Employer making life VERY difficult.

[Titslikepicassos]

Supposed to be returning from MAT leave in June, have childcare arranged and as a key worker they will still take my baby - excellent.

Had a team meeting with work this week to discuss going back and have been told that I have to relocate as my partner works on the same site as me - which has been known since I informed them we were in a relationship, however the policy changed in October (before I went on MAT leave). While we are on the same site, our jobs are separate and we are working in different buildings, have different managers and different hours. The different hours means I will need to do drop offs and pick ups to coincide with opening and closing hours.

So during the middle of a pandemic, with child care mostly closed I now have to find a new nursery, lose a significant term time deposit and start the settling in process all over again. Not only that, they have told me to find my own employment within the company - my head is exploding with all of this. AIBU to think this is an unnecessary ball ache!

I appreciate that this is a minor problem given the amount of people losing jobs!

I would, id also probably tell his fiance as well but I'm a bit of a bitch 🤷‍♀️

I think you need to mention it, not just because of the policy but because it could have been a motivation so promote the person he was sleeping with.

Wow. What a read! Can’t believe it’s still ongoing.

It definitely needs bringing up, surely that’s classed as ‘a relationship’ and that’s what started your saga isn’t it!!?

As the union rep to bring it up. It has to be mentioned. Youve really got nothing to lose now.

It’s absolutely relevant, how dare they use my relationship as a way to try get rid of me and at the same time the other manager is behaving in a way which is causing others to think he’s fucking a junior staff member.

But it does feel like I’m telling tales!

I don’t think I’m going to be going back and they’re out of time for my flexible working request. I think it will end with a settle agreement or tribunal.

Be very careful. Perhaps get the union rep to talk about how his management style has created such a toxic atmosphere and the blatant favouritism shown to x has led to rumours they are in a relationship etc.

Bloody hell, this is turning into Jarndyce v Jarndyce. It seems to get worse at every turn.

So impressed by your determination to stick with it, OP. Hang on in there!

OMG. What an incredibly stressful, prolonged dispute. Sorry I don't have advice. I hope these people think twice before they try and shaft someone. And that you get a good resolution.

So sorry that you’re going through this and well done for pursuing it.

Would you prefer to go back if that manager was moved elsewhere?

I don't think you have anything to lose that it is wisely rumoured that they have a personal relationship... even if they aren't that the culture of favouritism is toxic.

If you're unlikely to go back I'd tell them - might help the rest of the team thats left and might encourage a decent settlement agreement and avoid a tribunal. Would need careful wording, so think about how to bring it up.

It’s not just my manager that’s the issue, my co-manager has played a massive part in this, it wasn’t quite as obvious at the time I put the grievance in though. The data breach has also caused issues. For me to go back, I’d want two members of the team removed and it will never happen.

I’ll have a think before mentioning the relationship. The entire team is going to be ripped apart by the end of this

No harm in ask for them both to be moved... shows you wish to return and their behaviour has caused the situation and senior management have not been managing them properly.

At the moment, you have the moral high ground, so really wouldn't talk about another's relationship.

It may be difficult for you to go back in terms of the data breach, but this will pass, and people will move onto someone else to gossip about.

Please remember that you haven't done anything wrong, so no reason for this to go to a settlement if you don't want it to.

At this stage much depends on you, and what you want.

Are there any other roles that could be arranged?

There’s nothing else suitable on my pay scale and seniority - unless I moved locations. My whole grievance centres on me being told I need to leave my current work place on 4 different occasions since I informed my line manager of my pregnancy, asking to move isn’t really an option.

The company have admitted its been handled extremely badly and have apologised for trashing my maternity leave - it’s been passed up the chain of command due to the complexities and they hope to have answers by next week.

Oh good. My next suggestion would be a Director's Review as the grievance procedure is rather limited in scope as to the results it can deliver, so pleased they are kicking it upwards.

It may be that they will offer you an apology, and sanction those who dealt with the situation badly, but have to warn you that it will most likely be in the form of, 'training...' (I am making some huge assumptions here such as the company you are working for is a large corp environment...).

The easy way out for them is to offer you a compromise agreement, which is in essence saying, 'we got it wrong, and can't figure this out...'

Terrible terrible behaviour and very poorly managed. Poor you, and poor your dp. Is he ok? Has he found different work?

I can see a compromise agreement being offered, it’s too big and complicated now. An apology doesn’t really cut it and I’m nearly 100% certain they will not move my management team around.

DP is furious, he hasn’t found another job but has a 3 month notice period so hasn’t started applying for anything yet.

Thanks again for all the advice and support

I would just say if an opportunity comes up in a face to face meeting:

‘I take it you know that there are substantial well-grounded rumours flying around about other relationships between senior members of the same team? I don’t want to name names and get involved in a gossip-fest as it’s beneath me, but it is galling, demoralising and deeply hypocritical that this situation with DP and I has been raised given the situation that is alleged to be ongoing’. So you get your point across without being a tattle.

We really are all rooting for you!!

Posting back here instead of handing in my notice!!

Was meant to have my THIRD grievance meeting today, the one where they’ve finally investigated and can give me some answers but it’s been cancelled and rescheduled until early October!

I asked to go back to work 6 bloody months ago!

I’m on paid leave until it’s resolved, which sounds great, but I’m paying nursery fees that I don’t need and twiddling my thumbs at home working myself into a bitter rage.

Do all big companies run like this or is mine just bloody awful?!

Sounds like they completely f*cked up and know it!!

If it helps keep DC home some days and enjoy the time?

Probably a good idea, the baby is a cute distraction.

I’d usually be thrilled with this amount of paid time off but I’m so angry!

Anger is productive. Overrides ‘nice’

God, I've read your whole thread, but not commented before, what a shit show!
Stay strong! And have some and

Wow. I am so sorry you have to go through this (just read your entire thread start to finish). Thank you for standing up for women and mothers.