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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

IABU for thinking my life is pointless

4 replies

needadvicebadly · 03/05/2020 23:17

Going to try and give as much info as possible but also try to stay anonymous, Posted here for traffic.

I'm scared of my son, and I'm so miserable that I don't see much point in living anymore as I don't have any kind of life anyway, my existance is pointless, I just live to serve my son and all his needs. He is in his 20s and suffers mental health issues, he refuses all froms of medication, he is paranoid, aggressive, manipulative, spins things around to suit himself, tells people he was abused as a child resulting in the way he is, he threatens to hurt me, spits in my face, constantly lies, tells me he needs help with things then tells his mental health team that he doesn't want my help, telling them I am forcing him into something, then the next day tells people his family never helps him and we don't care about him.

He doesn't pay his bills, I am contantly setting up new payment plans for him and then he doesn't pay it again, doesn't eat, doesn't buy food, blows all his money on the day he gets paid then asks me for my money so he can get food. Not one single day goes by without a new problem or drama that needs sorting out.

If I ever say no to him I get threats, he has smashed my car windows, he calls me and leaves voicemails shouting at me down the phone, he constantly makes threats when he doesn't get his own way that he is going to go out and kill people, I have been on to the the police many times, have log numbers, his mental helath team is aware of all of the above but nothing ever changes. I have blocked him but he just shows up at my house.

What do I do? I can't live like this anymore but all I ever get from people is "He's your son, you can't just abandon him"

OP posts:
Tootletum · 03/05/2020 23:19

Keep calling the police I guess?? Really no idea sorry.

Pomegranatemolasses · 03/05/2020 23:19

For your sanity, you need to separate from him. Get help, call the police whatever. You can't live like this.

Bingeslayer · 03/05/2020 23:22

Imvsaying this as someone who suffers quite badly with their mental health,but if I was you and you were able to,I'd move and not tell him where.

Sametimenextyear · 04/05/2020 12:49

Your life is not pointless.
You can't live your life for him though .
Start living for you.
If you can move then do.
If you can garage your car so he can't get to it then do.
If he threatens you , call the police.
Not a lot of people understand how it feels to be scared of their adult son.
It's heartbreaking & can make you feel like you've failed so deeply .
Sometimes you can't do anymore for people than what you've already done . Sons included.
Flowers

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