Employer making life VERY difficult.

[Titslikepicassos]

Supposed to be returning from MAT leave in June, have childcare arranged and as a key worker they will still take my baby - excellent.

Had a team meeting with work this week to discuss going back and have been told that I have to relocate as my partner works on the same site as me - which has been known since I informed them we were in a relationship, however the policy changed in October (before I went on MAT leave). While we are on the same site, our jobs are separate and we are working in different buildings, have different managers and different hours. The different hours means I will need to do drop offs and pick ups to coincide with opening and closing hours.

So during the middle of a pandemic, with child care mostly closed I now have to find a new nursery, lose a significant term time deposit and start the settling in process all over again. Not only that, they have told me to find my own employment within the company - my head is exploding with all of this. AIBU to think this is an unnecessary ball ache!

I appreciate that this is a minor problem given the amount of people losing jobs!

keep strong OP - you're amazing amazing.

don't let the bastards win

doubled up on 'amazing' by accident but actually its justified

Hopefully good news @Beboombop - she now has two managers above her and is VERY unhappy about it by all accounts.

Thanks for the double amazing @Tigersneeze - Not really feeling amazing though, just powerless and worried about the future. The fucking shits.

Remember you are in a better position than you were...

Remember she has made it so you couldn't go back! Now you have a chance to go back or end up with a notable pay out!

KOKO

Thanks for the update, OP.

It sounds a proper shambles. The possible GDPR breach is a massive cock-up. I wonder if they've reported themselves to the Information Commissioner or whoever deals with that?

At least you've now got hours that work for you, but what a bloody palaver. Your manager sounds proper bonkers.

Just an update.

Have my grievance hearing next week - concerned that they’re just going to tell me I’m paranoid and won’t accept my flexible working request and I won’t be able to go back to work. Any tips for a hearing - my union rep is joining but don’t want to fuck it up.

Regional manager has now been ‘let go’ from the company so not sure how that will affect things

Are they hoping you will leave? YANBU

I’m a Comm Prop Solicitor but vague recollection from Employment Law that is indirect sex discrimination as they’ve chosen you as the one to move or effectively dismiss from your job and say you’ve got to find a new role.

Get it in writing and then get proper legal advice now from a Solicitor or ACAS.

Definitely feels like a push out. The man they have acting in my manager role has told everyone he will leave if he is demoted back down to his original role. My co manager is his best friend and my line manager is weak. Easier to get rid of me.

Thanks @Jimdandy - HR sorted all of that out and no requirement for either of us to move. Still some issues surrounding it but, they are now claiming the hours they told me i was doing on my return (and have childcare for) are not what they want and I can’t get new childcare due to Covid.

Haven't much to offer in the way of advice but jeez, aren't people just absolutely shitty sometimes. Good luck with everything, OP

Have a look for “pregnant then screwed”. They’re on Instagram/internet. You can chat to them about it all and they may be able to offer some advice, they know their legal stuff etc!

I di really feel for you . T would be hard to go back after all this and just settle into work .

I thought the law was now that everyone has the right to request flexible working and they have to have a pretty good reason to refuse .

OP sorry to hear you're going through this. I would bet that if you take them to an ET they'd pay you off rather than go through with it so chances are you wouldn't actually have to go through that. I think you've got a good case, providing you can evidence most of what you've said. They've behaved very badly towards you.
I know its stressful. I might suggest recording the meeting, obviously it would have to be with their consent but it might make them behave themselves more. Be very prepared, take notes in with you and make references to the things that they've done.

They can call the acting manager's bluff, frankly: he's not going to leave as we head into a massive recession.

Good luck this week.

If it is anything like the NATS contract I had it was deployable at will and you got three months notice.

Do you mean people in a relationship cannot work together and one has to relocate? That’s not uncommon but quelle surprise they are asking the woman to go and change job roles....

I'm in NZ and I've never heard of people in a relationship not being able to work together and I know plenty who do. What sort of archaic thinking is this?!

No advice, OP, but want to say how much I hope you win! I'll be willing you on.

Their collective behviour has been appalling, and your manager needs to be bollocked soundly and sent on some equalities training (which, in her case, would ideally be done in some sort of grim Maoist re-education camp).

What day is the hearing? I want to know so I can be sending huge positive vibes through the ether!

Is anything happening about the possible GDPR breach, or is that included in the grievance?

@eaglejulesk, this used to be a common thing, but I haven't heard of it for years. I was moved sideways when I was in my first job and started going out with someone in the same department, but that was 1973. One would hope that things had moved on since then.

I never understood the reasoning behind it, tbh. Whether there used to be a suspicion that people would constantly be canoodling in corners instead of getting on with their work, I don't know.

Advice for the grievance hearing

• you have a right to be accompanies so rake a TU rep or colleague and get them to take notes
• have a timeline of events with copies of relevant documents including your contemporaneous notes
• I know it will be hard but keep it factual
• offer reasonable practical solutions that they would have to explain why they wouldn't work
• know what outcome you want but be prepared to compromise a little regarding working hours so they feel it is win - win.

HTH

The reason employers don't like people in relationships working together is it makes fraud easier. The same applies to working with family members.

Just wanted to say best of luck, OP. These things are really stressful but you are so right to be challenging this and I hope you win!

The reason employers don't like people in relationships working together is it makes fraud easier. The same applies to working with family members.

Really???? I have never heard of that used as a reason, it sounds bizarre to me. As I mentioned, I know plenty of partners who work for the same business - in fact I used to work with my husband - and I also know several instances of family members who work together in the same business.

Good luck for your hearing! I think you've been very strong and assertive.

Ask for the policy on relationships. Ours is contained in our code of conduct and line management changes only occur if one partner reports to the other, people aren't expected to shift sites or find new jobs!