Just got baby sleeping through, now neighbour's retching wakes us

[bunpot]

Need a large dose of perspective and some earplug recommendations please. For months we've heard grunting through our thin walls in the evening. Now this has escalated to awful coughing and blood curdling retching every night for over an hour at 3am. This guy must be very ill right? Why does his coughing only happen in the middle of the night?! He was even in my dream last night, he was saying his last goodbye to me. Not sure how long 8 mo DD will continue her good sleep streak so would love to get at least one solid sleep. Do I need posh ear plugs? Will I still hear the baby monitor?

Definitely recommend earplugs but also, it might partly be that you’re waking more easily than you normally would because you’re in the god awful state I’ve only just got out of of never really going into a deep sleep because you’re just waiting for the baby to cry any second. I’m not minimising this, it sounds very distressing and I hope this man is ok and gets better. I just know that we live on a busy main road opposite a bus stop which has a 24 h bus on it and none of this bothered me when pregnant and then when dd never slept was almost comforting and then when she did felt like we were living in the middle of a brightly lit, busy industrial zone in the middle of the day and I couldn’t believe I ever slept through it. It passed. Back to log like sleeping now!

When my father in law was in the late stages of lung cancer he regularly coughed like this in the early hours of the morning, to the point where he'd vomit. It was very upsetting for everyone. Try to remain sympathetic and get some ear plugs.

Earplugs are not all that comfortable. When I put them in I get achey ears and the sound of my pulse disturbs me. Depending on your sleep position, noise cancelling headphones might be better.

White noise. Can't recommend it highly enough. My 4 year old ds has it on all night and so do I. A marching band couldn't wake us.

My next door neighbour also coughed like this when he was dying. It went on for months and was heartbreaking to hear. I felt sleep deprived and constantly reminded of my own mortality but also so awful for him. He had carers in a lot but there wasn't really much they could do for him.

Such a difficult situation. Can completely understand why you couldn't work this one out yourself.

And you think your baby never woke him?

It’s not as if he’s up having wild parties all night, the man is ill! Why not just knock and ask if he can die a bit more quietly so your precious sleep isn’t disturbed.

My dad has done something similar throughout the entire of my life. Usually first thing in the morning in the bathroom but heaven help the household and neighbours if he gets a virus. There's not actually anything wrong with him. I would honestly not be surprised if you were his neighbour (though my mum would have filled me in if someone new had moved in/ had a baby, she knows everyone)

I have WiFi earphones that come in a headband so you can sleep in them. I find either relaxing music or an audio book focuses my mind to it and shuts out other noises. It's gradual, and depending on the volume you use you will still be able to hear, but the noises should affect you less.

OK I've got a couple more hours sleep now. Will go for white noise through headphones as playing it out loud made no difference. Sounds like he could be seriously ill so I'll shut up.

I use wax earplugs. Have done for years. I still heard dd as a baby, and hear her over the monitor now if she needs me.
I'm very noise sensitive though

Have you thought about checking in with him to see how he is/if you can do anything? People are so self-centred nowadays.

If your baby is still sleeping through I don't think this will wake them. For you as a pp said try white noise it really does help

I'm not sure why pp are having a go, OP was just asking for tips on how she could manage to get more sleep, she wasnt saying she was going to bang on his door and demand that he die more quietly!

I might be reading the tone of your op wrong but you sound a bit arsey. He's ill! He doesn't want to cough. Get yourself some earplugs and thank your lucky stars it's not you who's coughing like that.