DH works in a supermarket. I'm vulnerable. He has been choosing not to wear the gloves provided.

[Btdp]

DH works in a supermarket, he has recently returned to work after taking 4 weeks unpaid leave.

He took the unpaid leave because I'm vulnerable, I battled sepsis late last year and spent two weeks in the HDU and needed two blood transfusions. My immune system was wiped out and my recovery has been very slow.

His boss wanted him back and I was worried about it, I was assured by DH that they're taking strict safety measures and PPE is available in the form of masks, gloves and a continuous supply of hand sanitizer.

DH and I were watching a program about coronavirus this evening and got to talking about PPE, he then let slip that he hasn't been wearing the gloves provided at work. I asked him why and he said it's "uncomfortable" to work in gloves. He's touching surfaces touched by 100's of people per day and we live in London, the epicentre of the disease in the UK.

I told him his selfish choice shows that he doesn't give a shit about the people in this house (2 year old, 1 year old and myself) and he huffed "no it's doesn't"

I'm fucking livid

Does he wash his hands regularly at work and when he gets home?

I believe it's better to wash your hands frequently and thoroughly. Gloves give a false impression of safety - if he's touching all those services with gloves and then himself/his face whatever still with gloves on they won't make any difference

No idea if he's washing his hands regularly at work.

I had to keep prompting him to do it at home when all of this started so I'm going to hazard a guess and say probably not.

He works evening until morning and we're still sleeping when he gets home so I don't know whether he's washing his hands before touching things. He does get a shower when he gets in but not before he has made himself a coffee etc.

Unless he’s working with covid patients he doesn’t need to wear gloves and they are useless, unless he changes them between customers and every time he touches something.
So long as he’s regularly washing his hands and using sanitiser he’s fine.

I left the conversation where it was and thought I would see what others think before I say anything else.

I'm frightened of catching it and with good reason so admittedly I may be bias.

I'm honestly not sure what gloves would achieve in these circumstances. The gloves will get covered in germs just as surely as his hands would. Why is it safer to wear gloves and discard them than it is to just wash his hands regularly?

And I say this as someone who is also vulnerable and whose husband is doing all our shopping, going to work, and pretty much doing everything outside the house that needs doing. Sometimes I worry about him bringing the virus home, but as long as he's washing his hands regularly, and social distancing, I think he's doing all I can reasonably expect of him.

I would feel the same as you op. Tell him why you're so upset, and that you really NEED him to wash his hands throughout the day and when he gets home. Spell out what the risks are
. I would nag nag nag even though I wouldn't want to. Some people just don't think this way - my dp can be like this, and it's infuriating. Brain just doesn't always get it.

You only have to read all the posts from healthcare professionals to see that incorrect use of gloves is worse than no gloves and there’s no way they are being provided with the unlimited supply of gloves they’ll need to make them worth wearing, so no, I don’t think he is BU to not use them, but he does need to take proper care with hand hygiene and not touching his face if he hasn’t just washed his hands.

Are there significant other issues in the relationship? The whole wear gloves everywhere is actuallly not that great!

I was lead to believe that the team had to wear gloves and that it was compulsory.

I'm wondering if that was a line he span me to ease my anxiety about him going back.

As long as he washes his hands before and then immediately when home, then that's what matters. Wearing gloves will just move the virus around at work and if he's not conscientious about touching face etc (which most of us aren't) then it gives a false sense of security.

What does “I may be bias” mean?

Hmm, I’m not convinced the gloves are particularly effective unless he’s changing them frequently and not touching his face with them in between. I think the medical view is that frequent hand washing and not touching his face is more important.

Fair points raised about the effectiveness of gloves, thank you.

Part of my annoyance is the fact he drilled in to me how they absolutely must wear gloves, so he always would be doing, and then tonight he lets slip that he's choosing not to.

As for whether there are other relationship problems, sadly yes, but I haven't let that colour my view in regards to this.

Highly unreasonable

There's a video on YouTube op showing how all that happens with gloves is you get the germs on there and then still touch you face, your clothes, your bag etc. Ask him if he's using the hand sanitizer and washing his hands. I'd expect him to wash his hands at the end of the shift and when he gets home. Can you get some antibacterial wipes so as you coem down the stairs in the morning you can antibac all the handles as you go?

I don't understand what people think wearing gloves achieves. Maybe reminds you not to touch your face but otherwise it's better to carry hand sanitizer

What does “I may be bias” mean?
I don't think it's a huge leap to work out she meant biased so not sure if you're tired or being the nn typo police

When I said i might be biased about the situation what I meant was that I probably feel more concerned about it than some would, because I'm vulnerable and if he did being the virus home then I'm likely to get very ill.

He's not worried about catching it because he has a great immune system. He often overlooks the fact that I do not.

He also told me the other day that somebody has been watering down the hand sanitizer at work, so as you can appreciate hearing that and now this.. I'm not filled with confidence.

MN typo police probably, save your effort typing sarcasm I really cannot be arsed with it.

He must know you are worried but he’s not bothered enough to take precautions at work. Big red flag!

*He's touching surfaces touched by 100's of people per day and we live in London, the epicentre of the disease in the UK£

Unless he's changing gloves after touching every surface the gloves will be contaminated anyway. He needs to be washing and stripping off as he comes in the he house without touching anything (and then cleaning anything he has touched after that!).

And to the poster who questioned her grammar...grow up

It's just rude, stuck up and unnecessary really isn't it. I bet she's a real hoot at parties, tipex in hand. The name is very fitting.

Yes he knows I'm concerned but has been quite flippant about the whole thing from the get go. He wouldn't have taken the leave had I not asked him to.

I know it's easy to say but try not to worry. Gloves won't really help unless he changes them every time he touches something. Insist he washes his hands,with soap and water when he finishes his shift and when he gets home. Nag until he gets so fed he does it. I hope you're okay.