Please bear with me.
I am looking to find a solution and break the cycle I find myself in with my husband.
If for some reason my husband is annoyed with me, I’m will back off and give him time to calm down and sometimes he sees if he has over reacted and acknowledges and we move on. Often though, he will sulk and when I pull him up on it he will say nothing is the matter, be chatty and then resort to sulky behaviour. If I have said something already I then keep quiet and busy myself but if he hasn’t snapped out of it in a few days i find myself getting very resentful and seething. I will then withdraw sonthat by the time he has come out of his sulk I am icily civil and don’t bother engaging him. Mainly because I feel like I have to wait to around for his mood to be back to normal while he takes his sweet time. He then starts pestering me saying what’s wrong, why are you upset, I. ant even remember why we argued etc in the first place. ie the onus is then put on me to tel him what’s wrong with me. I d like to break this cycle. In the past I have said what s wrong, his behaviour etc. he gets it but also gets defensive and i’m exhausted from having the same conversation.
I just want to find a way to break the cycle. Initially pulling him up on his silly behaviour felt like it was making a difference, he was surprised i raised it straight away and he seemed to make an effort to rectify it/ This is now waning. If I don’t want to leave him, should I just grow
a thicker skin and ignore it and when he s ok again somehow just get back to the relationship? I’m really struggling to know how best to deal with this. practical advice in light of your experiences would be helpful. As i said i do want to stay in the relationship, just need help to manage this issue.