. I might think twice about whether this is the place for so much information.

igivein · 04/05/2020 10:04

I think (having worked in police investigations) that this definitely merits a complaint, but don't complain to the DCI who's running the CID unit, they may well just try and down-play it for an easy life.
If you go onto your police force's website there'll be a 'how to make a complaint' section. Ideally it should be referred to the force Professional Standards unit for a more 'independent' review.

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